Decluttering when your children leave home - would you bother?

[Onedayatatime1]

I’m interested in views really, I’m a single parent with children who have left or are soon to be leaving home. In the last couple of years I’ve made a huge effort to declutter the family home. All those furniture and decor ‘heirlooms’ from my parents, children’s toys and books, my clothes, collections and ‘special’ items that were stored in cupboards, the garage and loft my have all been assessed and other than some agreed keepsakes have gone. Years worth of paperwork dumped and just essentials left. I guess I’ve done it because there is no-one to share the responsibility so otherwise the burden would one day fall to my children. However my friends think I’m crazy as ‘we are only in our late fifties’ and in any case they just assume their partner or children will do it after they’ve gone. I now feel like maybe it wasn’t so important and I should not have bothered. What do you think?

I’m in my thirties with primary aged kids and declutter all the time. I hate clutter!

Absolutely right to do it, the mental space of having "less" is liberating.

Your friends opinion is immaterial... do you feel better having done it? That is all that matters!

Do it as you go along definitely, good for you and good for whomever has to clear it out when you're gone, I'm sure they'll thank you!

I’ve majorly decluttered between 40 and 45 years old. It’s not about leaving less for others to sort out, it’s about freeing up my time day to day (less cleaning and tidying) and less mental clutter.

Your age is irrelevant-if you feel the time is right to have a big de-clutter then it is the right time.

As a pp said it is so liberating not having as much 'stuff'

The friends are crazy for thinking they should leave a hoard for someone else to clean up.

My mother did this to us when she passed and left a big f hoarding mess for her children and grandchildren to clean up and I swear I would never ever do this to them so I have decluttered to leave behind the bare minimum.

I love a good declutter. As long as the adult children had a chance to grab anything they wanted (especially where heirlooms are concerned) I say enjoy the space and peace!

I am doing that now in my own home, because my parents never did it so I am also clearing their house full of 80+ years' worth of stuff, as well as things they inherited or rescued from when their parents downsized.

I have promised not to inflict the same thing on my children.

I read The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning a few years ago, and I really wish my parents had done that.

My mum has declutter Ed with this in mind and the house is literally just a shell. Every few weeks she thinks of something she wishes she hadn’t got rid of but that she did after my dad died and it’s just awful! She was always like that though, something would be gone to a charity shop if you didn’t reiterate over and over again that you liked it and I didn’t think that through! (She’s still a legend though!!) So much stuff I wish I’d taken before it went, so would just warn people to think of your kids before you declutter too much- I literally have a few projects and bits I kept from school- everything else went

You'll be doing them a favour for the future, and the mental space after a declutter is wonderful.

I plan to do the same thing (though am also doing it all the time already!) Partly because we will downsize when the kids leave home. Am always slightly surprised by the number of people who don't plan to downsize - for us, it's partly about releasing equity for retirement and partly about just not wanting to maintain a family home when we're old

We had a bid declutter kids were still at high school
honestly housework took a third of the time

Yes I gave the stuff away now rather than waited until after I croak

Wish I could but DH refuses to throw out all his old business records from 15 -20 years ago...

Are you planning to downsize? If yes declutter easier to sell the house and less to move. If not organise the rooms you have probably can be less ruthless. I did check with my older child before declutter some sports stuff and asked her several times and she said yes and 3 months later wanted some of it!

You are v lucky to not be married to a hoarder. I’m hoping that DH will learn the value of decluttering when his parents who are hoarders leave him and his sister an almighty mess to sort out. They go through stages of decluttering where they try and declutter it into the house, some has got as far as the garage none enters the house….

It's not like he could do anything if you did toss the rubbish.

I’ve only once regretted getting rid of something but can’t actually remember what that item was

Our house is described as minimalist by most people but we are still decluttering! Our children (adults) know where the important paperwork is kept for when we die. We are in our mid 50s.

My parents house is a nightmare and I will hire as many skips as it takes when the time comes! I think this is why we are 'ready'!!

There’s a balance and decluttering is an ongoing thing. What feels sentimental in the short term might feel less so in the long term. Do it gradually.

We’ve had to help sort out houses of parents downsizing. On my side, my mother went on and on about how would they ever get rid of their ‘huge shed full of stuff’. Well ‘huge’ described the shed quite well, but its contents were quite modest and no bother. The parents in law had a lot more stuff but it’s a bigger family and things soon got redistributed to the extent that the dining table the MIL had at the time of the move was garden furniture. The DH and I not sure who had the actual dining stuff.

When my father died it took two big skips to get rid of his rubbish, plus loads of trips to the tip. Loads was sold at auction. His wife was incredibly burdened with the whole thing, even with lots of help.

So yes, I say get rid of it as soon as you can. I'm constantly decluttering and I don't really have that much. Very little gets stored for too long "just in case".

Best do it now, by the time your friends get round to it they'll be old and it'll be a lot more difficult.

Having just had to clear and sell my Mum's house to pay for her care home fees, I am eternally grateful that she was not a hoarder and very neat and tidy. It was still a big task to clear her small 2 bedroom house which cost £1500.

Do it now! It saves you having to do it if you downsize / your kids doing it when you die 😅

My DPs are early 60s and have been doing it slowly for the last few years but amped up recently because they want to downsize.

My MIL has a house that is stuffed to the brim. She always said she would sort it out but now says she is too old so my DH will have to do it when she dies.

I wish DH would help her as when she does go, he'll have a hell of a job on his hands.

The loft was stuffed full and she has recently found that everything has been ruined by rats. I expect they are in other parts of the house but she hasn't found them yet.

Mum moved out of the family house after 40 years this year and had not thrown much out since my brother and I moved out over 25 years ago. She knew she needed to get rid of lots, she has downsized big time. It drove her and nearby family nuts, obviously wanting to look at/read letters she’s kept that I wrote when in uni, finding it hard to bin stuff. I was ruthless (with her permission) after dad died (dozens of Family Circle magazines circa 1970, anyone?!).

Do it now! I would have been cursing had I needed to tackle it once she’d gone. She still has a lot of stuff crammed into her new place, she knows I don’t want anything so it’ll be a house clearance, plus I work f/t and live hours away.