Tips for feeling better (TW: Depression & Anxiety)

[LucyRipley]

Did think about posting this in Mental Health but was worried my stuff was a bit trivial and I didn't want to upset anyone.

So here's the thing. I've struggled on and off with anxiety and depression for years and mostly it's under control. I went to see my family last month - they live in a different country so I only see them a couple of times a year and I had a massive row with my mum. She's on a lot of medication and doesn't remember what was said but it was brutal.

Since then I've been really struggling. I'm doing all the things, doctors appointments, on the waiting list for CBT, meds, mindfulness, gratitude journals, going for walks, but lads it's awful. I'm not going to do anything daft - I'm a single mum with 3 kids to look after, I work, I volunteer - I will get through this, it's just really, really hard. I'm much better when I'm around other people but when I'm on my own it's awful - I feel really lonely and sad. I'm trying so hard to be positive and look for the light but at the moment I just feel really, really alone.

Can anyone share their tips for getting through the next few weeks? Things that made you feel better / slightly less alone?

Thanks so much xx

Sorry to here this OP. You sound as if your doing an amazing job. It must be difficult doing all this without the support of a partner. Is there a chance of meeting someone with view to a relationship? Everything seems so much harder at this time of year, Christmas just around the corner and dark cold nights. I'm sure there will be brighter days ahead for you.

Thank you - that's really kind. I have a partner - we've been seeing each other for 3 months so it's very early days. He's gorgeous, funny and kind - I just don't want to burden him you know? Be too much. I told him how I was feeling when I got back from my trip and he was so, so lovely but I don;t want to make him feel obligated or sorry for me. And of course now I'm over thinking everything worrying that he won't like me as much. Same thing with my friends. I don't want to be a burden or bring anyone down.

That's so sweet of you & great to hear you're not totally alone. It's understandable you want to tread carefully in a new relationship especially with children involved,he sounds lovely though. One day at a time and just try to enjoy moments together with your children and with your partner. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be sad. Christmas time and all that goes along with it can be enjoyable. It can also exacerbate feelings of loneliness & depression in many people and for various reasons. Stay strong 👍

It sounds tough but you're doing the right things. Just keep pushing through. Sometimes when things feel bad, the best we can do is manage ourselves.

Carry on looking after yourself. Eat well, try to get good amount of sleep, keep going with the walks and mindfulness.

It sounds like your relationship with your mum has some issues? Talk about it here. It might help to offload or get some advice.

Ah thanks @Draconis you're really kind. My mum's complicated. She suffers really badly from depression, anxiety, insomnia and OCD - she's been in and out of hospital and is on a cocktail of about 20 tablets a day to keep her stable. It's not her fault and I don't think she remembers what she said or why it was so hurtful. I don't know why I'm upset or why it hurts so much. I think it's this worry that there's something wrong with me. That I'm evil or bad or somehow wrong. My ex left me and my mum says the things she does sometimes.And I know it sounds ridiculous - I have 3 children - I'm never alone but I get really, really lonely.

Therapy would really help you.
You need to unravel all those issues and build yourself up.
I'm sure there's nothing bad or evil about you but your views have been shaped by your mum. It sounds like your upbringing may have been abusive?
If it was, go on the Stately Homes thread in relationships and you'll get some good support there.