Anyone else so sad to be facing Christmas still childless?

[eightloves]

I find that I don't belong in any groups because I've never TTC, but by god it still hurts with every baby announcement and sibling photos and tiny precious outfits in all the shops 😪

@Aurasauras don't talk bollocks "sweetheart".

I was TTC for eight years I had expensive painful treatment if I had to put 10p of rosemary under my pillow I'd have done that in an heartbeat.

Oh bore off.

OP - sending love. Infertility is shit and it’s shitter at Christmas.

Sorry it’s affecting you. Are you planning to TTC soon?

We likely won't start trying until late 2024/25. I know that would be the best for so many reasons, and I am trying to be grateful for a lovely relationship, but it just seems like so, so long away. Just nothingness.

What is this nonsense? 🤣

I'm so sorry @eightloves, Christmas is the worst time of year to be childless, it feels like such a marker of another year passed. Sending you lots of love this Christmas and hope you are able to find some joy x

It's 50k I'd need under my pillow

Well there we have it. All these years people have been pinning their hopes on expensive fertility treatments when all they needed was a bit of rosemary from the garden. Wise words indeed. 🙄

Hopefully you’ll be successful quickly when you do try. Just try to appreciate Christmas without children as there are many benefits, like you can have a relaxing time and enjoy your food. I ended up eating my dinner after everyone had finished last Christmas as my toddler was having a tantrum.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0753332217347923

Etc. Etc etc

Anyway after that lovely welcome I'll be off. Wishing you all luck with your fertility anyway. 💝

This is irrelevant as op has not said she is struggling with fertility issues.

Op if it's more about timing, I would suggest embracing an adult orientated Christmas while you can and hopefully this will change soon enough

I can see three posts here that are about fertility issues so I would say that it was not irrelevant! Quite the opposite. Despite several of you being extremely bitchy about a good hearted comment based in fact , I can see that you just weren't aware that Rosemary does improve fertility. You just needed someone to kick. I get it. Have a lovely afternoon. Won't be returning to this thread so you save the next bitchy comment for someone else.

Probably won't be back to the site either tbh.

Yes, it's always hard but I turn 40 next year and I'm single and childless so it feels like game over for biological children (and please no standard MN sperm donor suggestions, it's not in line with my values so not an option).

Being off social media entirely helps as I miss the Christmas pregnancy reveals and the scan pictures but I'm already getting worked up as I think my friend might send me Whatsapps with scan pictures on Christmas Day to say she is becoming a Nan...her son and his girlfriend have been showing signs that they are trying and I know they'd make a huge deal of some sort of nanna to be present and scan pictures and she'd immediately send it all to me so I could share in her celebration. Whatsapp is my only way of communicating with overseas family members so I have to keep the phone on otherwise I'd switch it off. I can't ask her to wait a few days as she'd just think I was being bitter and jealous...so I'll just have to deal with it as and when it comes up. Knowing my own feelings and the fact Christmas is generally quiet for me, I'll probably have a little cry, hate myself for not being able to have found someone who wanted me in time to have kids and then feel guilty and find ways of being strong and acting super excited for her like I've done dozens and dozens of times before.

Good luck with your plans for the future to try to conceive - I really really hope that it all works out for you and that all of this sadness is just a distant memory in a few years. In the meantime, just be as kind to yourself as possible, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling.

My sisters have a large handful of children between them. Myself and partner have been ttc for two years, have just been treated for bad cells in my cervix that will make the chances even smaller (and I nearly died from a resulting massive haemorrhage). We are both just turned 38, and I've been told (due to low amh hormone) that ivf won't work (well, 1% chance). All that's hard enough. But the sisters have been having multiple kid orientated get-togethers that I usually am joyfully joining in with (I love my nieces and nephew) but this year I've not been invited to anything. They're all getting together tonight and one sister told me she can't host adults (just adults with children I guess). Already felt alone because of childlessness, but actively being left out feels just so harsh. I don't know, I just feel a bit rotten. Hopefully not self obsessed. So yes, it's a bad time for being childless.

Been trying to channel this lotr quote I read last night lol... Things will go as they will and there’s no need to hurry to meet them.
Though everyone hates being quoted at, this one felt right for my own journey at least.
Best of luck and love out there.

@All2Well you could mute notifications on your chat with her.

I have no children. (I am also forever single).
It can be a bit too much this time of year with all the photos of kids in santa hats, etc., but if it's my close friends or relatives I still like to see the pictures. It's fun to see who the children are starting to look like.

For me it's more difficult to see all the newly engaged couples, and newlyweds, and pregnancy announcements on social media, it hurts that that will probably never be a reality for me. So I write Congratulations, and then I usually hide them for a while. I AM happy for them, but I don't want to read about it constantly.

OP, I wish you all the best!

If you are planning to TTC in the future then maybe it'll be your turn soon to do that announcement or buy the tiny outfits - fingers crossed for you when your time comes.