Did anyone else enjoy childbirth?

[CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair]

Not a boasting thread at all as I know it’s all in the luck of the draw and j was fortunate to have quick labours (although DS1’s left me a little shell shocked as I wasn’t expecting it). I’ve had DS2 3 months ago and he’ll probably be our last. The thought makes me very sad for lots of reasons including the fact that I feel really upset at the thought of never giving birth again. I found it such a powerful experience even though it was the most pain I’ve ever experienced.

DS2’s birth was lovely but DS1s was everything I didn’t want: induction, coached pushing in stirrups, not listened to and I ended up taking drugs that I haven’t wanted as I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to cope when the pain got worse (it never did despite the midwives keep telling me that I’d be put on the drip to “get things going soon” and failing to believe I was close until they went to put a clip on DS1’s head and found I was fully dilated). DS1 ended up needing oxygen and the room was full of people, bright lights and I felt guilty and in shock.

Despite that I felt really positive going into DS2’s birth as I felt that knowing what was happening would make me feel less panicked and then able to breathe better, relax and be in the moment rather than worrying about what was to come, and that’s what happened. With both once I reached the pushing stage I was fine as I felt the pain was purposeful.

I’ve generally found that women who have given birth tend to almost be in competition to say how awful it was and only one friend told me she actually enjoyed it (even though she had traumatic post-birth complications). Is this reflective of other mum’s experiences and do we not talk about it because we’re worried we’d sound smug?

All I can offer to this thread is that I think the student midwife quite enjoyed it. But she brought so much to the experience that I couldn't complain about her in the slightest!

No, I found giving birth profoundly debilitating. It wasn't about the pain, I had my second with pretty much no pain relief. What I hated was the exhaustion of it all. Both times I had to push for ages, (2 hours with my first) it was an awful war of attrition. I was not remotely empowered, and giving birth is down in my head as another thing I'm a bit shit at. I have no plans to attempt it again.

1st, very short established labour, no stitches but too painful for me.
Elx next time, calm... Beautiful I could enjoy seeing baby without the pain and worry etc. I really enjoyed my Elc.

Mine was pretty easy going, got to the hospital at 2am already 6cm.. gas and air and a very fast birth, I only pushed for 37 seconds! Baby in arms by 6am.
I wish I could redo the first 6 weeks though, I found it horrendous and cried continuously on my own without telling anyone, I was young and felt like I was being judged... If I'd asked for help maybe it would have had the happy baby bliss that you are supposed to feel.

No. Terrible staff who I’d say bordered on cruel. No, they were cruel.
I can honestly say I was traumatised by the experience. I really hope care has improved since I had mine.

Loved both of mine. With DC1 I was scared initially and frustrated that no one was taking me seriously as it was all happening really fast (less than 3 hrs from first contraction to baby), but as soon as I got in the pool it was incredible.

DC2 I knew what to expect and it was even better - 1.5hrs start to finish. Both times I had a water birth with just gas and air in the last 20mins. I don’t think I’ll ever have that sense of achievement again!

Exactly the same for me, neglect and abuse left right and centre. No care at all to me or the poor poor mum opposite me and her tiny ill baby in an incubator wedged between us. We were both in a terrible state after early births and emergency c sections..placed on a ward of 8 women... utterly horrendous conditions.Ended up needing therapy.
2nd was better but only because it was on my notes that id had to have therapy so i think they were trying to avoid a compo claim.

Ewwww they are horrible.

Yes me. Had 2 incredible births. Sad I will never do it again!

Yes loved it with all DC. Laboured in a midwife led birthing centre. Didn’t have pain relief - tried gas and air the first time but it made me vomit - but loved the birthing pool. Felt euphoric and high on oxytocin for 6 years straight. It does feel hard to discuss sometimes as there are so many horror stories but every aspect of having DC and motherhood has been the making of me.

I've had two births, third to be experienced in spring, and I can honestly say I enjoyed them both. (Pregnancy is not at all my cup of tea however).

They hurt like hell of course, but I was expecting that and kind of forgot about that and just focused on the fact I was birthing my children from my body. Made my own experiences amazing!

I don't talk about them much in real life because people can take it the wrong way as bragging but it's never my intention.

Best experience of my life but I got off lightly and my labours with both were so quick that I really didn’t have to suffer very much at all.

I remember the contractions being bloody horrid but I was only in labour for 8 hours and I had pethidine which really helped me.

I felt more I control with my second birth. I knew not to go to hospital straight away so stayed home and tried to sleep when contractions started but were still far apart. With DC1, I went to hospital as soon as my waters broke and it felt like I was there forever waiting for him to come.

I was much more relaxed being at home with DC2, and even when I got to hospital, I was still managing to breathe through my contractions very much in control of myself. When I was checked, I was 7cm dilated so had got through the worst of it comfortable in my home environment.

With DC1, they kept telling me to lie on the bed, I was on a monitoring ward with women who were in for low movement etc because the labour ward was full and I didn't have freedom of movement. DP also didn't want me to have any pain meds because the antenatal classes had panicked him saying they'd cross over to the baby.

