Tips to make mum friends...

[Werehalfwaythere]

We moved town earlier this year, not far from our old place but swapped schools as my daughter is only in Y1. She started at her new school in Sept and so far has settled in really well having made friends and is enjoying the school. So all's good with her.

The issue I'm having, which I know isn't the be all and end all I know, is that the mums just don't seem to want to get to know me. I've tried standing with them, and the odd mum chats with me but most of the time it seems to be one of two liners, then they turn back to each other and chat about stuff I have no idea about and quietly so I find it hard to hear anyway.

I know it's nothing personal as none of them know me or our family.

I suspect they spent much of the Reception year meeting and bonding, perhaps even preschool, and now just don't care about meeting new people. Which I totally understand, except it would be nice for my boys to have playdates etc and I feel too awkward at the minute.

I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for starting to forge friendships (or mum friends at least)?

Or experiences of making friends later in primary school life?

Or have I missed the boat by missing out on reception with them?

I work 4 days a week so I'm not always the one to pick up and drop off which doesn't help. I'm on the class WhatsApp group.

Hi there

Similar boat here.

DS moved to new school 3 years ago now. Sorry to say but it didn't get any better for me, so I'm looking for tips.

I've had lots of playdates but never bonded with the mums as they drop and run. I go on school trips and chat to them there. During the last school trip they spoke about a party they were all going to, and mentioned (somewhat awkwardly) to me that I should come, that they have a separate WhatsApp group they would invite me on (they never did). I help out at school fairs and chat at them but nothing has ever clicked.

I have never had problems making friends in my life so this is new for me and I'm bemused and a little hurt if I'm very honest.

Target the parents of your children's friends specifically rather than parents at the school gate in general.

Do they do any club/activities?

Is there a class Christian social planned?

I agree with the advice re targeting your dc's friend's parents specifically- I've had some success with that. Could you throw a whole class party for your dc and meet the parents that way?

I'm going to go to the Christmas drinks. I feel incredibly awkward about going but I know I'm going to have to make some effort to improve it.

I'm sorry others are in the same boat.

I've never struggled before either, and actually know a few parents in other year groups as we didn't live far and knew through family. Unfortunately, it seems the mums in our class, while they seem nice enough, they just seem quite exclusive and grouped up already.

I've had two situations with different mums now where they've literally blanked me. I've written them off my "make an effort" list.

Unfortunately, the girl my daughter seems closest to so far is one of the ones that blanked me.

I was going to start inviting parents round 1:1 for a playdate/coffee but I'm starting to think that could be incredibly awkward now and wondering if I should bother.

Her birthday is in June and we're planning a full class party then. Can't really afford to through another sooner but will be going to one in December that we've been invited to (full class party).

The key is, don't be shy. Just front it up - something like, "I'm new to the area and I'm keen to get to know some other mums, would you and your DC like to come round for a play date after school? The kids can play and we can have a cuppa?"

Most people aren't dicks, but they aren't mindreaders, so bite the bullet and just make it clear you're looking to actively make a friend. The best 'mum friends' I have have come from me being upfront and asking for their number so we can meet up and get to know each other. If you get rejected, then that's no worse than the situation you're in now. But there's a chance you might actually break through and find some new friends to connect with.