take redundancy or stay put?

[Iamblocked2]

I need some thought...

I work part time in a very flexible role. We have teen who needs 24/7 care and supervision. no access to childcare (older teen) in any shape or form - nothing in school hols, no wrap around.

I have a DH. He leaves all childcare to me as I work part time and have the flexible role.

work are restructuring and offer very generous voluntary redundancy packages. They would be in the region of 20k for me as I have been working there for a long time. My part time salary is 15k.

DH wants me to take redundancy and get a new job elsewhere. I want to stay as I know it can be really hard to find a role that allows me flexible working around all school runs and the school hols. I just don't think I would find another job easily another job with my limitations. we keep arguing about it.

I should say we do not have joint finances (this is a different thread). I am worried what would happen if I cannot find another job within a few months... he pays the rent but other bills are shared between us. the redundancy package would keep me afloat for a while but the idea is to use it as savings for rainy days. DC is on DLA and if I leave work, I would quality for carers allowance. We wouldn't qualify for UC though.

Worth mentioning that I am not very happy in my workplace and have not been in a long time...

what should I do? take the money and hope for the best or stay put and play it save. I am extremely risk averse.

I’d take the redundancy. You are unhappy at work. Get applying, you would find something surely in a year? I would tell him that you’ll take it on the proviso that the next job may not be as flexible so he may need to do his but. If he’s unwilling to do so, stay (presumably your teen has some additional needs, so he helps in some form?)

Take the money. Do you live in private rented? That could be a deposit for a mortgage if you wanted security or a great nest egg for the future

The job market seems to be tight at the moment but if you are really unhappy then go for it. Free money. Maybe do a course and look for work; you can study from home. I worry that you will end up stuck home alone though, is there anything you can do to ensure that doesnt happen?

What’s your area of work like? I was leaning to staying put until you said you don’t like your job, life is too short for that especially when you have other demands on you - work should be a space where you can breathe a bit.

I’d have a proper discussion with your DH in terms of what he expects if you do take redundancy. Will he see your redundancy package as being a windfall or “family money”, will he expect you to use it to fund your half of household costs, or will he cover household costs while you look for a new job? Is he expecting you to do all caregiving and household tasks “because you’re not working”, will he support you if a new job is less flexible?

I’d be worried the redundancy package would end up being whittled away while you were caught up in full time caring duties.

In saying that, it’s a very good package that could give you choices, so I wouldn’t dismiss it off hand. What’s recruitment like in your area of work? I know I could quite easily find something part time and flexible because there’s a huge shortage of people who do my job, so in your shoes I’d take the money and run.

I would take the money.
20k redundancy (tax free) is well over a years salary for you (tax free I assume), giving you plenty of time to find something else.
The other thing to remember is that when organisations do a voluntary redundancy run it is often the first in set of them, and it's not unknown for the redundancy terms to become less favourable in later runs.

Errrrr why are you asking about your job when you have a massive DH problem? He leaves all childcare to you and you don't have joint finances?

You can't give up your job, you'll be too vulnerable to this selfish man. Keep your job and address the imbalance in your relationship

@icelollycraving Thanks, teen has complex SN. should have made that clearer. DH does do stuff with them at the weekend but is not willing to let caring get in the way of work. it's all on me. DH's work isn't suitable for WFH. maybe needs to be added too. I became over the years the default carer.

please don't think it'll be easy to find a new job, otherwise the company wouldn't be offering just large redundancy packages.. it's harder than eer and even though you may see quite a few jobs out there, i wouldn't change jobs now unless i had to. if you decide to change jobs, then your "d"h needs to change the financial situation. trust your instinct. you can run down your redundancy package just on job hunting and being stressed and end up in a worse situation.

You can't give up your job, you'll be too vulnerable to this selfish man. Keep your job and address the imbalance in your relationship

that is one of the worries but then it's a lot of money (for me at least).

I work in basic office admin roles. But I need roles where I can work in school hours to facilitate the school run and caring and where I am off in the school hols or can work fully remotely. Any other working pattern won't work and jobs like that are just not easy to find.

I have no special qualifications or skills.

Take the money.
If the restructuring doesn't work, the next round of redundancies will not be anything like as generous.

