Does anybody else feel constantly irritated and angry?

[Livida]

I really dislike myself. In the last few months I have been increasingly angry, weepy and irritated. If some minor thing goes wrong it sends me into a red hot spiral of despair and anger. When it doesn't matter! I'm having to increasingly isolate myself. I am snappy, don't want to be around my family. Wound up at the drop of my hat. I don't want to be like this, objectively everything should be great. I'm also angry at myself because I can't deal with anything or anyone. And I don't know why! I used to be cheery and empathetic and happy. Now I'm a spiky ball of bitch.

This was me going into peri menopause before getting HRT. Could it be that for you?

I'm 43, it could be.

Though local surgery told me I was too young for peri menopause when I went in to tell them that I am an anxious angry mess

I’m exactly the same OP. 43 and just a big ball of anger at the moment. I know I need to see the GP but because it’s taken me a long time to find medication for my migraines that work, I’m worried about having to change things.

Are you perimenopause? My MIL was like this, very irritable and snappy, finding the family annoying.

It might be depression. Lots of people are angry and irritable rather than sad. I would go the doctors if you think it could be this.

Oh this is me. All day every day.

I'm worried it's just who I am 😂 I'm waiting with other mums outside my daughters dance class at the moment and they're all cheery and soft and not irritated by eg the crush to get in etc. I hate them 😂

I was the same at 43. Went on hrt patches at 45 and it went within a week!

It gets worse OP.....I'm 10 years older than you and know EXACTLY why my mother was like she was 🤣🤣

That made me laugh OP!

I'm in my 60s and don’t remember being so angry and irritated at 43 - at least for no reason. It seems everyone blame the menopause for everything now?

You sound just like me over the last few years OP. Sadly GP will do nothing for you until you're 45 as thats their threshold for being "allowed" to enter peri menopause. Too young is total rubbish... my mum was in full menopause (no more cycles etc) by 42, but the NHS won't listen until you're 45. I'm literally counting down the days til my 45th birthday (63 days to go) when they will prescribe me something (not that I'll take half of what they'll give me having done my own research in the last 3 years.

I've found that applying a topical bio identical progesterone cream 3 times a day has massively improved the worst of my symptoms (cyclical insomnia and rage). This is actually the opposite to what any GP will tell you; they'll give you massive amounts of oestrogen on a HRT protocol and very little progesterone; but all of my symptoms stem from low progesterone and are alleviated by using the cream. This costs me around £100 a month but has been worth it because it's saved my sanity, my marriage, has helped me feel like me again and, most importantly, has allowed me to be the mum I want to be to my young children again after 18 months of hell.

Happy to share more info on this and some resources so you can educate yourself if you want to PM me. Not trying to sell you anything I promise; just don't fancy getting into a debate here on MN about the pros and cons of oestrogen and progesterone in menopause and peri menopause therapy.

HRT

this is me too, it's because life is a ball of shite.

Could there be something going on that is causing this? Work stress or relationship/family issues that you are trying to ignore? Mid-40s is an age where many women are juggling a lot of competing responsibilities, and that can coincide with hormonal changes. It's worth considering shit-life syndrome contributions to our feelings rather than immediately assuming hormonal causes, and it could also be a combination of these factors.

I felt like this a lot when I was stressed with work a number of years ago, and I also get this for a few days in the week before my period every month (and this is getting worse now I'm pushing 50). Either way, the GP shouldn't be fobbing you off. I hope you find some resolution.

I've always found that taking vitamin B complex is a great help in dealing with irritability.

Maybe you’re actually dealing with objectively difficult stuff and have just run out of patience? I’m uneasy with dismissing it as ‘hormones’ without considering whether your life is just hard and you’ve run out of road with dealing cheerfully with stuff.

It could be perimenopause. It was my biggest symptom and was debilitating. It is caused by depletion of oestrogen, so for me HRT stopped it within days. I suffered for 6 years though, totally needlessly it turns out.

your surgery are very very wrong to say that, also sounds like they dont really understand peri menopause at all.
It sounds exactly like me pre HRT.

I am now a year down the line and feel much more zen than I was. Spiky ball of bitch is exactly how I would have described myself.

I also have some natural remedies to try too. But im ok on the HRT for now.

Please dont suffer, there is no need.

I'm 45 and everything annoys me. Slow walkers slow drivers, loud eating, sniffing coughing everything. I've tried hrt but didn't help.
Your dr is wrong. Peri can start in 30s. See another Dr.

I read somewhere it's a combination of optimism that things will go well with low resilience for the stress of yhem not going well.

So don't race to label yourself menopausal! Practice self-compassion ask yourself will this matter in a year in 6 weeks, in ten minutes.

I agree with other people saying something else is going on/ it's just general life shit.

I'm 43 and thought it was peri menopause. Then my husband left and suddenly all of my stress and rage is no more!

I think women in their 40s and 50s now are the ones who were raised on 'having it all' which really meant doing it all. We are tired and fed up of carrying the weight of the world!

Thanks all, it could be either! I do have small children, a full time job and the usual worries. The phrase "a combination of optimism that things will go well with low resilience for the stress of them not going well" resonated with me for sure. Thanks for the offer @MydeamonsanOstrich - I'll DM you later. GP definitely fobbed me off and I know he'll tell me to go on ADs at my next visit as a short sharp "solution."