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Neighbour problem

30 replies

Rainraingjustgoaway · 19/11/2023 11:48

I realise this is going to sound trivial to some, but I have history of depression and anxiety and this situation is causing me a lot of stress.
I live in a small block of flats, up to now everything has been good, it’s a lovely location and everyone has always got along fine, that is until new neighbours, a couple moved in.
I am quite a reserved person and for context a single female, because we all live in close proximity, I try to be civil and friendly to my neighbours, hellos, brief small talk etc. nothing else.
When they first moved in I initially bumped into her husband, introduced myself, before she came out the flat, ignored me, talked over the top of me then flounced back indoors.
When I say hello to her in passing she looks me up and down.
Every encounter with her is the same, if she’s with him she does this weird eye roll thing to him.
I have tried to reason that she can’t help it and is unaware of what her face is doing, but seems to manage to be lovely to one of my other neighbours ( loud and gossipy).
I understand that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, likewise not everyone’s to my taste, but I will still be civil towards people like a mature adult. She seems to actively despise me for minimal reasons at best. I don’t think I’ve encountered this kind of behaviour since being about aged 12.
Honestly I’m at a loss as to what her problem is and I am doing my best to ignore, but it’s difficult when you live in close proximity and share communal areas. I don’t want to escalate it by doing the same back, likewise I don’t want to keep trying to be civil to someone that doesn’t like me. I’m also worried she’s going to turn my other neighbours against me, which will be intolerable.
It’s causing me so much stress that I’m looking at moving , even though I can’t move away at the moment.

OP posts:
Rainraingjustgoaway · 19/11/2023 17:49

@Janeandme i realise on the grand scale of things this is pretty insignificant, unfortunately my body is not in agreement and someone being visibly hostile towards me that I have to share an environment with makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.

OP posts:
Rainraingjustgoaway · 19/11/2023 17:53

Thanks for the input from the posters that understand why it’s making me anxious. Will just be polite and ignore and pray they move soon 🤞🙏

OP posts:
Hibambinos · 19/11/2023 17:56

It’s clearly her insecurities that are driving her to be nasty. She is probably someone who thinks everyone single is after her husband . Ignore it, smile, say Hi. Don’t go out of your way, don’t hold doors, don’t stop to make small talk. Head up, say hi, carry on.

HerMammy · 19/11/2023 18:06

It does make you feel trapped in your own home and unsafe to go out.
This really is OTT, she's not interested in a friendship, is a bit rude but you're not in danger or trapped.
You need to be a bit more rational.

Janeandme · 19/11/2023 21:15

Rainraingjustgoaway · 19/11/2023 17:49

@Janeandme i realise on the grand scale of things this is pretty insignificant, unfortunately my body is not in agreement and someone being visibly hostile towards me that I have to share an environment with makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.

Ok but you understand this is your issue, you can’t expect to go through life with everyone liking uou. All she is doing is rolling her eyes basically.

have you considered seeking help?counselling? I’d reframe it in your mind, understand how extreme your reaction is, how it’s out with the realms of healthy, and try to understand why you feel the way you do.

this isn’t about her, it’s about you.

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