Grieving an old username!

[BillionaireTea]

Just changed my username after a good run of a couple of years. I do end up giving away too much - job, children's names, personal stuff... I know a lot of my friends are on here and I spot them from time to time. So it was nearly time to change. Then I just wrote some OTT things on an AIBU thread which are a bit inflammatory and frankly not my best self... so I'm going to leave that identity behind and start fresh.

But I'll miss that name! It meant something and it allowed me to write about my approach to life and was shorthand for my experience on threads, which I found interesting (think "20YearsAMidwife" type name).

I know this is the definition of a first world problem...but wahhhh, goodbye name, I wish I hadn't been a dick then I could keep it 😀

you could always apologise for being a dick on the thread and keep your name. Just a thought.

What @coffeestrongblacknosugar said.

I name change more often than you but I do feel a wrench when I move on from one I particularly like. Often have a few false starts before settling on a new name I am happy with.

Give it a few months then resurrect it.
I've been using this name for a least a decade but I also have others.

I know what you mean, but I think fresh starts are healthy on here

Agree @coffeestrongblacknosugar and I might go back and do that. But that was the last straw really and it was more about being identifiable.

I also name changed for similar reasons. I'm over then old one now but was weird to start with as had that name many years

Or you could Give Fewer Fucks as they say.

Own your comments, it was how you felt at the time, give yourself permission to be an imperfect human being (join the club).

then resolve to Preview before Post and check how it reads back. I have to do that a lot because some threads really irritate me.

Or type up a post, have a cathartic moment, then abandon it (just close your browser tab and relaunch it) - I do that a helluva lot!

You nc for the same reason I do 😳❤️

And then there’s posters like me. I name change at least weekly, sometimes more. 🤣

It’s a username on a forum, you’re overthinking.

And then there’s posters like me. I name change at least weekly, sometimes more. 🤣

It’s a username on a forum, you’re overthinking.

Same. It’s sensible to change often. It’s just a username.

Exactly. I’ve just been inspired by this thread to look at my own username history in ‘Settings’ and I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of names since I joined in 2011. It’s been quite fun looking at patterns! I went through stages of using Irish words, paint colour names, character names from particular authors, obscure placenames, letting my young DS suggest things etc etc.

I don’t change names to get away from inflammatory things I’ve said. It’s just easier than remembering not to give away a lot of small details over time that would collectively identify me if someone recognised a situation or turn of phrase and searched previous posts.

You're best to change name sometimes. I do.
But I also do wonder who is going to cyberstalk hundreds of previous posts to piece together and try to identify some randomer on mn!

This

They wouldn’t necessarily have to. If someone recognises an anecdote I’ve told in RL and on here, or a particular turn of phrase, they wouldn’t have to do a lot of combing through old posts to see what I do for a living, where and how I live now, age and sex of child etc — enough to confirm it was me. That’s when a certain kind of person, with a lot of time on their hands, might look for posts in more sensitive topics.

I’m not saying they would. But they would have enough to go on if they did from a few identifying features. Hence frequent name changes.

I recognised someone I used to know once from a single post in the Exercise board because of her idiosyncratic spelling. It was enough for me to recognise from that one post that her love of exercise was fuelled by a significant eating disorder. I never searched any other posts from her, obviously, but I could have.

Agree @Bosca .I recognised my best mate from just one post and confirmed it from one search.

I think it's the linking different areas of life. Someone might want to post that their partner is bordering on financially abusive, and that they had a miscarriage, and that they work in their dad's firm and that their kid is autistic and that they like to have anonymous sex with people they meet on Tinder. None of it is secret as such but you might not want the same person to know all of it about you.

I remember years ago a poster did a search (with permission) on other posters and DM'd the personal information we had inadvertantly given out on posts which identified us.
She got to within 1 mile of my home and figured out details that were very identifiable. I have never forgot that and now change my name semi regularly.

Really? That’s so interesting!

I change for pretty much every thread, so must have had thousands over the years. It's one of the things I like about Mumsnet - no baggage to lug around if you don't want it. And you can hotly disagree with someone on one thread, and agree with them on another, without legacy animosity.

I also really like the new "anti-sock-puppeting" functionality which means I no longer need to remember to change username if going back to an old thread - the name now defaults to the one I used previously. Before that, I sometimes sock-puppeted accidentally. So, op, if you return to old threads you will get to use your own name again - it hasn't gone forever.

If people Google your long-standing username with the word mumsnet, it will surface old threads a lot more efficiently than Mumsnet advanced search, so they can very quickly extract a lot of information.