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Original poster

Can a preschool do this?

31 replies

Shittenshite · 16/11/2023 20:12

Long, sorry.

My 3 year old daughter attends a nursery which is part of a school. She has 30 hours funded childcare so attends 5 days a week for the full school day. She enjoys it, is absolutely thriving and its very close to us so convenient too as we're able to walk to school and back.

Even through it's a nursery - and they call it a nursery - the children wear uniform and adhere to most school rules although they do relax some of them for the nursery class as they are so little to have lots of relatively strict rules imposed on them.

Because she is only three, she is NOT legally obliged to be in education. She could be at home being looked after by myself and her dad, or she could be part time or full time in a nursery of our choosing. There are lots of reasons why we chose for her to be in preschool and we stand by those reasons and that decision.

It's our daughter's 4th birthday very soon and will be on a school day. I asked the staff whether we could have that day with her (as in not take her to school on that day) on the full understanding that we understand absolutely that once she starts reception, that she is legally obliged to be in education and that we cannot and will not take her out of school for her birthdays (or any other family celebrations), should they fall on a school day. We were hoping to do something nice with her before she starts 'proper' school and that they'd understand.

Nope. We were told it would be recorded as an unauthorised absence and were handed a form to fill in about leave of absence during term time. The form lists 9 reasons why parents should not take children out of school during term time. Most of them are understandable and we agree with them, HOWEVER, one of them says "you are saying that education is not important". Lastly, it asks the parent or guardian to sign the form stating that they understand and accept the 'list' and that fines could be imposed, blah blah.

I am saying BOLLOCKS TO THAT. I am not signing this form and confirming that I am claiming that education isn't important. Of course it's important BUT SHE'S NOT OBLIGED TO BE IN EDUCATION and we are not obliged to send her to school at this age.

Can school do this? I could ask for their policies for the nursery class I guess (it's not on the school's website) but fucking hell that's harsh!

OP posts:

Peepshowcreepshow · 16/11/2023 20:14

Just don't take her, there's no need for the stress - like you say it's not compulsory, so you didn't need to say anything in the first place.

WannaLiveInABubble · 16/11/2023 20:17

Ask the outright where it states a 3/4 year old has to be in education. Its the term after their 5th birthday. Just call her in sick on the day.

BugsyDrakeTableScape · 16/11/2023 20:19

Just don't take her in. You don't have to sign anything and pretty sure they don't need to authorise an absence - unless you've signed up to some weird set of policies when you enrolled her. Although not sure why you asked permission in the first place - at my daughter's pre school it would just be ' she won't be in tomorrow' and that's that

Interested in this thread?

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3 year olds Childcare & nursery Families General education

FawnFrenchieMum · 16/11/2023 20:20

They are simply using the same form as they use for the rest of the school.
No need to sign the form. I would write a note stating they won’t be in but not think about it any further.
I think both you & the school are over reacting to be this worried about.

StarlightLime · 16/11/2023 20:20

I doubt they'll actually care if you take her out for one day.
Those rules are probably to discourage people who've taken advantage of the free 30 hours from only taking their child when it's convenient for them, because "it's not compulsory".

Pleaseletitbebedtime · 16/11/2023 20:21

It’s just standard policy of the school. Fill in the form and enjoy your day off.

EddieVedderSingsToMe · 16/11/2023 20:23

You don’t even need to take her when she is in reception class, until she actually turns 5. That is the law. This is nonsense. My August born son could have taken as many days off school as he liked in reception as he didn’t turn 5 until 2 days before he started Year 1! Obviously I did send him to school unless he was actually poorly but it’s nonsense what they are saying

YoBeaches · 16/11/2023 20:24

Fines can't be imposed because dd isn't 5. There is no Megan o location for her to be in school and so no fine for absence can be imposed.

The nursery are being dicks. You can fill out the form if that's their 'police for reporting absence' but nothing else at all can happen.

SparkyBlue · 16/11/2023 20:24

You should have just kept her at home and not asked permission from them.

queenofthewild · 16/11/2023 20:24

This is madness. I work in a school nursery and it's our policy to authorise absence if the child is not of statutory school age.

We do keep attendance data and excessive or unexplained absence would be followed up by safeguarding leads, but a day to celebrate a birthday would be no problem at all.

YoBeaches · 16/11/2023 20:24

Fines can't be imposed because dd isn't 5. There is no Megan o location for her to be in school and so no fine for absence can be imposed.

The nursery are being dicks. You can fill out the form if that's their 'police for reporting absence' but nothing else at all can happen.

Sorry autocorrect no legal obligation for her to be in school

wokbun · 16/11/2023 20:25

I wonder if it's to do with the free hours. Are they getting slots taken by people who then don't show up a lot?

NuffSaidSam · 16/11/2023 20:25

Can they ask you to fill out a form? Yes, if that's school policy.

Just sign it and move on. No need for any drama.

You can kick up a big fuss if you want, but I'd urge against it if you're planning on keeping her at that school.

