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Odd School Mum - Perspective Pla

2 replies

tomtom88 · 21/11/2023 18:37

Have not posted on AIBU to avoid being flamed really just after perspective the issue mirrors a similar thread on AIBU

Here goes ...moved to a new are DC started in yr3 in a small primary with a tiny catchment which meant most of the parents knew each other not only from starting school from reception but also because they live or lived at some point in close proximity to each other

All seemed ok at first but since last summer something changed not sure if the novelty of us being new wore off or if myself or DD accidentally offended anyone. But there was definitely a change.

Fair enough but one of the more dominant mums who was initially very nice and welcoming has been very off with me any time i see her in a group she makes a big point of implying she is going or has been. out with these other mums and their kids knowing very well me and my daughter have not been invited. At no point does she (or the other mums) say oh would you and your DD like to come.

She has done the same thing on many occasion's now. I do think its deliberate. The other mums who must also be part of this group that we are not part of never ever mention anything and no one other than her looks very comfortable when she starts with this.

Ridiculous but feel sad about it we are new to this area and its being made very clear neither myself nor my daughter will be part of the social gatherings. I have held a party to which their kids where invited and came and hosted play dates with their kids etc none of which were returned chat at the school gates happily.

Appreciate people have existing friendships groups but feel annoyed by this particular woman's insensitivity and let down a bit by some of the nice mums who are obviously attending this stuff and never think to extend an invite to myself and my DD.

Pls be kind. Stuff happens. It will be fine. I am not over dramatising it. Just finding it odd and weirdly upsetting.

Any thoughts

OP posts:
blackfluffycat · 21/11/2023 18:42

People will say they aren't your friends. Dd is there to learn and that's it. Drop and go. Don't engage. However school is your child's life. It's all based on friendships and parties and get together. Does dd have any particular close friends you could invite over?

Strange how they were once welcoming? I mean you could ask if anything it wrong but in my experience they will just say no even if there was. Crap primary school politics. Been there x

tomtom88 · 21/11/2023 18:55

Thanks blackfluffycat

Yes dropping and going sounds like a plan

Its hard because my DD would consider these children her friends. In fact we had a very awkward encounter when DD said oh Milly (DD of the dominant mum) has said she wants to go trick or treating with me ..... i said oh ok. This more dominant mum made a point at pick up to mention that of that they were having a gathering said very much in front of me - but offered no invite to my DD . Then my DD insisted on trick or treating and we saw them all a big group of them i was mortified luckily DD didn't catch on.

Difficulty as well is the school have events etc and its really just put me off attending any of the events in case we bump into yet another large gathering we were not invited to.

My DD is a very quiet girl and I worry she wilm start to become more aware etc

OP posts:
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