Am I a horrible parent?

[RuperttheBearHug]

Posting here for traffic…

Live rurally in lovely village with close community. DC has friends from school and home and is invited to play a lot and seems to have many friends. This is lovely and I’m happy for them/proud they’re easy for other parents to have around.

However, I am massively uncomfortable with children generally. Fake it and organise sleepovers or play dates as much as I can to make DC happy but loathe having anyone other than DC/DH in the house and need at least a few hours or day to psych myself up/talk myself into it. Other parents don’t seem to be like this at all and are happy to let the kids drift between houses, when they want to and just very relaxed.

I wish I was like this but I’m not. Especially in the morning. DC was invited to a neighbour’s first thing. Sent her over and was going to make a start on cleaning but was slow to get up and not dressed yet. DH is out all day doing sport (totally fine with this he deserves it).

Anyway kids were back here repeatedly ringing the doorbell within 10/15 mins and I snapped at DC when they said they wanted to play here. I felt trapped as couldn’t say no because would seem mean and ungrateful to neighbour but really didn’t want other kids here while I blobbed about in my PJs and ate toast in bed trying to make myself clean the bathrooms. I get up really early every day and work long hours. My weekends are precious.

Am feeling so bad now that DC should be able to be where they want to be and I should be more zen about this but my privacy is everything to me and I don’t feel comfy around other kids.

Am I a horrible parent? 😪

Not at all. We all have our times we want a bit of peace and long for a break. Hosting a gang early on a weekend would not be OK with me! You deserve time to slob out, catch up with chores and chill!
Set some boundaries. Its not harsh, its everyones shared home. And I bet the other mums have them! Saturday and Sunday mornings can be your time where they are not allowed other kids around.
Personally, I never see anyone before mid-day on a weekend. I just say I am useless in the morning + no good for anything.

Thank you - have regrouped with DC and they live to see another day despite the day pretty much going to pot and taking their attitude with it 🙈

You can't help how you feel OP, you are certainly not horrible if you tolerate it anyhow for DS sake.

Personally I see kids in my house as a bit of a break for myself. I'll go into another room and read or watch TV. I don't 'host' the kids, no offering snacks or anything. If they want something my kids can get it for them. if the door rings they answer. Inviting a school friend is different but I'm talking about neighbours kids.

That’s a good way of looking at it @Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong - I always have this weird paranoia that the visiting kids will think I’m lazy and go home and tell their parents I was grumpy or sitting on my phone or the weirdest one is always if they want the lounge I have to hide up in our bedroom. Need more rooms!