How to stop shift worker DH waking the whole house?

[YukoandHiro]

I've just been up from 1.30 to 4am resettling the kids (6 and 3) who both have coughs. As often happens they woke about 15 mins after my DH got into bed - he comes back late after shift work.
He's not noisy and he does everything he can to minimise impact eg not turning on lights and not flushing the toilet for a pee but the kids are light sleepers and this happens regularly. Obvs I get up as he's just got into bed and usually I've had a few hours but it's destroying my sanity and it's not good for the kids sleep.
I don't know what to suggest. It's not fair to make him sleep on the sofa. We have a spare room but it's right n ext to the kids rooms so I don't think that would help.
Has anyone got any bright ideas j haven't thought of?

Oh I feel you! If DH is being super quiet then I found it was more a problem with sleep training the kids. Them being sick is always a nightmare for your sleep patterns and usually means going back ten steps with them staying in their beds. Is there a time with shifts where DH can watch them while you catch forty winks? Ours did learn to stay in bed eventually by me minimising communication when I was resettling them but it was a sleep deprived time! Good luck x

Coughs are a menace anyway.
It's possibly more so the illness.

I wonder if white noise in the kids room might help drown out the slight sounds DH makes coming home?

Could he sleep downstairs and come up once the kids are getting ready for nursery/school? Not a long term fix but just while they are unwell.

I second white noise in the children's bedrooms! My son is a really light sleeper and we've put a white noise box in his room. Nothing disturbs him now.

Have you tried white noise in their room? I use that as found they would wake one another up when getting up in the morning or using the toilet

I was going yo suggest white noise too. Or even an audio book constantly playing at a low level - anything to mask small sounds?

I agree with everyone saying a white noise machine. Your DH needs to be able to move around and go to bed after work!

White noise!
I am a really light sleeper and when dh comes to bed after me he always wakes me and I struggle to go back to sleep. I realised that in summer I slept so much better when it was warm and I had the fan on, So I tried a white noise playlist on Spotify and it did the trick!

Get the kids used to white noise while they sleep (or audiobooks etc) so that it covers the sound of him coming home.

6 and 3? Tell them it’s unacceptable to be waking you up in the night and if they hear Daddy they must go back to sleep. If they wake you they will be punished! How will they know this is not acceptable if you don’t ever tell them clearly or communicate that it is a problem?
Bribe if necessary if you get a full nights sleep. Stick to it.
They aren’t babies and this is actually poor behaviour if your DH is actually quiet!

Punish? They're not screaming the house down, they both have bad coughs that once they were awake were keeping them and everyone else awake too. The point was that my DH can disturb them even without meaning to. The 6 year old resettles fine normally, but i hear her moving around trying to get back to sleep and I don't think it's good for her sleep to be interrupted like that.

Also, I don't agree that any child should be punished for seeking the support of a parent in the night if they need it. Even a teen if for emotional reasons. So, we disagree there. Every

*every family is different

Thanks I'll try white noise. We haven't used that since the baby months but definitely worth a try

I know a lot of people that recommend white noise machines for their children.

White or pink noise will be your saviour- trust me!!
It will take a bit of getting used to over a few days slowly making it louder each night but honestly you’ll wonder how on earth you ever survived before without it!

The glow dreaming sleep aids are great as they come with a built in humidifier which also helps with coughs and colds as you can add vapours etc to it too. They also have a night light too so cover all bases. They’re not cheap but they’re honestly worth every penny.

Use this link and you’ll get 10% off

https://glowdreaminguk.refr.cc/katherinecasey

your door left open and kids door left shut

I'm the youngest of 7. Never had a quiet home. My mum put the radio on in my room so I'm guessing white noise will help.

Only thing is now I'm 52 is that I can't sleep when it's quiet 😂

We already do this...

Ughhh another night of the same although the stupid coughs are the problem now.

Actually my little one is struggling with viral wheeze so I will get no sleep at all tonight monitoring her and back to the GP tomorrow.

I'm so exhausted and hollowed out. This winter hasn't been good to us

I know it sounds like an old wives tale OP but have you tried the Vicks on their feet trick for nighttime coughing? I was very surprised to find it actually works for DD, massively reduced coughing which meant we all got more sleep.