With DC2, I told them I was standing up. I stood, and paced up and down through all of my contractions. I had pain relief which helped through contractions. The only time I got on to the bed was when they had to pop my waters as they hadn't been able to find her heartbeat for 30 mins. She came soon after that. I told them I needed to push and they said it's not time yet. I got on to my knees and pushed and my mum caught her coming out from just one push - she wasn't waiting!

I think I learnt from DC1 what I didn't want from labour and felt empowered to have it my way with DC2, so whilst I didn't enjoy the pain, it was a much more pleasant experience.

It’s interesting how many of us have found that the second time was a great experience. Often making up for a horrible first birth. It’s awful how many women feel scared and not listened to during their first labour.

I’ve also noticed how those of us who’ve found it a positive experience seem to often quantify it but saying “but I had a bad pregnancy” or “but my child was ill/ disabled after” or “but my first was awful” as if we’re almost apologetic about it or don’t feel we deserve to have had that experience.

Its a shame as I think it’s more common than I realised but people don’t want to talk about it whereas when I was pregnant every Tom, Dick and Harry (including complete strangers) couldn’t wait to tell me their horror stories.

Yes - second birth was a lovely birth. At home, in the birth pool twinkling lights & relaxing music playing in the background husband holding my hand, midwife talking me through each contraction the labour started after having a meal at the local restaurant, so it was a pleasant evening on the run up. I felt totally relaxed and in control. He was born at midnight (two hour labour), slipped into my waiting hands then onto my chest I fell in love instantly and it was how I envisioned birth to be the first time round. Celebrated afterwards with a glass of champagne and a cheese board feeling on top of the world - midwives were caring, attentive and so supportive which I think makes a huge difference In your experience of birth.

First birth was simply horrible- hospital induced two day labour, the midwives shouted at me for not laying on my back in labour (found being on all fours more comfy) then told me off for asking for pain relief i was exhausted, tearful, shaking, very scared by the time i was wheeled down to theatre for forceps delivery as his heart rate kept dropping - I remember just wanting to go home, lots of medical staff surrounding me when baby was brought into the world - then wasn't breathing on arrival but she picked up after oxygen, left by myself on the postnatal ward with an infection and dh not allowed to stay. I found it all very overwhelming and traumatic, ended up with pnd. My third birth was too fast and not enough time to process what was happening (no time for hosptial, midwives, pool, twinkling lights, music and dh missed the birth - no idea why people think quick births are great I was quite shocked with it ).

So overall I'm very grateful I got my magical second birth.

No - I gave birth to a premature baby during a doctor's strike and had to wait whilst they called more surgeons in as I haemorrhaged. Just luck of the draw.

Can I just say my first birth was exactly like your experience, and I'm currently pregnant with #2. First birth experience put me off trying again for years and years but we got to the point with my age where it was "better start trying now or never as I'm not getting any younger!" Got pregnant the first month which was a shock (expected it to take a year) and quite honestly, still didn't and don't feel ready haha!

So I reallllllly hope my second birth is like yours!!! You've given me hope!

DS was back to back. I had 80 hours of contractions with no pain relief until the 79th hour. Wasn't much fun.

Good luck! We did the same thing and thought we’d better try as I was getting older and then first month trying on honeymoon (but with less than a
2 year gap between babies).

I found second time that it helped to start breathing properly from the beginning which was much easier as I wasn’t panicking. I was able to just be in the moment and go into myself, count through them and then when I had gas and air at the pushing stage it worked far better than in my first labour.

Did you do any hypnobirthing beforehand by any chance? That sounds like the advice (I paid for and didn't use) from my hypobirthing course.

I'll definitely remember that, thank you. I'm also planning on trying to start the hypnobirthing meditations well in advance and really try to use it this time.

I didn't enjoy it exactly, I suppose it was just a means to an end for me. The epidural was lovely though.

I'm going with an elective c-section this time and I certainly think I'll enjoy that more.

No!

I did but found it all went out of the window the minute my contractions started (with my first they started at 3 in 10 and were as strong from the first contraction as they ever got. I don’t have time to catch my breath and get into the zone.

With DS2 I wasn’t inducted and they built up more (he was still born within 3 1/2 hrs of my first contraction though). I found the worst part was the car journey to hospital and walking up to the birthing unit as I wasn’t able to get into a position that felt natural. A tens machine worked wonders though.

Nope, found them all particularly bloody horrendous, especially the one that was back to back. It really seems like such an awful design fault. When I have painful dental procedures, I think ‘not that bad, could be worse, could be childbirth’. So, yeah, I’d even prefer really painful dental procedures.

I enjoyed giving birth to my ds. I only really had gas and air as pethidine was given too late to be effective. It was quite straightforward and once in established labout i dilated quickly. It certainly wasn't agony or even painful, i felt more pressure than pain and it was very nothing like the screaming, wailing and hysteria you see portrayed on tv etc.