Social Event with Frenemy - Tips

[Acunningruse]

We will both be at a mutual friends big birthday this weekend. Frenemy is so-called as has the appearance of being super-sweet in front of others but lots of "jellyfish stings" that seem to go unnoticed by others. One of those people where you come home feeling worse about yourself and your life choices than before you went. Sadly cannot avoid her at this upcoming event as we are both part of a big group who once shared a hobby hence invitations. DH coming too and will have my back but any tips?

Ouch that’s tough as my first thought was don’t go - jelly fish are rough!

try to concentrate on your friend and distance yourself do not bite and try an eyebrow lift instead!!

I know it's easier said than done but don't let her have that power over you. If she makes a shitty comment just reply with 'that's nice dear' and move on. Keep your distance from her nasty little tentacles.

Bitchy bingo is your friend. Draw up a bingo card of the things she likes to needle about and mark them off as you go. I used to do it when FIL was awful and it takes all the sting out as you are mentally fist pumping at another thing crossed off instead of taking it to heart.

Either rise above it and ignore anything nasty or confront her. I'm not very tactful so probably would have told her to fuck off already, but two or three cutting phrases that you can wheel out if she starts should do it. You can practise saying them before hand so they roll off the tongue.

Can you tell her some tall tales about how you're doing now and treat yourself to a laugh when she responds in her usual manner?

"Late uncle has left us his boat so we're planning on a trip round the Norwegian fjords in the spring. It's going to be cold so I'm knitting some yak wool sweaters" sort of thing.

Good tips to make her feel awkward is to ask her to repeat herself if she says something snide. Do it each time. Especially if in a group.

Another tip if she says something snide is to ask whether she meant to be rude.

Maybe do both at the same time. Ask your husband to do it too. Make it a game. Maybe she will eventually stop because she will start to look silly. Good luck!

Yep just ignore her and rise above it.

I second ‘Bitchy Bingo’.

Hopefully there will be lots of people there so avoid her. Break into dance if you have to shimmy away from her

Laugh and say "damn, you're good at the back handed compliments, aren't you? Been practising?" And then walk away.

Thanks everyone. Deep breaths needed- and not too much