Would you leave DS11 home alone?

[Mawface]

Hi, need some opinions on this.

DD2 caught a sickness bug from nursery last week so I had to pick her up/miss two days of work. Then I caught the bug and was off mon/Tuesday. I only get one family day which I've already used this year from DD being sent home and work term time so dont get annual leave. I'm going to probably lose 4 days wages as we don't get paid for child's sickness.

DS8 & DH also had the bug over the weekend and now DS11 has it. DH had to use the last of his annual leave 2 weeks ago because of ANOTHER sickness of DD.

Now, with DS11 being off school today DH had to leave work to pick him up and he's been sick a few times so won't be at school tomorrow.

With both of us having nobody to watch him would you leave DS11 home alone tomorrow? He's a very mature 11 y/o and would just be sat in his room watching TV. I leave just before 9 and DH comes home for lunch at 11.30 then I'd be home by 2.30.

I've left in for an hour or so before but just don't know if I feel comfortable leaving him for so long and with not being well. All opinions welcome.

And you’re the reason the bugs spread like this. There’s a 48 hour rule for good reason. I’m emetophobic and people like you cause me so much anxiety. Just have some consideration for others ffs.

@Kazzybingbong I’m a secondary teacher and my school doesn’t have a 48 hour rule - we ask for them back in asap. My children’s secondary school is the same. I’ve only ever seen the 48 hour rule imposed by primary schools. How many adults do you think have 48 hours off work after last being sick?

I'm an ex secondary teacher, all the schools I've worked in have 48 hours for students and teachers. It's the WHO guidelines.

I've worked in other places where they expect you to stay off for 48 hours. You don't suddenly become not contagious once you hit 11. Just because your school allows it, doesn't mean that they're doing the right thing. Because in this case, they are absolutely wrong.

No. I wouldn’t leave them alone if they are vomiting.

@SandyWaves

no it's not. If you haven't brought your NT child up to be able to be at home, by themselves, for a couple of hours you need to look at your parenting.

@Mawface I see DH will now be home. I think that's the best decision. If well, no problem, but if vomiting then no.

Doing good now thanks!

He's perfectly capable to being home alone himself for a couple of hrs it was just the sickness that I wasn't sure about but DH stayed home and he was perfectly fine.

Bit harsh, no? I was asking a question and looking for opinions..

Depends on how sick really. My DD is 12 and I'm at school myself this year so have had to leave her home alone ill for the whole day a few times already this term but she only had a sore throat and headache and was perfectly happy to stay home alone. If she was vomiting or was really feverish then I'd consider taking the day off school (I can't take too many days off or I won't pass so really need to reserve those days for when my 5 year old is ill as he can't stay home alone in any circumstance)

Junior school 11 year old, probably not

senior school 11 year old, yes, if they were on the recovery stage,

Its only a couple of hours.

I was ready to leave our just turned 12yo son home alone because of sickness, he’d stopped vomiting by the morning but a few weeks ago but ‘un’luckily my DH caught it too so had him home anyway. He’ll be fine as long as he’s stopped vomiting and knows how to contact either of you if needed.

If I need to look at my parenting because I refuse to put my CHILD in a potentially dangerous situation, then yes, perhaps you can come and give me some tips as to how your 11 year old would be able to tackle a grown burglar when he/she is confronted in their own home. And sadly in the world we live in, burglaries in the day do happen. Look it up.

Would you be able to tackle a grown burglar? Unlikely, yet I'm sure you stay home alone. Its ridiculous to base staying home alone on something even grown women can't do, when its an extremely unlikely situation (and you shouldn't be teaching them to try and tackle a burglar anyway, but to get out of the house to a safe neighbour and to call the police)

I don’t think the average 16 year old could tackle a burglar but that wouldn’t be a reason to never give them independence. These children could be on gap years travelling the world at 18. It’s a hell of a leap to that if they can’t stay in their own home for a few hours at 11/2.

Unwell - no

To add if well - 2.5 hours is at the top end of how long I'd leave my 11 yo for.

Tbh DS11 could probably take a burglar easier than me! Dh stayed home anyway and he wasn't sick at all so could have left no bother.

This is also mine, if he had a cold or any other minor illness were he wasn't vomiting I would have left him no problem.

11??? On his own all day? Really!!!!! PLUS hes ill. Absolutely not im and im suprised youve even considered doing this. Me and DH both work but sometimes have to take unpaid leave to be parents to our sick children

No read the op, he would be left 2.5hrs max at a time. I'm already on a warning for having so many absenses due to child sickness. I don't get annual leave and also don't get paid for it so sorry for trying not to lose my job.

It's not all day. It is 2.5 hours till one parent comes home for lunch then another 2.5 hours till the other parent comes home.

Sickness is possibly the only sickness I wouldn't leave at home alone. Colds, COVID etc I would.

How is DH and your sickness? Might be an idea

Perfectly fine and normal at that age for an 11 year old to be on their own. What age do you think is acceptable? They need to be able to handle being in their own once they hit secondary school, how else will they navigate the world if you're telling them they aren't safe enough to be left in their own home a few hours