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Original poster

Not to go to nursery Xmas show

46 replies

ChocHotolate · 26/11/2023 12:31

My 3yr old is in nursery, a private day nursery rather than a school nursery type.
Every Christmas they do a small show with the children singing carols and Christmas songs, parents are invited to watch. Last year the show was mid morning so the parents who could attend then had to say goodbye again to their children for the rest of the day. Of course this really upset some of the children, watching their parents leave. Luckily my daughter wasn't full time so we just took her in for the show and then took her home again.
This year my daughter is there full time & I'm thinking I won't attend this year even if I were able to as saying goodbye mid morning would upset her too much.
Has anyone else had similar?

OP posts:

Mariposista · 26/11/2023 21:54

I am just imagining that little kid looking for her parents and they aren’t there…

please go. You can explain to her that you will be leaving after and you will do something special to celebrate how fantastic she was onstage later.

mondaytosunday · 27/11/2023 00:28

You have to go! Kids look to see their parents. You just prepare her that you will have to go and collect her at the end of the days as usual.

Sunmoonandstarsforever · 27/11/2023 04:49

I always went to my 4 children’s plays etc- now I go to my granddaughters, the smile on her face when she sees me walk in, she positively beams….you should never let your little people down😍

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HAF1119 · 27/11/2023 06:34

I would go.. I had to miss one play when my son was 3 at a school pre school as just couldn't go to everything due to work) he was half private half pre school at a school). He was so sad and asked for a long time. The asking you to stay and a few tears can be managed fairly easy. Let them know you're coming for a visit and then will go and pick them up at end of day. When they finish big cuddle 'you was amazing!' And say you'll have to go but you're super proud and will be back in a few hours, then go. You may get some tears but honestly I always get told they don't last long at all!

MrsDrSpencerReid · 27/11/2023 06:58

Oh go if you can.

I keep seeing videos pop up of kids reacting when they spot their parents in the crowd, seeing their little faces light up gets me every time!

Motherhubbardscupboard · 27/11/2023 07:25

If you can go, you should. You should explain in advance that you will be leaving afterwards. However some parents won't be able to go, e.g. teachers, doctors, nurses. In my experience the best thing to do in that situation is to arrange a deputy in advance, and the child knows who will be coming to watch them and take pictures for mummy and daddy. I've done that role myself and try to make it special for them.

DappledThings · 27/11/2023 07:31

Novelhelp · 26/11/2023 13:45

I’d go because these little things are important.

Id also be questioning why the show isn’t on nearer to home time? My DC were in a similar nursery and the shows were always 30 minutes before pick up time.

Edited

My nursery didn't have a pick up time. It was open 7.00-6.00 so everyone had a different time what suited them.

Lots of parents would cone to things about 2pm in a late lunch then have to go back to work again.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 27/11/2023 07:37

Of course you have to go or if you really can't make it can someone else go instead? My husband and I went to my neices "grandparents day" one year when they were overseas and she was really happy to see us. I'd try to make the effort, of course for her but you too, it will be so special to see

YireosDodeAver · 27/11/2023 07:47

It's important that you go. It's important that you tell her beforehand how excited you are to see her performance and tell her afterwards how impressed you were with how well she did. This is part of her education, learning to have the courage to perform in front of an audience.

If she would really find it upsetting for you to leave after the show then you could take the whole day off work but I think with managing expectations in advance it should be possible to head off any upset, by repeating many times over the days before how excited and happy you are that you are allowed 2 hours off work ti be allowed to see the show and you don't have to be at your desk till 11:30 and isn't that brilliant.

LoreleiG · 27/11/2023 07:58

I would go if I could, l but communication is key - the pps who did not go presumably explained to their children beforehand hence them being fine about it. Not all jobs mean you can easily leave to a nativity, eg medical jobs. And they are not always at a manageable time for parents.

Novelhelp · 27/11/2023 09:12

DappledThings · 27/11/2023 07:31

My nursery didn't have a pick up time. It was open 7.00-6.00 so everyone had a different time what suited them.

Lots of parents would cone to things about 2pm in a late lunch then have to go back to work again.

Show quote history

Our Montessori finished earlier at 12.30pm.

However regardless of the actual ‘closing time’, if the concert/show was scheduled for eg 4.30pm, surely it would be easier for people to finish a bit earlier and take the children directly home afterwards?

Eg we live half an hour train journey away from the city. A big IF if the train times worked out, If we had to leave work (20m to walk to the train), wait for train, get in train (30m), go to a show (30m) , hang around a bit afterwards (20m) , walk back to train (15m), wait for train, jump back on the train (30m) walk back to the office (20m), stay in work a few hours and then get the train home again, it’s very awkward. It would be much more convenient to finish at 4pm, get train home, grab car, drive ten mins to creche, watch show and go straight home together?

Noicant · 27/11/2023 09:14

DD would have been a very upset if I missed her xmas show.

KingsleyBorder · 27/11/2023 09:24

You said that you could take her home afterwards last year because she “wasn’t full time” but now she “is full time” so you can’t.

Are you actually saying that you need to go to work afterwards this year? Because you do realise that you can take your child home from nursery whenever you want to, regardless of how many hours they are booked in for?

She will probably be fine and, as others have said, it would be worse not to go at all. However could you (or your partner if you have one) maybe arrange to wfh that day or take the afternoon off? Normally wfh with a preschool age kid is a big no-no for employers and not really practical, but the odd afternoon here and there can be doable, in your shoes I wouldn’t ask permission from work to have here there for a few hours, I’d just do it.

(actually in your shoes I’d just leave her in nursery the rest of the day and accept that the staff can deal with a few tears).

Bunnycat101 · 27/11/2023 09:29

Ours worked on their nursery shows for weeks and weeks. Both would have been gutted to have missed them. I’ll also say my eldest was in reception during Covid and therefore no nativity at all. You only really realise how important these moments are when they’re taken away. You only get these lovely things for a few years- don’t choose to miss it because you’re overthinking the end. You’ll be gutted in a few years time.

Original poster

ChocHotolate · 27/11/2023 12:59

Yep, I'll definitely go. Just as long as it's on a day I'm not working

OP posts:

KingsleyBorder · 27/11/2023 14:23

ChocHotolate · 27/11/2023 12:59

Yep, I'll definitely go. Just as long as it's on a day I'm not working

Well then you can take her home at the end of the show. It’s a nursery, not a prison!

TheCurtainQueen · 27/11/2023 14:38

She’ll be far more upset about you not going.

SparkyBlue · 27/11/2023 15:20

Is there any way you can take her home afterwards that's what I'd always do if possible? The year I had to go back to work my parents took her to theirs for the afternoon

WombatBombat · 27/11/2023 15:22

The flip side of this - I was one of two parents who went to a nursery reading afternoon, and seeing my boy’s face when he realised HIS mummy was there when no one else’s was, is something that I will remember forever.

OneToThree · 27/11/2023 15:27

Being there is the most important thing. The goodbye is a small negative.

FromMilanToMinsk1 · 27/11/2023 15:42

As everyone has said, it's priceless when they look around for you and spot you. I pretty much hated going to school things (I dislike crowds and making small talk, plus the smarmy headmaster would always wang on for ages) but I always did just for that reason - showing up for them, it's beautiful and these years are so fleeting.

All the kids filing onstage, looking around for their people, spotting them, huge grins. So sweet.

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