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Colleague/friend repeats everything that I say said back to me

16 replies

hgfdfgh44 · 21/11/2023 13:58

I have a new colleague who I have become friends with. She is great, however I'm just curious about something I've observed that she does in every conversation.

She will repeat back what is said to her, as if it was her idea. It makes it difficult to have a proper conversation, and she often interrupts to start repeating what I'm/someone else is saying before we've finished our point.

An example was in a meeting this morning, it went something like:
Me: For the project, I was thinking we should do x,y,z and-
Her: Should do x, y, z. Yes exactly, I was thinking for the project we do x, y, z

It's constant, and even when she is asking our manager a question she will interrupt the answer to start repeating it back as if it was her suggestion to start with.

Does anyone have any idea on what this is and if it's common? I've never come across it, the only similar thing I can compare it too is when you get excited about something and interrupt someone to finish their sentence, but that is usually a one-off with someone you're close to, rather than a constant way of responding in conversations in a professional context.

OP posts:
JulesAnn1996 · 18/04/2024 04:28

I am here because I’m experiencing the same with a colleague. I’m curious if it’s ocd, echolalia, a learning technique, a habit- I just don’t really know. It’s very pronounced recently so I’m very interested to know the answer.

echt · 18/04/2024 04:49

First of all I thought the colleague might think they were Harry, Ron or Hermione in one of the early Harry Potter films. My next thought is they won't last five minutes interrupting the manager, never mind re-casting it as their own idea.
It's weird, anyway.

Lougle · 18/04/2024 04:54

I have experienced it. I know someone who asks a question, and no matter the response, says 'That's exactly what I was going to say/ was thinking/ had decided to do.'

I think it's a lack of confidence/desire to be accepted.

Brie2001 · 18/04/2024 04:56

Sounds like Louis Walsh on CBB.

Josette77 · 18/04/2024 04:57

I have a friend who does this and he's on the spectrum.

He's not trying to take credit it's like his stimming through repeating words. It kind of looks like he's just talking over people though. He's really just trying to listen extra closely.

Plus he's really smart so I suspect his brain is miles ahead of his mouth and he's trying to slow it all down.

whatisforteamum · 18/04/2024 05:05

Came on to say echolalia.
Reading about autism this sounds like a way to assimilate information.

olympicsrock · 18/04/2024 05:10

Sounds like autism +- adhd

BoomBoom70 · 18/04/2024 05:23

It sounds like something people say when they have done cognitive coaching. Repeat back to clarify you’ve understood correctly. But it can be maddening if done like this. Good luck 😉

moleeye · 18/04/2024 05:47

Hate this

I've now started passive aggressively responding "thank you for validating me" or "glad you're in agreement, thank you for validating my approach"

Rinse and repeat. Grrrrrrr

NothankyouNigel · 18/04/2024 06:19

I have something a bit similar to this with a colleague but - sorry to say - I think it’s because she doesn’t have an original thought or idea of her own rather than some sort of neurodiversity or echolalia.

It’s excruciating when she repeats what I’ve said in a meeting as if it’s something entirely new and original. She copies everything ( from content in email signature to plagiarising ) and unlike a PP above she is trying to take credit for it. I may need to try a pa response as above!

sarahc336 · 18/04/2024 06:24

Autism or social anxiety maybe and it's a learnt response to manage a social interaction ? Or I think people just generally anxious can just fall into this habit or trying to seem agreeable and please others, make them sound interested etc. it's annoying though isn't it

BlueRidgeMountain · 18/04/2024 06:24

My autistic DS does this, and for him it helps him process information. It’s not constant, but usually with new or complex concepts. I also think he does it to show he’s listening which is difficult as he also has ADHD, and struggles with focus.

GoodVibesHere · 18/04/2024 06:24

I do it a bit myself out of nervousness, lack of confidence, it's like I'm reassuring myself and checking what I've heard. It helps me to process the information. I hate that I do it and I try hard not to. I don't do it anywhere near as much as your colleague does.

ItsHitTheFanNow · 18/04/2024 06:26

I was also going to say echolalia/autism.

GreenSmithing · 18/04/2024 06:31

The two people I knew who did this were extroverted but had social anxiety. The extraversion meant they tended to vocalise their thoughts and want to speak, but their anxiety meant they didn't know what the 'right' thing to say was/felt anxious about not saying anything. As a result they just repeated me, or anyone else they were talking to.

I also had a colleague who passed my ideas off as his own, but that felt rather different and more calculated.With the anxious people it seemed like they felt compelled to say something- anything. With him, my words would reappear from his mouth verbatim and unattributed, days or weeks later.

FawnFrenchieMum · 18/04/2024 06:35

My DS can do this sometimes he has ASD and ADHD, I think it’s his way of processing the information. He has a slow working memory and think this helps a) remember what you said and b) work out what needs to happen.

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