Health scare has triggered my anxiety

[hinbauble]

I am extremely close with my mum and it’s come to light recently that she had a health scare. She had a worrying symptom which can be a sign of something serious, so she needed lots of scans and checks, blood tests etc but all the tests came back and she is absolutely fine and been discharged with no further action. It was nothing serious is the upshot, but her blood pressure is high (she does have anxiety, just like me, so it won’t help)

She’s otherwise healthy, no chronic conditions, more active than me and nothing stops her.

She knew I would worry so didn’t tell me she was having tests, only told me retrospectively that she had the scare but all was fine. Unfortunately since knowing that, although I felt so relieved at the time I now seem to have spiralled into anxiety worrying about her health and wanting to be sure she is ok.

I haven’t told her this because she doesn’t need to know and it’s selfish of me to be having these worries - I literally have no reason to worry either, that has been medically established

How can I calm these thoughts?

I think you and she should stop unilaterally deciding what the other should or shouldn’t be told and just talk to each other.

After my husband died, I developed a weird conviction that my daughter would one day find me dead at home. I really got quite obsessed with the idea, but never told anyone. Then I blurted it out to my daughter’s partner, and he said, “Well, if she does, she’ll deal with it, she’s strong.” And he was right. So I stopped worrying.

At least you’ll end up having the kind of conversation that most people wish they had had but it’s too late. Best wishes.

I agree with the advice above, agree to just be open and honest about health concerns, this is probably contributing to your anxiety. Stop protecting each other and start relating about what is going on in your lives.