Guibhyl · 16/11/2023 20:27

I reckon they get people who sign up their kids to do the full 30 hours so they have the option of a full time place when the whim takes them but 9/10 they only send their child a couple of days a week. Did you sign a policy that says something about taking the place in good faith etc?

even if you did, one day of absence is not a big deal. Just send a note saying “thank you for sharing your attendance policy, however as DD is not of compulsory school age we are choosing to keep her at home on XX of November on this occasion”.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 16/11/2023 20:27

Bit intense, I'd say it doesn't bode well for their approach to nurturing 4 and 5 year olds.

connu · 16/11/2023 20:35

You shouldn't have asked and just not gone that day

Sometimes being honest doesn't work.

MuddledMadge · 16/11/2023 20:39

I had similar happen when my dc was that age. I signed the form. No one cares how much time he had off when he was at nursery now he's nine.

CyberCritical · 16/11/2023 20:42

I'd just sign it, say great thanks and have the day off regardless of whether or not they like it.

They can't fine you and it is meaningless paperwork, but if they think it's important then just play the game and move on.

DD is yr5 now, she's always had great attendance because we're lucky enough that she hasn't been seriously Ill at any point, not because we've ever done anything to force good attendance levels. End of last school year we realised leaving early on the last day of school would make a big difference to holiday prices so I just told reception she would be leaving at lunch time that day, they told me they couldn't authorise it, I said that's fine I wasn't actually asking permission I was notifying them of what would be happening and they should record it however they need to.

cazinge · 16/11/2023 20:47

When DS was in pre school (attached to the school he now attends) we went to Lanzarote for a week. I told them "DS won't be in next week as we're going on holiday", they said "ooh lovely, where are you going?...We'll see you in 2 weeks then DS".
No form, no nothing. Told them out of courtesy so they didn't expect him.

DD is there now but because DS in now in Yr1 we won't be taking her out unless it was for a hospital appointment or such like so I don't know if they'd be the same now but I imagine so

AliMonkey · 16/11/2023 21:06

There is a potential issue if a child gets the free hours but frequently isn't there for the claimed hours, ie couldn't be deemed to be regularly using those hours - basically the school would have to pay the funding back. So for example if they were never there on a Wed afternoon, they could only claim for 27 hours not 30.
(Or at least that's how it works in non-school pre-schools so assume it's the same.) But that is in no way affected by the occasional day off, or indeed a family holiday. So the school is talking nonsense. So don't fill in the form and just remind them the day before her birthday that she's not coming in. Or complain about the form, which is probably what I would do on principle.

honeylulu · 16/11/2023 21:26

Either ignore the form (you won't risk the place for the odd absence) or - this is what I would do - cross out all the bits you don't agree with, sign and hand back with a flourish.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 16/11/2023 21:47

I literally messaged my DS's nursery and say 'he's staying at home with me today, I want to spend time with him' end of. They still
get the funding! What is this fuckery

Original poster

Shittenshite · 16/11/2023 21:55

Thank you for your replies!

It's easy to say I shouldn't have told them. I wish I hadn't now, but the fact remains I did and I can't undo that. I told them out of courtesy.

My partner and I are still trying to decide what to do. Meanwhile I've ripped up the form in frustration because I REFUSE to sign a legal document which states that I "am saying that education is not important". It's probably 'just' red tape and protocol BUT I guess such things COULD be used against parents in a court of law further down the line if other issues arose (I don't know what they might be and am not suggesting there would or are likely to be further issues, however).

The other option which crossed my mind, as @honeylulu suggested, would be to cross out the bits of the form I don't agree with and sign it anyway, however, given my child's age I don't agree with the form in principle (not the things listed within the form but the fact that I'm being told I have to fill it in).

Anyway, I think it's pretty much decided that she won't be going to school that day as we have one (free) family day ticket to a local attraction which offers children an exciting, educational and hugely fun day out. We might change our minds on that, in which case it'll be telling the school that she won't be in on X day. If they ask for a reason (they will know the reason is because it's her birthday), I will not lie. I will tell them it's because it's her last birthday when she's not got to be in education and we intend to enjoy it with her whilst we can, and that will be that.

For the record, we've taken her out of school twice. Both times for medical appointments and both times she's either attended school and been taken out a little bit early for a mid-afternoon medical appointment, OR been taken to school, picked up, taken to the appointment then returned straight back to school. Never for any leisure activites! Happy to provide evidence of appointments to the school if necessary but I believe the fact remains that such strict rules are bollocks anyway. I do fully accept that it's a privilege to have 30 hours funded childcare and do not wish to 'abuse' that.

OP posts:

CherryMyBrandy · 17/11/2023 01:13

Why did you ask? It's not up to them. Just take her out. And they can fuck off with the shaming form as well. Schools are well overstepping and now is leaching out into fucking nursery when they have no authority whatsoever! Parents need to push bank on this madness!

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 09:03

@Shittenshite Definitely keep her home & have a lovely day.

let this be a lesson in telling not asking!

I wouldn't be signing that form, load of clap trap!

I wouldn't, but you could keep her home next year too.

Don't let this spoil your enjoyment of her birthday this year 🎂

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