Why did a new traumatic event reduce my constant worrying?

[Koalatreats]

I had something bad happen to me. My world collapsed and I was in a really bad place.

I was always a worrier from being tiny. I worried about everything and found it so very hard to live in the moment.

Then my traumatic event happened and I worry so much less. It is like I have reset. It’s peculiar.

I have read a lot of books ( bit of counselling but not sure how much it helped really). I had done yoga for years and the breathing came into it’s own when I was at my worst.

But I’ve also lost a bit of drive and focus. I’m not sure what on earth is going on. It’s like new trauma cured old trauma! Anyone else had this? Any books you can suggest?

It'd probably because you realise now how little every day worries don't matter. It puts it into perspective. I'm sure most people atm feel their everyday complaints are a little trivial compared to living in a warzone for example. So it's normal for a big bad thing to make you realise little bad things don't need your brain use!

Well done for making such progress, and for overcoming your hardships x

I'm sorry you've had a lot to deal with. It's sounds like you are finding some peace. Perhaps a few sessions with a counsellor or therapist may help?

I also think a serious incident makes some other things fade into inconsequential. Not worth worrying about. I've had a similar experience and I don't spend time worrying over little things in the same way

The very bad thing happened and you survived it OP. You are resilient enough to cope with less traumatic events. I remember watching RD Laing give a talk to an audience and he said we waste an awful lot of our lives worrying about stuff that could happen, yet most bad things that occur, we can't do anything to prevent them. Shit happens - or doesn't. It's ok to have a 'reasonable' amount of anxiety as it helps us deal with trauma. I'm guessing you have survived it to a large extent. 💐

A lot of people found this during covid. It's like the worst happens and you coped so now you are more confident in your coping skills.

This is known as post-traumatic growth.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/post-traumatic-growth?amp

I don't know if this is the same but I had a very close family member die in really horrible circumstances and the things I worried about before just seemed to matter less for a long time after that. Plus there was less space for it with all the grief.

It puts the smaller stuff into perspective. In my life it's happened three times: when my dad died very suddenly, when I had my first child, and when I realised we were all SEN in our house, and it wasn't going to change.

I'm a lot more chilled about the small stuff now.

I've experienced the same op. Always been a bit of a worrier, stressed, anxious about things that might happen, pessimistic etc.

Then something absolutely awful happened to my family. It took a year to work through it and ever since then I just do not care about the small stuff anymore. I feel confident in my ability to overcome things and I know I have a lot of lovely friends/family who are there for me when I need them.

I know I now see some of my bad points in a more positive light. I accept childhood trauma may have affected me more than I ever thought.

Post traumatic growth may be what has happened. The only positive in a bad situation. I will read about it.

However I have lost more belief in people. I believe some people have very dark sides that they hide from the world. We don’t know what dark sides people have and how they hide them for years. I can’t imagine living like that - I am glad I have integrity and live by my values. That is a positive. I’ve realised some areas I was seen as inflexible in are good - they define me.

I am not out of the woods yet. I have coped previously with adversity and come out strong with intact self esteem but this is different. It’s like I was so destroyed I have had to rebuild from the ground. It’s hard to describe really. Some days are really hard.

Hope all of you that have felt similar experiences are okay now and feel happier and stronger in yourselves. I hope you have found peace.