How do you respond to patronising tones?

[whatausername]

Just as the title says really, how do you deal with a patronising tone?

not very well- I need to learn though so folllowing!

Not even a crumb of context or effort in the OP?

Look them in the eye and adopt a steely tone

A classic head tilt blank stare does very well.

Really depends on the who and context of the patronising.

One of two ways:

Either both eyebrows raised with a polite smile, or if I dislike them intensely I look down my nose at them.

Both work very well, I've found.

Although with XH I used to tell him not to be such a patronising twat. That also works.

The same way I deal with people who ask random questions with no context to them

Depends on who and the context surely.

I (female) once had an external auditor (male) email me to say "could you please be a dear and do xyz so it's ready when I arrive tomorrow?".
I sat on it a bit before replying by saying "I don't generally do being "a dear" but, on this occasion , I'm happy to oblige..."
When we met face-to-face the next day he grovelled so low it was v. satisfying!

I match it. Tone for Tone.

Depends on who it's coming from, so my reaction would vary from a matching tone to the death stare .

I never considered different techniques or reactions to different people. My thinking was a reaction a tone rather than a person, iyswim. I'd say it's sometimes from colleagues, sometimes from senior colleagues and occasionally from customer service-type people, e.g. in a shop or on the phone.

I get worried that if I were to match tone or respond with sarcasm that I'll overdo it as I think that was an issue when I was much younger. So these days I let it slide but the result is feeling negative and like I should perhaps have some backbone and standards.

Tilt head to onside, raise a single eyebrow and enquire if they are having a bad day. Turn away before they answer with a slight smile on your lips.

Ask them to repeat it...
"Pardon?"
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Can you say that again?"

Tilt head to onside, raise a single eyebrow and enquire if they are having a bad day. Turn away before they answer with a slight smile on your lips.

This would work in many settings but not with your senior at work.

Depending on the context, raised eyebrow and death stare, adopt the same tone, or call them out on it. The latter is the most satisfying.

A beady stare and silence that drags on until they apologise or shuffle away.

Op never said it was a senior at work. Although it’s worked fine for me with senior management, as there is absolutely nothing for them to complain about - they would look pretty daft reporting it to HR. But if it was I would happily doctor their tea when I next had to make them one.

At work..
Patronising tone..
Are you feeling ok today?
Them, Yeah!!
Well you don't sound okay, you sound very snappy and rude.. Any reason for that?
Them, Sorry I didn't realise.

Response at home.. normally to DH or teenager.

Sort your bloody attitude out your being a condescending arsehole.

I wish I could say the second one at work!