Good evening.
I have big problems with my sister when it comes to my mother. Like shifting blame, not taking responsibility, poor me attitude etc. I will talk about the most recent situation.
My mother is about to move to a new house. She will get her key this friday. Today i visited her. Than she complaint about nobody helping her. She complaint that nobody helped her to get her stuff down from the first floor to zero floor. I told her i can't sniff that she planned to do that.. because she didn't tell me nor did she asked for my help. Let alone asking anyone for that matter to help her. Than she kept complaining about what my sister told her..that my mother is responsible for her moving out and moving in another house. Which she didn't say. She said to my mother about not being responsible for someone else if he can help her or not. Which i off course told my mother. But she keeps on repeating about what my sister "said".
My mother was always like that. Refusing to ask for help when she needs help. Instead..she will say i have to do this i have to do that. I already do this and this and this so people are offering her help without her asking for it.
And than when she is doing stuff on her own when it comes to this moving out, than she complains that no one helps her and that she can't count on anyone. I already told her what my brother in law wants to do for her. But she refused, because my sister said that my mother is responsible for her moving out. And than she complains about her legs and how much her legs hurt her.
I told her that she is playing victim and that she created her own situation by refusing accepting help from me and my sister and my brother in law. And that we are fighting each other because she refused to ask for help and accept help. This is shifting responsibility. Shift blaming. Victim playing. this is manipulation 101.
I am on a list of a therapist to help je deal with my mother. No matter what i do like ignoring her doesn't help because she will complain about me having "not" an opinion. She wants a reaction. Standing up for yourself doesn't help either. She can be very nasty when you do that.
I just need a place to vent. This is the first time that i didn't keep my mouth shut about her behaviour. This is a milestone.
Thank you all for reading this and being gentle to me. Thank you