Is my son neurotypical?

[spriots]

I have wondered about this on and off for a long time but I can't work out if I am overreacting.

He is 7.

Things that make me wonder:

He hates loud noises - bursts into tears when an emergency vehicle goes past sometimes, only recently ok with hand driers

He has a range of quirks around going to bed - lights, audiobooks, fan etc

He finds things like being in a small dark space comforting. Also fidget toys

He finds being out of routine/change quite difficult

When he was younger, things like his food being too hot would make him upset

When he was younger, he was just awful about getting changed after swimming because being cold and wet was very difficult

On the other hand:

He is socially fine at school

Academically doing well

Plays well with other children

Basically never violent

I can't work out if he is neurotypical and just a bit quirky or whether there is something else going on

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if your child had SPD, you would understand the difference between normal dislike of haircuts, and SPD dislike of haircuts.

My poor hairdresser (who, incidentally, DS LOVED) told me that in all her years, she had never had a child for whom cutting hair was this much of a challenge. DD, who is NT also didn't like her hair being cut when she was younger. Nonetheless, the difference between her and DS was like chalk and cheese. Really.

DS is 12 now. the best word to use for how he manage is to say that he "endures". He had to get his hair cut by my (new) hairdresser recently. It was fine, he coped. But she did say to me afterwards, "wow, he really really hated that didn't he?". He hadn't said a word, but she could tell by the tension and tightness in him.

OP - people (my parents, and in laws, for example) will tell you he will "grow out of it". or that "it's normal". And actually both of those things might be true. It's also true that he may just learn coping strategies. The fact that he is socially and academically able, at this point, is certainly excellent and means you're at least partially ahead (DS' SPD and, in retrospect, most likely his ADHD, has meant he is hugely behind academically. There was zero chance he could follow what was happening in the classroom or most of primary).

It's also true that as a standalone, and at this age, getting support on the NHS is almost impossible. If you want to access OT - you will need to go privately.

Something to keep in mind - SPD is not just about touch and sound etc, it's about other sensory issues that most of us don't really understand. Vestibular and proprioceptive in particular. I mention this as a common feature of children with SPD (no idea if this is true of your DS) is that they can have poor muscle tone, particularly core muscles, and can be overweight. I still don't understand that completely but I think it's got to do with how they use their bodies.

It can also mean that they get teased or bullied as they don't react like other children to things, and may also avoid doing things that children or teachers think is totally normal. eg DS would NOT sit on the floor outside. He had one teacher who simply would not see this as part of his SPD and it caused HUGE issues.

As ND goes, I think SPD, unless it's crazy bad, is one of the "easier" ones. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be exploring and understanding it.