Is it always down to appearance?

[3mirrors]

I do my grocery shopping in the same Tesco several times a week and recently I keep getting stopped my the same person on the self service check out. If I've done scan and shop and I've not been flagged for a check, she waits for me before I leave the area to check my receipt and bags. The same happens if I've not done scan and shop, she stands right by me to watch as if she thinks I'll steal something.

I bought some kids clothes yesterday and there was a problem with my bags being accepted on the scale so when she came over I asked her to detag the clothes while she was there. She refused saying that I might not pay for them if she did. So I scanned them, waited again and she eventually removed the tag after scrutinising my receipt and making a few other checks of my bags. She'd clocked my cheeseboard and asked for the receipt again!

I told my mother about this and she said its probably because I look poor, dirty and scruffy. Her problem is my hair, leopard coat and DMs. The leopard coat is less that 1 years old, DMs are just black and my hair is dark with blonde round my face. I am clean, a non smoker so I don't smell and I am polite to people.

I told my partner and he laughed, saying, yes you look very rock and roll so they probably think you're trying to steal stuff.

My mother went on to advise that my appearance was probably why DD doesn't have any friends. I'm quite hurt to think people could be so judgemental. I just like the Manics tis all.

Do I really look like a theif? Does everyone get this?

I agree that it's probably this rather than how you look. Some places are terrible for shoplifters and staff are generally more suspicious than in others.

Years ago, I took some books back to the local library, unfortunately rather overdue. The fine was £1 something pence, I can't remember the exact figure. But the librarian offered me the chance to pay in instalments! I was genuinely astonished and immediately wondered how poverty-stricken I looked, before coming to my senses and realising that it was the demographic of the area and not my rather ordinary appearance although DS was in a cheap Mothercare pram.

Sometimes it's not really you, more the area.

I think I should go with what @MyKindOfWonderful said and that my mother is just fishing for an angle. I'd hate for anyone to lose their job and my mild annoyance is best kept to myself rather than upset the poor woman on the self service. It makes a good tale if anything else, like my oh said, you're rock n roll but you're also gorgeous.

Interesting what the poster said about looking scruffy in an abusive relationship. I came out of a controlling relationship within the last few years and thought that all this had stopped for me. It used to be much, much worse for me.