I had a boyfriend about 20 years ago. We were having sex and I asked him to stop. He didn’t . He pinned me down and continued. He called me later that day to apologise. I accepted his apology, hung up, and then threw my phone on the floor in anger. We lived together for another few months before I moved countries and left him. I’ve never told anyone this happened as it feels like I will just confirm their suspicions about foreigners (he was Arab, and an asylum seeker) and maybe I feel stupid that I ever trusted him. For so long I’ve told myself it wasn’t a ‘bad’ rape as we were already having sex, but reading someone else’s post about rape just now has really brought it up for me and made me cry. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I have to say I still don’t see him as a bad person - is that fucked up, or is some rape worse than others?