What is my attachment style? I honestly can't work out what it is

[Carrotcake90]

So I'm hearing all about attachment styles and decided to look into it but can't find one that quite matches me .
So I basically am quite indifferent when I'm dating , I prefer the guy to always text first and be the one to suggest meeting up. This is how I know they are interested and this is when I feel comfortable. It's like I don't like to show them I like them.
Sometimes it is because I generally am indifferent toward them and not bothered but it can also be because I don't like telling them how I really feel (if I like them)
I can also be quite ruthless, like if I don't hear from them for a few days or they ignore a text, I will then just delete their number, I'm definitely not going to contact them again.
What would you say is my attachment style?
I had a good upbringing and both parents were together, with no trauma so I don't know why I'm like this with men. I'm also a bit like this with female friends as well.

why do you want a label?

sounds to me like like you simply have not met anyone that you really really like, fancy and possibly see a future with.

I was pretty 🤷‍♀️ until… i met my DH

you were very bothered about the ending of your relationship in your thread last week?

@idealgift Yes but I didn't show him that and I never contacted him

avoidant?

This sounds more like either you’re lukewarm about or don’t really have much confidence in the people you have around you (how do you tend to make your friends? Have the friendships run their course perhaps?) or classic game playing / playing hard to get. Which isn’t very grown up and may well end up backfiring: everyone likes to feel wanted, desired, and as though somebody is interested in them, make or female, whatever their so-called “attachment style” and gets fed up of having to be the one to make all the moves.

As an aside, I thought “attachment styles” was fairly Westocentric pseudoscientific bunkum partially based on bad research done in Romanian orphanages decades ago which clearly isn’t applicable to the vast majority of the millions of babies born across the globe every year, who are all patented in accordance with differing cultural values.

@ComtesseDeSpair thanks, I think I play hard to get or like I'm constantly testing how much they like me and the only way to know this is if they get in touch first. I even do this with people I'm really into.
Didn't realize that is where the attachment theory came from, from orphanage etc, I see how that wouldn't apply to a lot of people now

Attachment styles was devised/observed by a team of psychologists, but not in Romanian orphanages- it originated in the 50&60s, observing mothers and babies among other things.
It is not total bunkum, but is a theory. It is not provable and is useful in so far as it can help you to understand your self and others. If it isn't something that resonates with you then so be it, others find it useful.
But also, the theory holds that we have different 'styles' with different people/categories of people. Eg men, women, old young etc.

Op, if you are interested in attachment theory I suggest you read a psychology or psychotherapy book about it rather than an article or two to fully understand.
I am fairly ambivalent about the concept myself