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I found out today I have ADHD!

25 replies

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 16/11/2023 13:43

I have considered the fact I may be neurodivergent for a while but I now have an official diagnosis of ADHD with a spiky profile! Jury is still out on ASD at the moment but was goven a definite diagnosis for ADHD.

It’s an odd feeling!

OP posts:
Stresa22 · 16/11/2023 13:47

Does it help you make sense of your life and why you’ve made the decisions you’ve made?

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 16/11/2023 13:57

It does in some ways answer a lot of questions. I’m late 30’s and female and hadn’t considered the ADHD because of the stigma that ADHD is usually kids who act up in class and I wasn’t like that at school.

OP posts:
DrRichardWebber · 16/11/2023 14:02

Can you tell us a bit more about your symptoms please? I feel like I fit the profile in a lot of ways. I’m very emotional, anxious, make impulsive decisions.

Rainbows89 · 16/11/2023 14:05

Welcome to the club! I was diagnosed about two years ago.

how are you feeling?

Jk987 · 16/11/2023 14:16

Well done on getting a diagnosis. Was it done privately or NHS? Can share details on wait times, cost and process? Thank you!

duffed · 16/11/2023 14:42

Congratulations! I've recently got my autism diagnosis in my early thirties - I was so relieved to find there was a reason - for me it felt almost like finding the meaning of life, be gentle as you unpack this for yourself as its a lot to get your head around.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 16/11/2023 15:42

It was a private diagnosis and paid for by work. I have been having assessments for the last couple of weeks but waited about 3 months for them.

Symptoms for the person that asked: I’m tactless to a fault, I fidget (a lot), I don’t sit for very long, I have sensory issues with noise, I have severe self confidence issues and I’m awful with conversations.

OP posts:
user746016 · 16/11/2023 15:59

You can't really tell from other people's symptoms though.

OP says "I’m tactless to a fault, I fidget (a lot), I don’t sit for very long, I have sensory issues with noise, I have severe self confidence issues and I’m awful with conversations."

I also have ADHD. I'm not tactless at all, I'm observant and watch people's signals so I'm the opposite. I don't fidget much and I am happy sitting for long periods (its my brain that is on the go, not my body), I am very confident and I'm good with conversations and social situations. I do have sensory issues with noise if it interferes with my thinking (but not otherwise), but that's the only way we match up.

ADHD can present in numerous different ways. My brain fires in multiple directions and so I find it extremely difficult to focus. It's like it's pinging with different thoughts and ideas constantly. It means I really struggle to finish things I start and I have multiple projects on the go at once. I also move too quickly through conversations with people and so I can come across as impatient in meetings etc. I also have a natural tendency to interrupt because my brain is moving faster than others are expressing their thoughts. I'm dreadfully forgetful because I flit from thing to thing. I don't always take in what others say if they're speaking around me because I'm concentrating on what my own brain is doing (usually juggling 20 different thoughts). I have to be focussed on the speaker otherwise it will go in one ear and out of the other. I'm ultra bossy and quite controlling.

Deathraystare · 16/11/2023 16:01

For anyone interested I have been following a lady on You tube. I cannot get into it now as at work but do a search for ADHD. There is a lady who has one side of her hair green. She has a partner/husband and they talk about what she is like. How she never finishes anything, will be late whenever they go out, leaves wet clothes in washing machine for days, is untidy but then goes mad cleaning up.

WingedHermes · 16/11/2023 16:08

I was diagnosed on the NHS last year at the age of 43. I initially felt very angry and let down as life is such a struggle in many ways and I wondered how things could have been with an earlier diagnosis, support and medication. These days I find it liberating. Yes, I'm different to most people but there's a reason for that. I'm kinder to myself for the things I struggle with and I've done lots of research to understand and try and support myself more.

OldTinHat · 16/11/2023 16:20

I got diagnosed via the NHS a few months ago. I'm 52. Suddenly, everything made sense!

I'm sure you feel the same OP, the falling into place kind of thing. Will you medicate? I chose to.

OldTinHat · 16/11/2023 16:21

@Deathraystare that lady and her husband are on Tiktok too. I can't remember her name either!

Smartstuffed · 16/11/2023 16:29

Good luck OP with your life going forward. The good thing is that there is a lot of advice out there on the internet; much of it good.

@user746016 is right - it does present differently - definitely not a one-size-fits-all condition. I'm more like user746 but with differences.

Getting my diagnosis many years ago now, at 45, meant I didn't waste so much time berating myself and wondering why I had or hadn't managed to do something and failed again. I knew why!

The relief of getting a diagnosis morphed into a period of grieving for 'what might have been' were it not for the ADHD. I wasn't really prepared for that.

OhpoorMe · 16/11/2023 17:01

is right - it does present differently - definitely not a one-size-fits-all condition. I'm more like user746 but with differences.

Does anyone understand the criteria for diagnoses then, if it can look so different? Seems like there's no common set of characteristics.

Darhon · 16/11/2023 17:11

There are a few subsets and I think some differences between ADD and ADHD. So there is variance. My own view is that the digital age has exposed cases that would never have come to light as we now live in a world where you never have to switch off. For the first 20 years of my life, the TV was relatively limited, you had to sit with nothing to do whilst waiting for things, talk to people at dinner etc, etc. That’s been completely overhauled with the mobile smart phone. I think there are a lot of adaptive advantages with ADD/ADHD but we’ve tipped over into a world where it’s much easier to get overwhelmed

FizzyStream · 16/11/2023 17:13

Welcome to the club! I was diagnosed two and a half years ago at the age of 39. It does take a while to get used to and there can be some bitterness I've found but it's good to know why you feel and act the way you do.

