Talk to me about owning a coffee shop

[feralunderclass]

This is all in my head theoretical. I'd love to open a coffee shop, with a sort of theme/inspiration of a city I love in the ME. It would have quite an extensive tea/coffee menu, but simple food/sweets that I'd buy locally. No cooking necessary I'd do that in my house in the evenings. My cat would be asleep in one of the chairs. I'd have beautiful reference books on a shelf for people to peruse. It wouldn't feel like work, because in between chatting to customers I'd sit and have a coffee myself and read.

Has anyone had a coffee shop, and what was it like?

Which ME city would it resemble?

That's so funny really. The idea of a coffee shop owner sitting and reading while at work and then cooking at night and being happy with that is just laughable. You could only do those things if hardly any customers came in. Have you been reading too many chick lit novels?

Why is there a cat hair in my chocolate brownie?

So I've known a fair few coffee shop owners and know some of the behind the scenes stuff. Most of them are unhappy and struggle to make a living. The pleasant interactions they gave to keep up so that customers return. It's not as great as it looks.

I've managed cafes and it is not at all what you describe, unless you can afford to run a loss making hobby business? The hours are brutal- long days every day. Consider that you need a decent chunk of time to set up and clean down either end of opening hours. Margins are tight and waste can be high, you will always have waste. Coffee machines are unreliable and need fixing by engineers fairly regularly. Customers can be lovely but can also be annoying, rude or creepy. People will take up seats without paying for anything for long periods. You'll have to clean the toilet several times a day. I would still love my own cafe but there's not a chance you should take this step before working in one.

That's so far from realistic it's stupid 😂😂

Are you very rich op and you can afford to run this imaginary coffee shop as a hobby?

You would be on your feet all day cleaning up other people's mess and will not want to spend your evenings cooking.

You will spend the day washing up and dealing with unreasonable customers.

Customers will steal from you and you will have to clean a toilet used by loads of random people.

I would avoid a cafe with a random cat. I have allergies.

Half of those beautiful reference books will have disappeared by the end of the first week!

And do you really want people eating cake with their fingers and then touching those beautiful books?

My imaginery coffee shop runs like yours OP except mine is also a second hand book shop. No one steals the books or spills crumbs on them. They buy them with their cuppa or peruse a few "library" copies of books, eat cake, the lighting is low at one end and there's a crèche style space at the other where the kids play nicely. Upstairs of for comics and games nights. We open late on a weekend and some dude with a guitar plays whilst the guests spend lots of money.

But in my fantasy, I'm a millionaire and not bothered about a profit. I have a manager who runs it full time and I done in to work when it suits me. I'm not spending my evenings baking.

Sometimes we had an added on pizza shop with no menu.
Always it's by the sea or a river.
It even has a name.

Unfortunately the cat would go against virtually every health and safety reg going.

Here's what I know from my boss who owns a few cafes/ bars and having worked in some myself:

Your dishwasher would be on permanently.

If you sell anything chilled you need to be taking and recording temps a few times a day because this is a legal requirement. There are a lot of rules around storage etc of food, unless you are selling pre packaged stuff with a load of preservatives in.

You have no control over who comes in , and even in a quite 'naice' part of town you will have people sitting for hours nursing one cup of coffee/ using your electric for their laptops. It can be awkward to move them on when you need the seats for customers who want to spend actual money.

You may have homeless people in begging from your customers. This particular problem is the name of our lives in London.

You will need staff, unless you plan to run it yourself and not take holidays. Or operate very short working hours. This reduces your ( already small) profit. You will need to pay their tax, national insurance, holidays and sick pay.

I'd you have loos, be prepared that everyone and their wife will want to come in and use them without necessarily buying anything. And that you will have to clean them.

Cafes make very little money. You have to sell A LOT of tea and coffee to turn a profit.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer. I'd keep it as a lovely fantasy

• bane of our lives.

Never owned one but worked in them for a decade.
It was more making drinks, moving hundreds (!) of litres-worth of milk deliveries every morning, cleaning the loo, checking all the dates on everything, trying to find staff to cover a shift because one was ill, cleaning, making drinks, cleaning up milk that had leaked inside the fridge, making sure staff are processing stock correctly, praying the pot wash doesn't break down, cleaning the loo, eating lunch while keeping an eye on the queue, counting stock (every single teabag!), cleaning some more... add to it the looming pressure of hitting sales targets so you break even, let alone make a profit.
The nice bits were good customers, an easy close and laughs with coworkers.

I love a coffee-bookshop myself soooooo much, but would I want to be gifted one to run? No bloody way.

Im not sure if you are asking for real or just sharing a lovely fantasy , but if it’s the former

The world does not need another coffee shop. Even quirky independent ones are ten a penny now.
You are never more than six feet away from a Costa!
You are not in control of the atmosphere. Can you and your cat cope with the noise that customers bring?
Can you cope with vilification on Tripadvisor?

Aww I love this, perhaps we should collaborate?
To answer a few questions, money is no object. I will not be working full time here, just spending time if/when I feel like it. My demograph will be the MN type, neurotic about cleanliness so no need to worry about dirty fingers on my lovely books. They also don't go to the toilet in public, so the only toilet will be mine. The decor will be Arab inspired, with some Turkish and Moroccan splashes. The crockery will be dainty, hand painted tea glasses. There will be beautiful souvenirs on shelves that I've picked up on my travels. Nobody would even dare to touch them, but will ask me questions about them and we can discuss our travels.

"do you sell that coffee that a cat has pooped out...?" X 10 a day.

No, I don't know what wrong with bored men, either.

My customers would know what this type of coffee was called. But I won't be serving anything like that, or having industrial machines. It will be Arabic or Turkish coffee, boiled over a little coal burner thing in those lovely little pots.

Have you read The Authenticity Project?
It's sounds straight out of the book.
It's a gorgeous idea but completely unrealistic I'm afraid.

What - no Americano with semi-skimmed milk? It's a no from me then although I might pop in to stroke the cat and pinch some of your Turkish Delight
😂

@feralunderclass i love how deep and further you're digging into this fantasy 😁 If i win big on the lottery i'll ask the MN overlords to track you down and pass on the start up funds😂

I've worked in a café and the main issue is that around 10% of people are horrible, rude and entitled. Yes, 90% of people are nice or at least inoffensive. You're probably one of them, so you haven't thought about the 10%.

But they will come in your café and ruin your day.

Best to stick to visiting cafés imo.

I would love this imaginary well staffed cafe as well with books and knitting groups and dog friendly so plenty of people popping in with their dog for a chat.

No, haven't heard of it, will check it out though and might put it on the shop bookshelf.

Yes please do, I'm on benefits so will need funding.

@Esgaroth I cannot imagine that any of my customers would be rude or offensive. @Rocksonabeach its possible that I might have a mezzanine area for crafting workshops. Cross stitch, decoupage, glass blowing,stain glass window making. Definitely no dogs, that is one reason I hate high street shops, bloody dogs jumping all over the furniture and drooling over tables 🤢. Cats in carriers are welcome though.

An old school friend opened a cafe last year. The food looked lovely in pictures, very generous portions. Unfortunately it’s already closed because they couldn’t afford to keep it going.