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Worst Christmas meal ever? Can be because of hideous food, dreadful company, unbearable tension...or all of the above!

197 replies

sprigatito · 17/11/2023 18:07

We had some terrible Christmases when I was a child - divorced parents, nobody got along, my mother was a crap cook and had a violent temper and my stepfather had Victorian tendencies (no talking at the table) so Christmas dinner was generally horrendous on a number of levels. This wasn't improved during the years when my dad was around for Christmas, because we'd get dropped off at his (freezing, uninhabitable) house straight after dinner, where he'd have bought enough meat and cheese to feed an army and expect us to eat it all. Christmases at home tended to end with a blazing row and someone storming out in the middle of dinner/charades/the night.

I love Christmas now (and am NC with my mother) but at around this time of year I do get the slight collywobbles remembering how awful it used to be. I have this horrible but funny image of my mother's face under a gaily coloured paper hat snarling "you've ruined Christmas for everyone, now shut your mouth or I'll knock your block off"

So what's your "worst Christmas dinner ever" story?

OP posts:
Diamondshmiamond · 17/11/2023 22:15

Some of these stories are so sad. Glad most of you are now having the Christmases you deserve.

I've not had awful Christmases, but fear this one will be difficult. Df is dead and dm moved into a care home this year. I'll go and see her, but she has dementia and it will break my heart. I have lovely dc of my own, and will try to make it special for them, but dh is so grumpy and the realisation that i'll never have the big family Christmases I always wanted, or be able to celebrate with my parents again, is painful.

Hotchocolatemousse · 17/11/2023 22:22

Diamondshmiamond · 17/11/2023 22:15

Some of these stories are so sad. Glad most of you are now having the Christmases you deserve.

I've not had awful Christmases, but fear this one will be difficult. Df is dead and dm moved into a care home this year. I'll go and see her, but she has dementia and it will break my heart. I have lovely dc of my own, and will try to make it special for them, but dh is so grumpy and the realisation that i'll never have the big family Christmases I always wanted, or be able to celebrate with my parents again, is painful.

@Diamondshmiamond sending you lots of unmumsnetty hugs. My dad died 5 years ago and I miss him more around this time of the year.

Jewnicorn · 17/11/2023 22:23

We don’t do Christmas but this happened on the 25th so I’d say it counts.

It was the day I discovered my parents were swingers and that the two close family friends I’d come to know and love were a whole lot more than close family friends.

Discovered in such a way that will forever be burned into my retinas and leave me wishing for eye bleach.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Gettingbysomehow · 17/11/2023 22:25

Jewnicorn · 17/11/2023 22:23

We don’t do Christmas but this happened on the 25th so I’d say it counts.

It was the day I discovered my parents were swingers and that the two close family friends I’d come to know and love were a whole lot more than close family friends.

Discovered in such a way that will forever be burned into my retinas and leave me wishing for eye bleach.

Oh my God no 😫

Gettingbysomehow · 17/11/2023 22:33

When I was an adult I was invited to a few christmases at my aunt and uncles house, they were lovely and my cousins were great.
But every damned year the cat got the turkey and it would be served up with a big hole in the side hidden (not very well) with bits of garnish.

Ittastesvile · 17/11/2023 22:39

The one where I came down with flu on Christmas Eve and collapsed during Midnight Mass. I was semi-conscious for several days and the family postponed Christmas until I'd recovered.

JoyandNoel · 17/11/2023 22:43

Okay, it's not terrible but this was my worst Christmas Day.

Christmas 2004, we'd been invited to spend the day with SIL2 and family, MIL, and other SIL1 and family. First time not having Christmas dinner at my parents house.