I think when you’ve worked in the same place for a long time, and they accommodate your needs, it’s easy to think no one else will come and go but since Covid employers are tending to be more flexible. Set clear expectations for your DH around what happens with the money (and don’t budge), and see what else is out there.

Hi OP, I wouldn’t take it at this stage of your life if your current employment is flexible, the pay and benefits are good in proportion to your PT hours.

i was offered it many times through my career, big corporate, and I never took it as the WFH, flexi time, pay and pension were too good, and I would have had to put a lot of years in elsewhere to match them.

At 57, when my pension was banked and the mortgage was paid off, only then did I sign up.

A number of the people who left before me through the years never made back what they lost in pay and benefits and the redundancy was long gone.

Surprised so many people are saying take the money. No way would I give up a job that fitted in with those specific needs with nothing to take its place except careers allowance. It'd be different with a supportive DH and shared finances but this guy does not have OP's back and she'll be up shit creek without a job or with a job that doesn't fit around DCs care needs. 20k is not that much, especially when it sounds like he's got plans for it if he's pushing for her to take redundancy. Look out for yourself and your son OP. Your concerns are very valid.

It sounds like your DH has plans for the 20K or is expecting it to land in savings rather than you being able to live on it while job hunting.

Given you'll get carers allowance I'd take redundancy but put that money in a ring fenced account away from your husband for now. It's family money fair enough but you'll be left with even fewer options if it's spent immediately.

I would agree to the redundancy if the family finances become shared.

If you don’t want to take the redundancy just tell him you missed the boat and it’s no longer on offer.

Or take the redundancy and keep the money in your account to live on until you find another job. This gives you a year to find something.

Or use the payment to build a patio.

Use this as your chance to get your DH to step up more. Yes you can take the redundancy money, but he has to agree before you do that to help if your new role isn't as flexible. I'd take the money though - you don't like it and the next round of cuts won't be as generous.

How much notice do you get if you agree to the redundancy?

As you state you are unhappy in your job, I would take it and start really looking now. Life is too short to be doing something that makes you miserable 5 days a week, plus you have other issues!

It's a good time to be searching for school roles as people will be handing in notices now to finish at Christmas

It's also a catalyst to have that conversation with your H to make sure he will be supportive during transition

I know it's another thread but that elephant isn't leaving the room...

Take the money.

Because there is no guarantee that if you stay the company won't make more redundancies in a few months and will likely then offer a much less generous package.

People are assuming in their comments that there is a choice to just carry on in the current role long term, but if the business has to make redundancies it is a sign that it is not doing great and there might be no real security in staying...

How easy will it be to replace that flexibility in the next work place? It sounds to me like it would be too risky for you if your husband will not change his way of working/paying.

Such a different one. We’re in a similar boat as we have two kids with complex needs, both in a specialist school but no holiday or after school care options. I need to work term time only and ideally at home. My DH is the breadwinner so although works from home sometimes the caring falls to me as he’s got a “big job”.

Jobs with flexibility seem to be hard to find. When do you need to let them know yes or no? I’d start looking to see what’s around. I don’t particularly like my job but am sticking it out as there’s very limited options that meet my specific needs.

On another note no joint finances is a concern especially as you’ve made the most career sacrifices. DH and I have one account and all funds go in there.

It's a good time to be searching for school roles as people will be handing in notices now to finish at Christmas

school roles won't work for me due to school runs. I can only do 9:30-10 onwards depending on commute and need to be out by 2/2:30 again. school roles dont come along with these hours generally. Have tried this route before.

Personally I wouldn't take it (yet)

Agree your DH (dickhead not dear husband) sounds like he has designs on the £££ which would concern me.

Your job sounds like it works very well and you need to look out for your own interests as your DH isn't working with you as a team.

I'd look around at another roles (now now) and see what is available. If you can find say 20 commutable jobs that tick the boxes of your skills Vs what they need then I'd be inclined to consider persuing redundancy.
If you can only find 1 or 2 i'd be much less inclined...

Personally unless you really can't stand to work there, I'd stay put.

20k may sound tempting but you can't put a price on the flexibility you have and it might be hard to find something that allows you the time you need

Of course this also depends on whether your DH will realistically step up and start participating in childcare if you do find another job

If flexibility, part time and time off in school holidays is non negotiable then I'd think very carefully about moving, unless you're so unhappy there that you're likely to leave within the next 2 years.