Could you live without a dining table?

[87mum]

Could you live without a dining table?

Current set up is - round dining table in the living room with 4 chairs that take up a fair bit of space. It's quite compact, well the table is but the chairs don't fit store neatly under it.

We have a 6 year old with a 2nd on the way. Ideally we'd have a smaller dining table but I can't find anything that would be suitable/I like.

For those who got rid/don't have one, what do you do with your children at tea time? My 6 year old occasionally spills etc and we've always had one even though it's mostly used as a dumping ground/can be quite difficult to get into due to the location it's in.

We've tried rejigging the room but it's a weird shape and we are trying, again, to make the best of the situation.

So it’s not easy to spot adults who didn’t grow up with tables then?

I grew up really poor and working class in a council house. We didn't have a dining table to eat at. We ate in the livingroom on the couch watching telly, every meal, including Christmas. It was the only room with any heating anyway. Most people I knew lived in the same style.

Now I have both a kitchen table and dining room table. We eat most meals in the kitchen, some in the dining room (Sunday lunch, birthdays, people coming over etc). I would not like my children being raised without an eating table so would squeeze one in where ever I could OP.

“I insist that we all each dinner together and chat about our day.”

do you insist on the chat? What happens if someone just wants to eat quietly and not join in with the chat?

We have a coffee table that works for all of us. Sometimes we play music while we eat, sometimes it's the TV, sometimes just chatter... But we also have a small ikea table for kids that we pull out of DS wants to watch TV while he eats

https://www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350186604.aspx?dim1=1&dim2=2&cod=Google-PPC-Shopping-20485265410-&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA9ourBhAVEiwA3L5RFkdA6bkGhKkjsN5I1DE2aNRYfZ7mr31SJRhsOzfjvOcRl6klvr73jRoCk0kQAvD_BwE

This table and stokke trip trapps (eBay!)for the kids, which are the best space saving chairs I’ve found and last forever as they can grow to adult size!

I would interpret it as the insistence being on the gathering round the table rather than forcing everyone to join in.

But then you know that.

Dunno, I interpret it as being summoned for an interrogation me. Enough to put you off your grub before you got to it.

'Summoned for an interrogation' or 'Normal social interaction' ?

I have a farmhouse one with benches so the benches just tuck underneath!

Or get one of those foldy up ones? You can get ones where you store fold upside chairs in them too!

Well, nobody else did, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

I must say, I've never really gone for the idea that family dinners should be a rehearsal for dinner party chit-chat. I consider it a success if everyone remains good-humoured and doesn't throw a fit about the food! Having kids talk about their days, and listen to adults talk about theirs, sounds quite forced. Talk or eat, yes, but talk about anything (other than how yucky the spinach looks).

We've got a small drop leaf one that nobody eats at but my husband won't get rid of because fuck knows.
We use foldable tables that slide under the sofas when not in use.

We had a big round table and I was sick of clearing it every day, coats, clothes, junk mail, laundry etc.

We now have this console table and bench. Room stays tidy and you can pull the bench out a bit to use for homework.

Then slide the table open and add a couple of fold up chairs to seat 4 comfortably.

It's made such a difference not having a table of doom.

https://www.futoncompany.co.uk/shop-by-product/furniture/tables/oak-console-table.html

We ditched the kitchen one for an island with stools and the dining room was turned into an office. There’s only DH and I though so wasn’t worth keeping.
DH was reluctant at first citing Christmas as an issue, but we only have the kids every other year (they go to in-laws as well) and it seemed a bit daft losing practical kitchen space for the sake of one day in every 730.

Christmas Day now we get extra folding stools out of the loft and sit around the island. It works for us.

I have 4 kids all teens now and we've never had one.

Put a temp one up in living room for Xmas.

I love our dining table. We bought it for £10 from a neighbour. It's needs a cover over it now but it is has endured alot of family time, so loved in our home.

Now my eldest children are teens it's become more of a focal point. When we are all home we eat at the table and chat.

It's also where we play board games, where one of my teens paints. It helps that we have a kitchen/dining area so the table is never lonely.

This is gorgeous!

Could I live without a dining table? - yes
Would I like to live without a dining table? - no

I bought a new dining table 15 years ago when I bought my house. It was never used until about 8 years ago when I started working from home in my dining room. It’s my desk now 😂 I have an office upstairs but too lazy to go up and down all day so I don’t use it except for storage.

Lived very happily without one when I was single-had huge comfy sofas instead and just ate on my lap. But I was rarely home to eat much and it was a small place.

In our last house we had about 2 years with no table when DD was a baby but we had an enormous kitchen island to eat at instead and she was in a high chair so didn’t matter. That was all during lockdowns-we wanted a new table (had sold ours as didn’t suit this house) but hadn’t found one before Covid hit and obviously couldn’t trail the country looking and everything online went out of stock. Then part way through we knew we were probably moving again so decided not to bother until next new house.

Now DD is 4 we use our table so much, couldn’t not have it. It’s vital for meals and crafts and play. I see it as a priority for kids.

We sound quite similar!

I know it's considered super important to neurotypical families who find it hugely important to all eat the same thing, at the same time, in the same place.

But that doesn't work for us - a small neurodivergent family - at ALL. We eat different things at different times in different places around the house, and that's something we all need and even benefit from.

We still, including DD, manage to eat around a table in a civilised manner when at other people's houses and in restaurants.

And we do actually have a dining table, which we have used on the odd occasion I've been brave enough to invite somebody over for a meal. But it mostly gets ignored, because it's in a room that's too hot in summer and too cold in winter.

Oh and before somebody feels the need to express sorrow for our DD who isn't getting quality family time and conversation around the dinner table, we do plenty of that! We just don't find it works for us to tie it to food.

For me, a table is essential. Can make do without a sofa or a bed (happy to sleep on a futon) but a table is used for so many purposes - eating, wfh, homework, art and craft, house admin, an extra space if doing very involved baking, etc.

Hehe this goes to show we're all different doesn't it - I could easily do without the table as long as I have a desk in my room for crafting, doing paperwork, etc. In fact we have five desks in our house, with only three of us living here! But the dining table is pretty much surplus to requirements.

However doing without a bed, oh my goodness no, you wouldn't believe how much time and energy and money has been ploughed into making all of the beds in the house as comfortable as possible for the person/people who might sleep in them at any given time. A truly comfortable place to sleep - and spend winter evenings under thick duvets, to avoid putting the heating on! - is a complete non-negotiable to me.

It's all good though, the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same as each other!

I do think that having a table to eat at is an important part of family life.

Of course some houses are too small and can't manage it, but it is definitely a priority I think.
I have 3 kids, only one left at home now, and we always ate dinner at the table, starting when they were tiny. No big deal or fuss, just this is where dinner is served.
Some days interesting conversations, other days just eat and go.

But I can say that it was key in touching base with kids during all the teenage stuff, they just did normal family life for 20 minutes over dinner. We could mention stuff coming up (Granny popping in on Saturday) or someone could moan about their day ... or not. But it was really helpful as a way to keep that communciation open. And some days we really had big conversations, debates or whatever over all sorts of stuff, that just wouldn't have happened in the same way I don't think without that sitting down together.
I do think one reason this works or matters though is that there is no TV and no phones.