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I sound snappy all the time and I’m not snapping

7 replies

RubySunset82 · 18/11/2023 10:36

Hello, my title really. My kids tell me I’m shouting when I’m not. I can’t make a point because they tell me not to shout at them, in my head I’m not shouting.

Sometimes I’ve been out with kids and said something like, please don’t do that and they’ll say don’t shout at me mummy. I’ve seen the look of surprise on people’s faces sometimes (family) when I’ve disciplined the kids but I don’t think I’ve shouted or been snappy but I have.

My mum was always stressed and often snapped at us.

The problem is I can’t see it/hear it when I do, I’m now trying to soften my voice conciosuly. As it’s really upsetting for me to think I’m upsetting the kids eg it’ll be like ‘don’t forget your water bottle’ and they’re like Ok mummy don’t shout at us! But honestly I’m not!!! So so tiring.

OP posts:
RubySunset82 · 18/11/2023 12:31

Bump

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Jellybean85 · 18/11/2023 12:49

Hmm I was wondering if it was your kids trying to guilt you out of telling them off but if other people are visibly surprised then yea you must be pretty shouty or have a nasty tone!

Can you try and use a calmer voice and see how they react?

My mum has the same problem, her default tone once she's even mildly irritated is really nasty and was very upsetting growing up. As an adult I realise she doesn't mean it like that but too late now Blush

RubySunset82 · 18/11/2023 23:27

Thanks @Jellybean85 yes that’s probably it - my mum had a similar tone and my grandmother.

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Jellybean85 · 19/11/2023 18:20

At least you've realised there might be an issue and you're trying to reflect, my mum was incapable of that and it's really affected her relationships sadly. You sound like a great mum trying tk work on something to improve life for your kids Smile I'm sure you'll be able to find another way to communicate

Makemydaypunk · 19/11/2023 18:26

Some people say stop shouting when you are not shouting at all, it’s just they don’t like the content of what you are actually saying.

Wotsitfappe · 19/11/2023 18:35

Has anyone ever told you that you have a loud voice? Could it be that you are quite loud so then a slightly demanding tone sounds shouty?

RubySunset82 · 19/11/2023 18:41

I don’t have a loud voice no, but I’m a confident speaker. I must just sound shouty, I don’t know. Maybe I’m snappy. I just trying hard.

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