We visited my parents early in the morning so they could see DC1, it started snowing, my mother and father both wanted us to stay but DH says how high?, whenever his sisters want him to do anything. They live about 40 minutes away in a lovely rural location. We'd been invited to arrive at 12:30pm to eat at 1pm. We set off extra early because of the poor driving conditions. We got into a terrible skid on the road, 360 degree turn, fortunately no harm done except to our shattered nerves. DC1 slept through it all. DH still wanted to go to SIL2, we were nearly there anyway. We agreed that we would leave before it got dark so we'd improve our odds of getting home safely. We arrived on time.

Arrived, SIL2 emerged briefly from kitchen to say hello, I spotted that she was pregnant but not enough to comment and expected she would tell us later, in that very moment I had a premonition that I was pregnant too! We were still expecting to eat at 1pm, she didn't say any different. I took my insulin shot expecting to eat shortly, spent the afternoon munching glucose tablets to compensate for the long wait. BIL1 was already ensconced in SIL2's kitchen helping her before we arrived, he's awesome in the kitchen. About 3 hours later SIL1 went into the kitchen to help too. This left me minding SIL2's baby as well as my own and keeping SIL1's children under control and trying to find things to chat about with my MIL. Literally dying for a cup of tea. Or a Diet Coke, Diet 7-up, Diet Fanta, Diet anything really, I'm not fussy. DH had gone off out with BIL2 to feed some animals. I couldn't leave all those children to even get myself a glass of water. The most miserable fake tree you have ever seen. They have central heating but it's never been on when we visit.

Eventually, 6 pm came and Christmas dinner was served. A main course, full stop. Like a Sunday roast with cranberry sauce. Turns out SIL2 had done no prep in advance and BIL1 did all the turkey and ham from scratch when he arrived. Vegetarian SIL2 had spent weeks working on her Christmas cake, I'm sure it was lovely but we literally wolfed our dinner and had to leave before we were snowed in. Still no cup of tea. We left our presents there in a bag, there was no time for a gift exchange/opening.

Driving back to town, the road was very quiet. It was dark, snowing and visibility was very poor. We ended up in a convoy of 3 cars including BIL1 and we seemed to have an unspoken agreement to have about 20 yards between each car going at a very slow pace. All good until we got to an overtaking lane going uphill and a taxi comes from behind and puts the boot down scaring the bejaysus out of us all. First I thought he was going to hit us, then the car in front of us, then BIL1's car. Was never so glad to arrive home cold and hungry at our own house. First phone call was to let my mother know we'd arrived home safely, her day had been spent worrying about us.

Dial-up internet and a freezing house meant SIL1 and family would never go there for for Christmas again, they resumed hosting duties instead. DH was very happy to go to my parents in the years after that until my parents and extra guests became happy to be hosted by us.

The good thing was that SIL was indeed pregnant, didn't tell us for another 6 weeks or so. I was the only one who'd noticed. I was pregnant too, conceived on Christmas Eve.

LeggyLegsEleven · 17/11/2023 22:45

Most Christmas’s at my in laws were hideous. Because they lived a big distance away it was always expected to travel to theirs to see ‘the family’. We actually rarely saw anyone from DHs massive family as they make no effort and just complain we never visited (we did) they just wouldn’t make the effort to see us.
BIL would take the opportunity to run off to his in-laws as well.
So we were trapped with in-laws alone. FIL trying to drink at every opportunity and MIL trying to make it as miserable as she could manage. Complaints about gifts and everything she gave was passive aggressive.
One Christmas she declares she hated Christmas dinner and didn’t want it but DH refused to rush up on Xmas morning for a crappy takeaway. So she made the worst meal I’ve ever eaten served after 8pm. Tinned tomato soup watered right down to red water. Turkey overcooked, one pigs in blanket, gravy you could cut with a knife and overcooked grey tinned veg, boiled potatoes, cheap vinegary wine. Accompanied by a lecture about gluttony.
The actual worst of it was DH on the way home telling me what a great Christmas it had been and how wonderful the food was. We didn’t go again, I made them come to us. Which MIL equally hated but at least we ate well.

