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Crap return from maternity

5 replies

toodledo · 19/11/2023 09:01

Hi all. I'd like a read on this, I don't know if I'm being too sensitive. Background: back from Mat leave 2 months ago, had openly said I struggled with PPA and PPD. My role has moved teams twice while I've been on leave, I have a new manager who started just as I returned.

On my first day, no one said hello to me because it had not been communicated I was coming back. New manager didn't put in a f2f until 3 days after my first day.

Since then, I've only ever had 2 f2f chats with her, and both convos were awkward and uncomfortable. First convo, she said I needed to stop being so negative and be mindful of my language when I highlighted challenges I'd had in this role before. The second, she asked me if I was involved in XYZ project and I said no, no one has involved me, please will you ask the team to involve me? And she said the responsibility is on you to build relationships. I've already asked my team to involve me in intro meetings, they haven't.

I feel worn down and deflated. No support in moving teams, she's never asked me how I'm coping with the transition back to work.

I tend to worry if I'm overreacting but feeling unsupported and anxious about work next week.

OP posts:
toodledo · 19/11/2023 09:02

Posting in chat for more traffic

OP posts:
toodledo · 19/11/2023 14:11

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
liormat · 19/11/2023 14:39

How long did you have off work? You shouldn’t have had to move teams. How come they’ve made you move? Barring any extreme changes to the organisation you should’ve been allowed to return to your old role. It could be maternity discrimination otherwise x

toodledo · 19/11/2023 18:15

I was off 14 months. My role moved teams because my original team wasn't the right fit for my role (my role was brand new when I started) x

OP posts:
Tillytilly5 · 19/11/2023 19:30

That sounds really hard. Coming back from mat leave is hard enough without new teams and difficult managers, and you've got both!
I found the first 3 months hard, just getting back into the swing of things after so much time away is tough. But you can do it. You could do it before you went so it's just about finding that bit of yourself back again, which is hard to do but definitely possible.

I underestimated how much I needed to act both like an established member of the team and also like a new starter, trying to establish and re-establish relationships and my status. It's a slog but I found suddenly things were ok and I'd got my confidence back.

Is there anyone you know in the businesses who's been off and come back who you could get some moral support from?

Wishing you all the best

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