Before you had children, what would your dream family have looked like?

[Thingsweregoingwell]

I’ve put before you had children because no one would change what they’ve got … I’ve got a boy followed by a girl. I used to want two girls and a boy, but I’m definitely two and done!

I wrote in a diary at 16 what I imagined my life would look like. I thought I'd be married at 26 and have 3 kids, girl, boy, girl. I got married at 27, 3 kids, girl, boy girl as I predicted/wished/hoped for. I'd quite like a 4th now though.

I always wanted two boys and two girls.

Got one boy before my ovaries packed up.

Wanted one. Got one.
Never thought about kids when you was younger, but I did just assume I’d have them. Then I assumed I wouldn’t… Then I did!

I never thought about it beyond wanting at least one. After my first I said no more but now I'm trying for my third...

I've got a girl and a boy and everyone says that's perfect/enough but idk. One more would be nice.

We had 4 in the family, two boys and two girls and I think I always assumed would be the same but then ended up4 boys. Happy out x

I didn’t really think about it when I was younger as we couldn’t have children. Once we could I didn’t think about them being boys or girls, but I did wonder how old they would be when they became my children, and would it be a singleton, sibling group etc. In the end we ended up with two and we’re sticking with two.

I used to want 11 boys when I was a teenager. I picked all their names. Then when I met my DH and settled down I wanted three boys. I ended up with two boys and one girl and I couldn’t be happier. Neither of my two boys have any of the names I picked for my 11 future sons when I was 13!!

I always wanted four children, we discussed four children before marriage. We got to four and didn't stop there.

I was exactly the same. Wanted 3 boys and got 2 boys and a girl

As a child my dream family would have been at least two very large horses, 2 Great Danes and a few cats.
I ended up with a human boy and girl instead.

😂😂😂

I wanted lots of children. The reality is, kids are harder than you think when you're 14 so we stuck with 2 - a boy and a girl. Perfect for us, I don't want any more lol

I always envisioned having a girl and a a boy. I have a baby daughter and not sure I could go through pregnancy again. That was really tough.

Never wanted children. Decided that right up to being 30.

No idea what struck me at 30 to change the mindset I had fixed forever.

When we wanted a baby, Mother Nature decided otherwise.

It took a total of 10 years but we got our 2 in the end.
Boys.

Wanted one girl, exactly what I got. If only the rest of my dream life had been attainable...

I was going to be a rich pop star, married in my early 20s, gorgeous big house, twin girls and twin boys 😍

Currently early 30s, lovely DH, perfect 3yo DS, 3 bed bungalow. Potentially 1 more child if we’re lucky. Can no longer imagine having more kids than hands 😂
And I’m still waiting on my singing voice appearing 🥲😂

I wanted one, wasn't bothered over boy or girl, but I came from a big family and thought I would probably just have one that I could focus all my attention on.
I had twins and then a quick unplanned third daughter, it turned out well and I can't imagine any of them as an only child now anyway

Wanted a boy and a girl, got a boy and a girl.

BUT

Wanted musicians, got cricketers and hockey players!

I thought I wanted 3. Had 2 and that was/is well enough for me.

I thought hemmed have a calm, chilled household but it isn’t, it’s manic. I never thought I’d have a household with so much conflict and shouting. Honestly not sure how or why it’s happened this way either.

I didn’t want to have children for many years. I thought I’d be a terrible mother (and maybe I am).

once I decided that I would like children, I only wanted boys and I only had boys. I had a difficult relationship with my toxic mother so worried that if I had girls I would make them as unhappy as I was in childhood.

I didn't consciously acknowledge it, but I think I was always destined to be a single parent. I was raised by one. I had a lovely childhood.
During pregnancy with dc1 I went to all my scans on my own. I read all the books on my own. My ex didn't come to one appointment. For my second DC I asked if he actually wanted to be at the birth as I wasn't that bothered. Who knows if I sensed his reluctance or whether he sensed my inclination to do things solo?

Split when they were small. Now my life is just how I imagined it. He see's them but is very hands off about decision making or what I do with them e.g. travelling.
The way I see it, so many men fuck up their kids. I couldn't work out how I could prioritise my relationship and be the mum that my mum was. Maybe that's because it wasn't modelled to me growing up. TBH most of my friends who are raising kids in relationships seem miserable. I'd rather keep intimacy and my role as a mother separate, and I think it's becoming more common.
Also having SEN kids makes you realise that all the preconceptions you had about how you would raise your kids goes out the window. I don't discipline mine the way I thought I would as it doesn't work with autism.
I wonder about the gender stuff too. All these women who dreamed of having a little doll or mini me to dress up. How would they cope with a child who can't tolerate shoes, or hairbrushing and wears the same ripped, torn clothes that feel safe? Would they plough on regardless? Would that child learn to accept their rigorous standards of appearance? I'm not sure. I love my DD though, every single thing about her, but then the more I learn the more I think I might have some traits too. So maybe a ND family was what I always dreamed of?

I wanted 6.
I planned to have 1 on their own, then twins and then triplets. I can't remember whether I wanted girls or boys but it was likely girls cos I grew up in the wars of the Walton sextuplets and read a lot of Anne of Green Gables!
I now have a girl and a boy and would love a third, don't care what sex!

I wanted two children (a boy and a girl).

We had this and then decided to throw a third into the mix (he's a boy).

Wanted 2 dc, a girl then a boy, which is exactly what I got. There was a time when we wondered about having more but I’m so glad we stopped at 2. Feel very lucky with our little family.

I wanted 4, two of each, quite close in age. I currently have a boy and a girl, 5 years apart and we are probably not having a third but putting a pin in the decision for now. I definitely don’t have the money or the patience for 4!