Davros · 17/11/2023 23:00

I haven't RTFT but I will tomorrow as I find these stories interesting and sometimes funny.
Christmas 2019, me, DH and DD met my sister with her DH and DD at a hotel for Christmas lunch, her choice. When I had asked what we would do after, she gave a tinkly laugh and said "go home I suppose". So I drove and thought I'd drink at home later, she was annoyed that we weren't going to her house after and that I wasn't drinking. She got pissed and, halfway through the starter, she started having a go at DD who she doesn't really like, I don't know why. She was shouting and swearing in a full "festive" restaurant. DD ran off to the car and I followed, then I went back in and said, quite calmly, that we were leaving. When we got home we had a McDonald's for our Christmas lunch!

WinteryWonderland · 17/11/2023 23:13

My DH died aged 29 in an accident in the August.
That first Christmas was absolutely awful. We all came together for Christmas lunch my parents, inlaws and DH young sister who had recently turned 18. His elder sister who was cooking lunch for us all disappeared and had been sat at her brothers grave side crying all morning. She turned up around midday. I have no idea how we got through that day, but somehow we did 😔

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBabyYeahRight · 17/11/2023 23:52

@Eukanuba Christmas Day 2018 for me. Followed by 2 more losses in 2019 I've hated Christmas ever since

EvilElsa · 17/11/2023 23:57

WinteryWonderland · 17/11/2023 23:13

My DH died aged 29 in an accident in the August.
That first Christmas was absolutely awful. We all came together for Christmas lunch my parents, inlaws and DH young sister who had recently turned 18. His elder sister who was cooking lunch for us all disappeared and had been sat at her brothers grave side crying all morning. She turned up around midday. I have no idea how we got through that day, but somehow we did 😔

I'm so sorry, that is absolutely devastating for you all. I really hope you are doing OK x

JoyandNoel · 17/11/2023 23:58

WinteryWonderland · 17/11/2023 23:13

My DH died aged 29 in an accident in the August.
That first Christmas was absolutely awful. We all came together for Christmas lunch my parents, inlaws and DH young sister who had recently turned 18. His elder sister who was cooking lunch for us all disappeared and had been sat at her brothers grave side crying all morning. She turned up around midday. I have no idea how we got through that day, but somehow we did 😔

That's truly awful, wishing you all better times.

Amandasummers · 18/11/2023 00:45

Sitting here in floods of tears reading these stories knowing what lies ahead for me this year. Another year of looking forward to Christmas and believing that just this one time, he won’t spoil it, but I know he will and it will be awful like it always is and I will have once again let my children down and they will be the ones adding these stories to the mumsnet threads of the future. I feel
broken.

CesareBorgia · 18/11/2023 01:36

Amandasummers · 18/11/2023 00:45

Sitting here in floods of tears reading these stories knowing what lies ahead for me this year. Another year of looking forward to Christmas and believing that just this one time, he won’t spoil it, but I know he will and it will be awful like it always is and I will have once again let my children down and they will be the ones adding these stories to the mumsnet threads of the future. I feel
broken.

Edited

Can you leave? It sounds as though you need to. Flowers

Keepingittogetherstepbystep · 18/11/2023 01:58

Packet of Quavers. My parents were staying at my house, I'd picked the up on Christmas eve and we nipped in Asda on the way back, my dad wasn't feeling too good so he stayed just the car.

We got back to my house about 30 minutes later, I had a present to deliver so went out for about 40 minutes and my mum made some we some food.

He said again he didn't feel well, my mum told him to go to bed but he wouldn't.

I'm so glad he didn't as within the hour he tried to stand up and was just stumbling everywhere. It was obvious something wasn't right so I called 111 they sent an ambulance was about 9.30pm.

The paramedic said immediately I know what this is, it's sepsis. He was blue lighted we followed in the car. Hospital is in the middle of knowhere. I let my sibling know but they'd been drinking so it was left to me and my mum. We stayed with him at the hospital until he was admitted which was in the early hours.

