Am I terrible?

[Bereaved]

My much loved Mum died in August. She left her house to me, my sister and her grandson. I'd like to start to sort through her house with a view to either putting the house on the market in the spring or letting my sister buy us out.

My sister is telling me it's too soon and I'm being unreasonable. Am I ?

No YANBU. Much better to get on with it before you start getting maintenance issues with the house from sitting empty. Sorry for your loss

Of course not

But it sounds like you are grieving in different ways which is hard

No, it's been a number of months. The feelings will be the same when you have to clear her things whether it is done now or in 3 months time; but perhaps agree with your sister that you will both start this after Christmas as it will have been 6 months.

Ought to add my sister is staying in the house at the moment (she has her own house). She is very emotionally (unhealthily so) attached to the house and the past.

Yanbu. Best not to leave a house standing empty and unsold for too long. There will be council tax to pay and insurance

No, you’re not terrible. People grieve in different ways and your sister is clearly struggling to separate her memories of your mum from the house and its contents. But really you’ve left it long enough. When my Nan passed away the council gave us 4 weeks to clear her house completely so your sisters lucky your mum owned her house and she’s had a bit more time to process, but you probably need to get things moving now.

could you sort through things together. She may actually find it comforting to do that and reminisce with you about memories and things.

Not terrible at all. It's just practical. Grief is hard enough without dragging out these onerous tasks.
The house was left to all 3 of you, not just your sister.

Not at all.

No, you’re not terrible, you’re doing what you need to do. I’m so sorry for your loss x

this is a situation where noone is being unreasonable, people grieve in different ways and time

It took me 9 months to empty my mums house after she died and put it on the market as i couldnt face emptying it

The market is poor at the moment and winter/Christmas isn't great for selling. I'd wait until spring but agree with your sister a date to start the process. 1st March would be my thought. Is she in any position to buy you out in a few months time?

It sounds like she may be struggling, what do you mean by ‘sorting through the house’ are you looking to start to clear everything in preparation for it being sold? or was it more to do with doing an inventory of what’s in there?

I’d get it valued as it is first, and try and get a good indication of how much your sister would need to buy you out? She must have already thought about whether she can do that or not, maybe she can’t that’s why she’s stalling for time, but if she IS going to buy you out you wouldn’t need to clear it, do you get on well enough to have a good chat about it?

the alternative if neither of you need the cash right now is to keep it and rent it, that way the house is staying in the family for the time being, and it will take the pressure off deciding what to do with it in the long run.

You are not being terrible at all.
You can't just leave it. There are no magical spirits that will get the job done if you leave it long enough.
When my 2nd parent died, their home sold (SSTC - ie offer accepted and then on a tight time scale to empty it) in less than a month.
Most rentals give you about 6 weeks.

It does no-one any good to ignore it and hope it will somehow get easier. It won't.
You need to be insistent or persuasive, depending what will work, but I am surprised you haven't started before now.