Interviewer said this to me

[overtheover]

I don't think you'll be able to do the job (because I'm too organised apparently). I have never had someone say that before and I just wanted to know if this is normal or not? It was like she went out of her way to find fault with everything.

The other interviewer was complimenting me and was very positive, but this woman treated me like absolute shit. Lots of snide comments.

The thing is I had more experience than she does and also they employed someone I know who was so hopeless (her words!), at her last job (which is the same type of role), that she got terminated. Whereas I was given emails of commendation by a manager to my direct managers. That makes me feel even worse tbh.

I came from a horrible experience at my last role and was already feeling down and vulnerable, but this has just plunged me into a really dark period. I literally have no motivation.

I'm usually a strong person, but I don't really care what happens to me anymore. I'm sick of working with horrible people.

I have been unemployed since September and I can't give my last employer as a reference. I think I have become unemployable.

Everything I try seems to fail, I'm just weary now.

Usually I would go and get any job, but this time I can't as I have a physical disability and will only ever be able to do office type roles now, which are harder to get.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, I just feel scared about how out of character I feel and because I am desperately worried that I don't have a job, but also am relieved that I don't have to deal with those types of people anymore and don't care.

Has anyone gone through this?

Hi @overtheover,

theres lots in your message so let’s break this down.

How long were you at your last job? Are you sure you can’t give a reference? Most references these days are just dates and titles and don’t have much in them at all. You could contact HR and ask to see a copy of the reference for you if you wanted (or ask someone else to request it). It’s quite rare companies put anything personal in now.

It’s easy to feel really knocked and even ‘under a cloud’ when you’ve had a bad experience at work. However, remember things usually aren’t as bad as they seem. It sounds like you have been good at your job in the past (you mentioned the commendation) so there’s no reason you can’t find another role where you are happy again.

I don’t know the situation with your last job but if there was any discrimination over your disability make sure you fight your corner.

If you are finding it tougher to find roles with your physical disability also worth speaking to scope for advice.

I know it’s disheartening not having a job and the recruitment process take a lot out of you. Try not to stress or panic as something will come up. It sounds like one of the interviewers was a bit of a nightmare today but the other one was nice. It’s all good practice too.

I looked up Scope and I do think I will contact them. I think I am feeling very vulnerable as I can't do what I used to do physically.

Yes my last job was fine apart from a few of the people. Unfortunately this is very common in most workplaces and I would love to work remote. It wasn't just about my disability, I was racially abused and my religion and nationality were insulted and denigrated. Sexual harassment was rife, HR as usual were for the company. I'm sick of it. The interviewer just showed me these weirdos who will ruin everything are everywhere. Lucky escape really.

Unfortunately the Government are wrong, there are not many options for disabled people to get remote work.

I was at my job for less than six months and was a witness for a victim of ageism and sexual harassment. They were auditing me constantly but couldn't find any mistakes to get rid of me! I was having health problems because of them and was fired as they can terminate you for anything in the probation period they were desperate to fail me on!

Are you sure it wasn't just a standard, challenging interview question? Stating "I don't think you can do this job" and waiting for your considered response is not discrimination/ offensive / something to get upset about..... it's a statement that is routinely posited as part of an interview, to test strength/suitability/resilience!

@overtheover perhaps you should raise a unfair dismissal claim? Lots of the legal companies do it as no win no fee. Under two years you don’t normally have any protection but that doesn’t apply if you have a disability.

On the new job hunt - definitely give scope a call they are specialists and will hopefully have some good advice for you!

Sorry about what you experienced though, it sounds like an awful culture and no wonder it has knocked your confidence x

This line from your OP really stuck out for me: “I’m sick of working with horrible people.”

That’s the nub of it isn’t it OP? Someone like that in a workplace can make your life hell. You wouldn’t carry on living in the same household as someone who criticised you constantly yet we are supposed to spend 8 hours a day with them. I’ve been there, I feel you.

I do think however, that they are not everywhere. You’ve been unlucky. Keep searching - something better will come up and there will be no horrible people. Annoying ones maybe, ones you wouldn’t be friends with outside work, but no actual bullies.

I would actually say that they were giving you every chance possible to do well in the interview by phrasing the question in the following way- "we are not convinced you could do well here, you are too organised". It's a gift of an interview question if you can pause being deliberately outraged. Being very organised is a great asset, or what are your other strengths that you could bring into play? Answering this question well is a chance to shine. And it's very common to have a good cop and bad cop interviewer, you're taking this all too personally

Really never been told that before and when I did counter it with reasonable argument she seemed pissed off. She was adamant that she would be the only one who would be having holiday in August and nobody in the work family would be sick ever! Weirdo!

Just another exploitative workplace with inexperienced idiot managers.

I'm over it now, I had a lucky escape. I've just had enough of these insecure managers that are uneducated and inexperienced, but gold medal brown-noser types who get propped up. I just wish I had ended the interview. At least I withdrew when I got home.

@Tusktusk Yes, thank you so much for understanding. It's wasn't only me that got treated poorly it was other ones picked out too. It is the same in most places though and I cannot stand it.

@Squiggles23 A colleague of mine tried to fight them but the dirty tricks they played put me off. They sided with sexual harassers and racists. Attacked for my religion. I was threatened in more than one occasion. The men were fine it was the women!

Like I said it was a chosen few who hit badly treated. HR per usual were corrupt.

@Theredfoxfliesatmidnight Lol good cop bad cop - more like Laurel and Hardy. The department is failing due to their uselessness - you afford them too much intelligence. The woman told me her background, I was far more experienced than her and better educated. The fact she said I couldn't do a job because I was too organised is nonsensical; she was just mad I had a holiday in August she said it to the other interviewer right in front of me! Unprofessional, self interested, insecure idiot. The type that abound workplaces making everyone miserable.

OP you’re focussing too much on this one interaction. You’re sounding like you like being the victim. Interviews can be tough, and you need a stronger mentality - and far fewer excuses - to work successfully in a team environment.

@Lagirl20 Team environments that include ageism, sexual harassment, racism etc etc. Nah, I don't call that a team environment, I call it abuse. I am not brainwashed to put up with that and I pity those who do not have the self-respect to leave whatever their circumstances.

But I agree @Lagirl20 I am giving that insecure loser too much focus. I will take it as a compliment and see it as a lucky escape. I have decided to forgo being a wage slave, it is too limiting and depressing.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to go and enjoy myself tonight with a renewed determination!