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Please help me feel a little brighter about my future

1 reply

Strawberriesandpears · 23/11/2023 13:51

Hello everyone,

I was wondering if I could seek some advice please. I have been really struggling lately to see a positive future for myself, and I am hoping that some of you kind people on here might be able to help me a little!

I am female and will turn 37 years old early next year. I am an only child and have a recent boyfriend (been together about a year). He is lovely and I see us being together for a long time (forever hopefully!). We have some hobbies in common which makes spending time together extra nice! I am very lucky to have found him.

But I worry so much about our future. My boyfriend is an only child too, and because of this (and the fact that we are both in our mid-late 30s) I really don't imagine we will have children. It wouldn't feel fair to bring children (or especially an only child) into such a lonely family set up.

I am so worried that we are doomed to be lonely and alone (especially when we are older). I am also really worried about helping our parents as they age - we just don't have that wide support network that extended family provides.

On the plus side, financially we are well off. Not millionaires or anything like that, but a very good chunk of savings and I am mortgage free. In terms of our own old age, we would have the money to move to a retirement village or similar, I imagine, where we would have support and companionship.

I guess building friendships will be key in the absence of family. We can't go through life as just me and him - we'd be so vulnerable - especially if anything happened to one of us (even before old age - which I know is not promised).

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Are you / do you know another couple in a similar situation?

In terms of building a support network / more friends, my hobbies are art, design, photography, nature, wildlife, conservation and music. My boyfriend is similar, maybe minus the music.

Thank you in advance - it's causing me a lot of anxiety at the moment!

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 23/11/2023 13:52

I wouldn't rule out having children, plenty of people do in their late 30's early 40's. I would set my heart on it either though.

Give it another year and see where you are then.

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