What would you be doing as a ghost?

[spiderlight]

I had a dream last night in which I started this thread and it amused me when I woke up, so what the heck! Imagine you died today but stayed in your house as one of those boring non-interactive ghosts who just go through the same motions from the day they died for the rest of eternity (think Lady Button jumping out of the window at midnight every night in 'Ghosts'). What would you be stuck doing on repeat, based on your current daily rituals? I am currently in the depths of house-training with a new rescue dog, so the ghost of me in 100 years time would appear in the back garden on an hourly basis, wearing a huge old coat of DH's that has been deemed the Back Door Coat and saying 'Come on Daisy - wee-wees!'

I'd be on Mumsnet...

Mopping up myriad water leaks with towels, spinning towels, drying towels, repeating. Interspersed with emptying of buckets.

Oh god please, please, don't let me die today.

Squeegying the bloody shower doors

If it were exactly today, I’d play with the cat for several hours, attempt to clean a litter tray, and then haunt Mumsnet in between bouts of vomiting (stomach bug). The vomit would probably be ectoplasm.

I'd probably be walking the dog forever more - either that or washing up then putting the dry dishes away.

I refuse to be non interactive.

Ds2 has been at home sick today so I am going to appear whenever a child in the house is ill and look after them.

The conversation will go like this:

Future mother: Would you like anything to eat, ds?
Future sick child: No, it’s ok Mum, I’ve already had a bacon sandwich.
Future mother: Who made you a bacon sandwich?
Future child: The lady with the cold hands.

Scrolling on my phone, except I wouldn’t have an actual phone as a ghost so people in hundreds of years will ponder the meaning of my repetitive hand gestures.

Going food shopping and mopping up a sticky kitchen floor where my delightful children spoilt juice and no one apart from me thought to clean or up! Also having to watch on loop sone car repair shit on you tube thy my dh watches

Hoovering up Labrador hair, and feeding said labradors

Ironing for ever. The definition of purgatory.

Scooping shit out of the cat litter tray 🤢

Meal planning for all eternity

@TheCountessofFitzdotterel - I would love a ghost like that! Could you come and look after me when I'm ill as well, please? Because no bugger else does

Trying to get the dog to stop fecking barking at the back door.

Sorting clean washing and underwear.
Trying to pair bloody socks, why are there ALWAYS odd socks with no partner ?
My ghost would also say ‘For fucks sake !’ a lot 🤣😂

Doing an online food order (whilst simultaneously meal planning) whilst being absolutely freezing cold

God, this would be purgatory so hope I don't die today!

Have you considered that the dog is already barking at a ghost?

Only if the ghost takes the form of a builder working on a house behind us. Harry is incensed that he continues to be there and hasn't been scared off by his Mighty Woof.

Of course, but only after I’m dead, and only if you don’t murder me in order to bring this about.

Those of you who will be eternally scrolling on your phones can look forward to the future AIBU thread ‘AIBU to leave sick ds home alone to be looked after by a ghost’.

I've often thought if I was a ghost I'd be carrying endless piles of laundry up and down the stairs.

Peering at the toastie sandwich maker, willing it on...

I would look like a very sad, gloomy, head down type of ghost!

I would spend eternity watching Netflix and eating a toastie. I would be a very amiable ghost.

I'm going to haunt people that deserve it. I'll go into their computers and messages and forward things they've sent to others so everyone can see what they're like.
When they're plotting something nasty I'll whisper in their ear that they're being watched.
And they'll always have a flat tyre or need the battery replacing when they're in a hurry.
And a sign will appear at inopportune moments on their back reading "bully".
😁

Making a cuppa