Came home got some rest and then went back. Was too knackered for food. My sibling and some of his family visited the hospital but then carried on with their Christmas as if nothing had happened.

He was in hospital until New Year's eve when there was a sudden knock on the door, they had sent him back by hospital transport. They told us he was being discharged and would let us know when transport had set off.

The irony being he got 3 Christmas meals and we got none. But inbetween visits we just chilled out and I've just remembered we watched several 3 D movies and I'd got a new 3d TV 7 weeks before Christmas.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 18/11/2023 02:48

6 months pregnant a few years ago.

Fell out with my mum.

Ended up in a hideous restaurant with violently small portions with MIL and DP.

MIL was banging on and on about SIL who had Covid and it just ruined the atmosphere.

I left tired, hungry and uncomfortable 😂

Vowed never ever to go out again on Christmas Day.

Remaker · 18/11/2023 03:09

I was heavily pregnant and was happy to host the family Christmas but my brother wanted to. We arrived at the appointed time armed with some big festive salads (summer Christmas where I live). Brother was cooking on the stove, looked around, no other food evident. There was no other food. Christmas dinner was a chicken stir fry - chicken and carrot to be precise (I hate carrots) with no other veg, just plain rice. And my salads. Servings were tiny and the salads were demolished. We weren’t offered anything to drink, I think I had to go and get myself a glass of water. No dessert.

We went home and had cheese on toast to fill up! Most miserable Christmas ever though we do laugh about it still, 15 years later. We do go there for Christmas from time to time but my poor Mum lives for the years it’s at our place as I do the full trimmings, lots of extra treats, desserts etc. One year SIL made a small thimble sized jug of gravy for 12 people. I thought DH was going to explode from holding in the laughter! We’ve learned our lesson and always have a ham, salads, nice bread back at home so we don’t starve.

kidneymidney · 18/11/2023 03:11

First Christmas after my dad died when I was 12. Mum had gone way ott with presents and it felt so wrong. Really depressing

madeleine85 · 18/11/2023 03:51

Our first born spent her first Xmas in the NICU for coming 6 weeks early. That was truly brutal, and I remember spending the whole day there, a blubbering mess as she really wasn’t progressing with breathing/eating on her own. She turned it around and came home 5 days later, and is now a very healthy, feisty almost school age child. That Xmas was horrific, but now makes me really grateful for what we have.

Thursa · 18/11/2023 04:18

I dreaded Christmas as a child. My mum vocally hated Christmas and every year we had a couple of weeks listening to her go on about how much she hated it and we weren’t going to bother this year. Every year we went to bed on Christmas Eve with no sign in the house it was Christmas. They did put up the worlds most pathetic tree and some paper decorations after we went to bed. No point in hoping for that years top toy, we didn’t get toys, we got a new set of clothes for school.

First year after I left my home country and moved to DH’s we spent Christmas with the in-laws. Took all day to drive there, mil asks if my family celebrate Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Christmas Day, oh well, she says, we celebrate Christmas Eve so, ha, ha, ha ha ha…

My first Christmas as a mother was my first Christmas without a mother.

Three years ago we were woken up at 6am Christmas morning to the news fil had died.

Im one who decorates at the end of November, beginning of December, there’s a lot of bad memories to blot out with fairy lights and Santas.

Roselilly36 · 18/11/2023 04:20

So sorry to hear of some of the heartbreaking experiences Flowers

I can remember being very little and being in bed with flu one Christmas.

MIL & I having a terrible sickness bug on Christmas Day, missed dinner, thankfully DH always cooks so him and the kids had dinner together.

