How much do I push DS to be in the Nativity play?

[eightloves]

DS is in Reception. For full context, I have some suspicions of ASC but we're on a very long waiting list.

The first day of rehearsals he came home and had a massive meltdown about the whole thing, so I spoke to the teacher to let him sit out. She was lovely and said they'd play it by ear on the day.

He came home today very cross that he had to sit out.... I feel so embarrassed at the thought of asking the teacher to put him in again, and I definitely cannot take him out again. What is the best way to go about this?

I get the impression from DS (also Reception) that they are spending quite a lot of the day getting ready for nativity so I can see that a child would feel like they're missing out if they're not taking part. Can he take part in a way that doesn't matter if he doesn't actually perform on the day? I've tried to manage DS' teacher's expectations of what my DS will actually do on the day.

You ask the school to give him a role that doesn't matter if he does it or not.

It is only a nativity, so long as he doesn't stop anyone else doing their bits, it doesn't matter at all whether he is in or out.

Tell the teacher he feels ready to be involved, but ask if he can do something so if on the day he's too overwhelmed it won't matter.

There's usually lots in that sort of play where they can sit in or not as eg one of the shepherds or pressing the ipad for the music etc.

She did say they'd play it by ear, so I'm sure she'd be ready to listen.