Child prefers others!

[buddybean]

I am a very loving mother. DD1 is 5yrs old and just a her age when it comes to doing naughty stuff. Recently we were on a vacation to my MIL's home and DD1 preferred or rather loved staying with my Sister in law. One day she just blurted out I don't like you go away I just like aunty. I was so heartbroken. I love her, spend time with her, read to her, play with her, do everything she loves. After a few days I asked her why she said that and she replied because you keep scolding me for anything wrong I do. But I only correct her when I feel there's a physical danger to her. I'm sad and keep replaying the times I was strict with her and wish I could erase it. God help me I feel depressed. I love her so much and she prefers other over me. Have I done damage being strict with her in certain circumstances?

I'm pretty sure that this is a right of passage that all children go through. She doesn't really mean it, is too young to understand that it hurts you and feels safe enough with you to express her feelings in the moment. You play the most important role in her life. Other people play different roles which allow them to be entirely fun or a novelty. You are not supposed to be her friend all the time, you are her mum and that is so much more important but it also requires that you provide her discipline and are her safe place for expression of all negative feelings.

I understand that this has really hurt you but please try to realise that all children will say this multiple times to their parents throughout their lives. Try to minimise it in anyway you can and carry on as normal with her.

@Peppapigsamonster thank you so much. Your message was really reassuring. I think I need to get used to it because I see in the long run I need to be a strict parent so I raise an child who grows up to be a responsible and respectful adult. DD1 can be really rude sometimes.M, not just to me but to her dad as well.

Glad to have provided some reassurance. It is such hard work being a great parent, it takes so much out of you. I often find myself second guessing whether my approach is right. I think children thrive on firm boundaries and consistency. It's hard with rudeness but don't be afraid to start to respond to make it clear that rudeness is not ok and that it is hurtful and role model how you want her to communicate.
My DS is too young for rudeness (knowingly) but is a quite a handful and very willful. Everything feels like a battle. In fact, he has never said he loves me and when I ask him if he does, he will say 'no I love Daddy and my DS'. I know he doesn't mean it though.
You sound like a fantastic mum, try not to be hard on yourself.

Ah bless you, it is hard.

When my DD was little she only wanted DH. She'd put up with me but as soon as he came in the door I was nobody! Once I told her that I loved her and she said, "And I love Daddy!" which got to me at the time but I find very amusing now! She's 9 and has outgrown it for the most part.

But DS is 5 and has always favoured me, to extremes. He's getting better but it can still be hard sometimes... However, he was having a particularly difficult day today and said , "I don't want to be part of this family because I keep getting told off!"

And then at bedtime he was my best friend again, just like that. They're very fickle at 5!