DS2 was about 6 or 7 had a terrible migraine on Christmas Day, went to bed, DH delayed dinner hoping he would feel better. I went into his room at about 6pm and he woke and said he felt a lot better and he was really sad he had missed Christmas dinner, I said no you haven’t we have been waiting for you, he thought it was morning and said are we having Christmas dinner for breakfast 😂

TiredCatLady · 18/11/2023 06:03

A couple come to mind… None as bad as some of you have gone through.
A few years ago, I’d been through an awful break up of a long term relationship and had been working abroad. Just about made it back on Xmas eve due to flight cancellations. “D”M has form for being obsessive about keeping Xmas EXACTLY the same every year, and I mean exactly, since myself and sibling were children. Except as adults that’s not fun. I was very jetlagged so being woken up at 7am on Xmas morning to her shouting up the stairs about Santa was the perfect start to a rubbish day. Presents included toiletries I can’t use (allergic), and childrens underwear and socks. Excuse was that she hadn’t had her glasses while shopping (this wasn’t a one off). Tv on from the crack of dawn with utter rubbish (but you used to like X!). Sat down to cold Turkey cooked the day before and suitably mushy veg. DM decides to start on my relationship status (just think, you could have been getting engaged this Xmas) and about how it will all be better when she has GC if I “ever manage to keep a man”. Which turned into a near full family assault on my life choices (bar my mortified DF who didn’t know where to look). Think “no man will want you if you’re career obsessed”, “you’re getting older now” (I was mid 20s), etc. They didn’t know the full details of how my relationship had ended but even so what they said was more than a kick in the guts. I finished my dinner and went for a walk/sob. Then booked an earlier flight out on the 27th.

I stupidly went back for Xmas there for another few years of increasingly depressing “Same again” after being guilted into it but that year truly sucked what remained of the joy out of it.

Then covid came along and I’ve had three blissful family free Xmas since and am looking forward to the fourth!

Aposterhasnoname · 18/11/2023 07:17

The Covid Christmas year. Every year, forever, we’ve gone to my parents for Christmas. They really go to town with decorations, presents and a fantastic meal, everyone looks forward to it all year.

About two weeks before Christmas DM announces that they have had a “family meeting” which consisted of my parents and sister, I wasn’t involved, and they had decided that the family was going to split in two that year, so basically, my sister and her family would be going to my parents, while DH, me, DD, her boyfriend, and her four month old son, were no longer invited.

I had to rush round pulling some sort of Christmas together, while pretending to DD that it was fine (she was devastated no one wanted to see her son on his first Christmas). My sister said they’d face time us after dinner, so we all sat round the table with the iPad and waited, the call never came. DD devastated again that no one wanted see DGS in his cute little Christmas outfit. We tried calling them, but no answer.

DD and her boyfriend went home straight after dinner as they were collecting his son, so DH and I were alone and just got pissed. Oh, and DM finally remembered I existed around 6pm and rang, DH answered, talked to her for a few seconds then passed the phone to me, but she had hung up.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 18/11/2023 07:27

Sil hosted, she can’t cook so it was the cheapest turkey, ready made everything, but it went cold serving it up because she can’t time things/cope with anything more complicated than putting her make up on so it all had to be microwaved so it was just white protein, Bisto gravy and over cooked veg. This at a time where sil partner bragged about how much he earned and sil was illegally claiming tax credits as a single mom.

She had 3 dessert options all of which had an ingredient I’m allergic to in and after dh had asked what’s for dessert she listed the options and turned to me with faux innocence “Oh, I don’t suppose you can have any of those can you?” 😂 so they served me a tin of mandarin segments. It’s not hard to find a Xmas pud I can have every year either.

The next two years we booked into a suite at a hotel known for its food in the Cotswolds and had the best time. Never been back to sil for Xmas.

The previous Xmas I’d hosted and they’d eaten, done presents got up and announced they were leaving. Sheep Mil then left because without her daughter there (who she calls an old tart and bad mother behind her back) there’s no point staying either so I’d decided I wasn’t doing Xmas again. Worst bit was dh had warned me it wouldn’t go well and as everyone was putting their shoes to leave en masse he was giving me the “I said this would happen” look.

The jokes on them because mil and sil now spend Xmas together, neither are good company and sil still can’t cook so aged mil has to 🤣