Opinions on going full time

[HTruffle]

Any opinions on the following situation would be very gratefully received as I am finding myself pondering this endlessly and rather than heading towards a solution, wrapping myself up in further knots!

I currently work part time 12 or 18 hours (alternate weeks) in a job I enjoy. It's reasonably well paid but shifts are not guaranteed (NHS Bank). An opportunity has come up for a full time position, several bands higher, much more responsibility.

I think I would find both jobs interesting but the current one has less responsibility therefore probably slightly easier albeit still need to bring your a-game.

The money from the other job would be fantastic; my husband is very keen on me going for it to increase our income. We currently manage but more would be nice.

However, how on earth do you do 'everything'? My DH is helpful to a point but simply doesn't see what needs doing; he will do things in a frantic hurry, no planning ahead and while a great Dad and lovely to be around I can think of about a million things that would still fall to me, not least, organising childcare, pick ups, appointments, miscellaneous kids' stuff, sports, laundry, food shops, keeping our house looking liveable.

The second issue I have is that I simply don't feel I have the space in my head for the increased level of work. I feel capable, but like my brain is just so full I couldn't imagine taking on a whole new (senior) role. DC are 8 and 6.

Can anyone relate? What do I do?!?!?!?!?

If you went full time, could you afford a cleaner regularly? If you didn’t have think about housework so much, would it help?

A regular online shop, send some things to the laundry, have shared lists and get the children involved with small things.

You'll have much more money coming in (18h pw is very part time in comparison) so you'll be able to throw money at problems. That could include having some babysitters you could contact for ferrying the kids to activities sometimes, a weekly or twice weekly cleaner, online shopping, more deliveroo meals etc.

It's different for everyone but I personally prefer having more money for these options, even if I have less free time.

I know what you mean about the full brain feeling but having more money to use for stuff makes that feeling much easier. If you've lost or forgotten a thing, you can buy a replacement etc

Ps also your kids will be 15 and 13 before you know it, and you might be glad by then to have this job, as they won't need you constantly in the same way, but might cost more

It depends on the job TBH.

I've worked full time since my kids were 3 and 5. I did a job that was mega stressful, lots of time on stressful phone calls, worked out of the home and it was awful. I now work at home, in a job that is still busy but less stressful and it's easier. I'm now single too so do everything in my home alone.

You need to be realistic about your expectations and what you can achieve. You're not going to be able to do everything you did when you were part time. There are some things you can't be there for and can't do. My kids don't do any extra curriculars on a weekday etc. Sometimes tea needs to be quick etc. My house isn't too messy but then it's been cleaner since DH left!

I increased my hours (from very part time to almost full time time) only once my youngest went to secondary. I think if you can afford it, I'd hold off until then. At 6 and 8 they still need a lot of support and the youngest would get tired with long days in wraparound care. Mine did the 11+ too which needed hours of hands-on support, and they did extracurricular activities which they'd have missed out on if I couldn't ferry them about.

When they are in secondary they will get themselves to school, let themselves in, can prepare simple meals and do homework unsupervised. So things got far easier and I could focus fully on my job.

If you need the income then you'll manage regardless but it's a lot of stress otherwise, and you can end up outsourcing so much stuff that the increased income isn't all that much effectively.

Thanks all, it’s really tough as the extra money would be so great and as you say we could throw money at various things to make life a bit easier, but I feel like it’s choosing between having either the money or the time.

What I really don’t want is for it to negatively impact the kids when I don’t have to do that if you see what I mean. Life feels frantic as it is and I don’t know how I would possibly introduce so many more working hours.