Decluttering with hoarders. HELP!

[Frequency]

DD2 has a boyfriend and wants him to stay over. She's 17. They've been together for a year. I have said yes. I said Hell Yes when she told me she would need a skip to clean her room ready for his arrival.

The skip is almost empty. Her room is full. We've just had a 30-minute conversation about a giant pink box full of old Peppa Pig toys.

Someone might want them.

I don't want them. DD1 does not want them. I wouldn't insult a charity shop by dumping them on them and DD2 did not know they were there until we unearthed them 30 minutes ago so she clearly does not want them.

DD1 might have a baby who might want them.

DD1 is single and cannot leave the house. She's also gay.

We also have a whole large storage box full of coloured pencils. Not the fancy coloured pencils she uses now for college. Just plain old coloured pencils and half-used children's colouring books that it would be a shame to throw out because someone might want them.

I have so far managed to get rid of one storage box full of odd socks that no longer fit her and 2 throw pillows.

She's not emotionally attached to the objects. She is just convinced someone might want them.

Can't believe nobody replied to your thread @Frequency . The fact you have had to hire a skip does say that this is a bit more than your typical untidy teenage bedroom.

I would suggest that you get her down to your local charity shop for a couple of shifts. She will soon see what sells and what doesn't sell - and might change her ideas about what people want. My inlaws are fully in the "might come in useful" mindset and have stuff which they will never use again which is being kept just in case. Things like 1980s dinner suits which no longer fit, and VHS tapes when they don't have a video player.

How would she take it if you just removed the decision from her hands and chucked stuff?

Would she agree to your taking them and dealing with finding "someone who might want them"?

Could you agree with her to put the stuff like peppa pig toys and colouring pencils on Freecycle or FB marketplace for free for say two days and if no takers, it goes in the skip?

Get them on Olio (app) - craft stuff goes quite well on there in my experience.

My husband has the same mindset. I box them up and tell him I'll take them to a charity shop and then I book a slot in the local recycling centre. He's happy, I'm happy and the house is a little less cluttered.

In fairness to her OP it does seem incredibly un-environmentally friendly to literally just Chuck everything in a skip and send it to landfill. It might be the quickest way to deal with all her stuff but it’s not particularly responsible. Are the peppa pig toys still in good condition, could they actually be played with? If so then there’s no reason you can’t take them to a charity shop. They sell kids toys, why would it be an insult to them? It’s only insulting if they’re all broken in which case you can explain this to her and then the skip is fair enough.

Did you Chuck the cushions in the skip as well? Same point applies here, charity shop will be grateful for them if they’re in good condition. If they’re stained and dirty then skip is appropriate to then go for textiles recycling.

again if the crayons are working then you can donate them to a local preschool or nursery. If they are all broken then they go in the skip.

I think if you approach it like this then your DD may be more receptive.

To my great surprise, our local preschool said a resounding yes please to all our old craft supplies (and asked for any more we might find).

Freecycle / facebook marketplace is your friend if there is any life left in the items.Put a time limit on the posts and what hasnt gone gets tipped.
Its not good to save things ' just in case'. It took me months to clear out sheds that held all of the things we kept for that elusive ' somebody' .
I now look at my belongings with a colder eye and wonder if i would buy them if i saw them in a charity shop . Often i wouldn't so they get listed or thrown depending on condition.

With your Dds room i would be inclined to just put things in black bags and throw in the skip.

Schools or kindergartens might want the pencils or toys?

You could advertise on Facebook and leave everything outside for a day. If it's not gone by the end of the day it goes in the skip. I'm surprised by the things people want.

But I understand your exhaustion and your need to get things out of the house.

So outside the door and if not taken it's the skip!

i do find a lot of time wasters on FB but we have a WhatsApp for the street (which is quite long) and a couple of primary school teachers who I’ve never met have taken quite a lot of things directly from me. Including stuff which I might have thought a bit too shit for the charity shop.

I also fully understand that although passing things on is the right thing to do when operating at a “maintain” level, when you have a mountain to clear, a skip is a necessary evil if you have other things in your life making equal or greater demands on your limited headspace. Good luck!