Anyone else socially awkward?

[HappyCamperTent]

I wouldn’t call it anxiety. But I do struggle in social situations, and it takes a me a little while to warm up and relax.

This is mostly evident when I randomly bump in to someone. Particularly if I think they’re ‘cool’ which is weird because I’m nearly 40 🙄

An example is bumping in to someone who I know does the same sport/activity as me and is really really good at it!… Like awe inspiring.
Or someone more senior in work who’s a bit intimidating but actually isn’t and it’s in my head because they’re actually a really nice person!
Or someone who’s really good looking or intelligent or stylish!

It doesn’t matter how nice they are I seem to always become awkward around them and just sound really stupid!… I can’t articulate any of my words and just sound like a fumbling mess!

I come across as a complete idiot and I’m not!!

Is this just me?! 🙈

I do this too! My mind can't even think of words sometimes so I stare blankly with resting serial killer face, sometimes whisper, then walk away.

I’m the same.
I bumped into a senior partner in the kitchen today. I’ve spent all day thinking ‘I’m such an idiot….must think I’m a bloody weirdo…who says things like that?!’

I’m at the stage now where I have actually hidden from people I know or pretended I haven’t seen them if out, because I just can’t cope with being so awkward. If I’d arranged to meet these people I can cope but a random encounter totally throws me.

🙈 OMG! That’s the awkwardness I feel!

I also feel like my lips are moving faster than my brain that I constantly trip over my words. So then I just shut up, which again feels awkward

I’m same, strange as I have a fairly senior job and spend my life feeling like an imposter.

This is exactly how I felt coming away from bumping in to someone today. Which prompted this thread!

Yes! You have just described me to a tee...so relieved to know I'm not alone!

It’s not just you OP, there are plenty of us around!

Me too! I'm so socially awkward. Once I get to know people I'm okay but I also hats bumping into people unexpectedly. I'm appalling at spontaneous small talk.

Has anyone found ways to overcome it?

I've decided not to talk to anyone because after I do I just feel like such an idiot.
I'm such a Muppet.

Me too! I never know what to say to people!

I'm not socially awkward unless I'm tired, oddly, but I find it endearing in others. It seems to indicate they're sensitive and don't know how to bullshit, which are positive things in my book.

Same! Also there’s a podcast for us: https://play.acast.com/s/adrift

It’s called Adrift, with Geoff Lloyd & Annabel Port, all about living life as socially awkward people. People send in quandaries, etc. It’s really nice.

Oh that podcast looks good. This is me too. The other person can be pretty much anyone, don’t even need to be cool

Me too, but if it’s any consolation, I found it got much better as I got older. I’m in my 60s now and the awkward feeling has probably reduced by eighty percent. I’d say this is in part due to increased confidence resulting from unexpectedly finding a hobby that I’m really good at, but also because I no longer worry so much about what others think of me.

Me too and I'm 42. I have improved a bit but it's so frustrating when the words don't come out right as I probably come across an idiot or weird lol.

Yes! I have been known to drive back out of supermarket car parks because I’ve seen a relatives car there.

Any time I bump into someone (and don’t successfully manage to pretend I don’t recognise them) as soon as we start chatting I’m thinking when is the right time to end this conversation? How do I know? How do I end it?

Yes all this is sounding eerily familiar.

I've reached the conclusion that I'm actually fairly normal, loads of people feel awkward in social situations and are either better at masking it or I don't notice their awkwardness because I'm too busy worrying about how I come across.

This is the way that I feel! But sometimes it’s unavoidable