ReadtheReviews · 16/11/2023 17:14

I tick allllll the boxes, even the quite random ones. However, although it makes my life make sense I haven't chased a diagnosis because I wouldn't do anything with it. I'm happy on my antidepressants and don't want to rock the medical boat. I fear that it would make me less employable if I declared it. So, I really wouldn't benefit from it other than naming the way my brain is different. What are you planning on doing OP?

warriorofhopelessness · 16/11/2023 17:26

user746016 · 16/11/2023 15:59

You can't really tell from other people's symptoms though.

OP says "I’m tactless to a fault, I fidget (a lot), I don’t sit for very long, I have sensory issues with noise, I have severe self confidence issues and I’m awful with conversations."

I also have ADHD. I'm not tactless at all, I'm observant and watch people's signals so I'm the opposite. I don't fidget much and I am happy sitting for long periods (its my brain that is on the go, not my body), I am very confident and I'm good with conversations and social situations. I do have sensory issues with noise if it interferes with my thinking (but not otherwise), but that's the only way we match up.

ADHD can present in numerous different ways. My brain fires in multiple directions and so I find it extremely difficult to focus. It's like it's pinging with different thoughts and ideas constantly. It means I really struggle to finish things I start and I have multiple projects on the go at once. I also move too quickly through conversations with people and so I can come across as impatient in meetings etc. I also have a natural tendency to interrupt because my brain is moving faster than others are expressing their thoughts. I'm dreadfully forgetful because I flit from thing to thing. I don't always take in what others say if they're speaking around me because I'm concentrating on what my own brain is doing (usually juggling 20 different thoughts). I have to be focussed on the speaker otherwise it will go in one ear and out of the other. I'm ultra bossy and quite controlling.

Quite a lot of that is very familiar to me!

TaaLaa · 16/11/2023 17:30

Can I ask what a spikey profile is please?

BertieBotts · 16/11/2023 17:57

Yes, it's what's known as a spectrum condition, so there are a set of 18 diagnostic criteria across two subtypes. Nine symptoms relating to inattentiveness (if you have five of these, you're considered primarily inattentive) and nine relating to hyperactivity, so if you have five of these you're considered primarily hyperactive. If you have at least five of each, then you're considered combined type.

So two people with the same presentation of ADHD will always have one main symptom in common, but the other four could be totally different. It is thought that there are two main presentations, which is why there are two symptom lists.

Also, the criteria must be occurring more severely and/or significantly more often than in other adults of your gender/culture, and they must be causing impairment (e.g. bad school grades, lost jobs, financial losses, failed relationships, poor parenting, car accidents, trouble with the police, difficulty sticking to medical treatment regime etc etc) in at least 2 areas.

Also, the problems must not be better explained by another disorder. So for example if you're a chronic insomniac and you're always forgetting things, that might not be ADHD, it might just be that you're tired. If you struggle to get out of bed but you're also depressed, it might be the depression. This is why currently it's required to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

It is a bit more complicated than this in reality, but this is what the DSM says.

The main thing that's more complicated is that the adult form of the disorder has not been studied as much as the children's form, since it was thought entirely until 1980, and still mostly until around 20 years ago that it was purely a disorder of childhood, and that most children would outgrow it with only a few continuing symptoms of inattention into adulthood. What actually happens in reality is that people with ADHD typically outgrow the childhood symptoms. They still have ADHD, but ADHD in adults looks different to ADHD in children. When it was first included in the adult section of the DSM (edition 3) they just ported over the children's symptoms and changed the wording (e.g. swapping "school" for "work" and rather than "the child is unable to play quietly" it's something like "cannot engage in leisure activities quietly") In childhood, you need at least six symptoms from either list to be diagnosed whereas in more recent DSM editions for adults the criteria is only five, and there's an argument that this ought to be reduced to four in the next DSM version. The problem is that changing the DSM is quite a stringent process understandably, so in order to get something changed you have to prove that it "improves the accuracy of diagnosis to a degree that outweighs the downsides of changing the criteria".

So often the symptoms that you will find adults discussing on internet forums etc will not necessarily align with the ones written down in the DSM. The DSM is just a diagnostic manual, so it's not intended to be a list of the most relevant characteristics, just the characteristics that most often differentiate people with ADHD from the general population. And the adult characteristics are still based on the child criteria, even though adult symptoms typically vary.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 16/11/2023 18:16

The spiky profile was described to me as having significant cognitive deficits in some areas and being above average in other areas. Basically my strengths and weaknesses don’t align in a normal way. I’ll probably be able to explain better once I get my formal report.

To the person who asked what I’m going to do now…not a lot to be honest. But HR and work will be able to give me some accommodations around needing to take breaks from my desk and keep me away from large offices with significant noise levels.

@user746016 I am also dreadfully forgetful, I have to have lists upon lists and alarms set for everything! I resonate with some of your other symptoms too, I didn’t put a long list of mine because I was picking kids up from school. It really is quite hard to list how it affects you I think-but you definitely managed it far more eloquently than me 😆.

OP posts:
headcheffer · 16/11/2023 18:46

Deathraystare · 16/11/2023 16:01

For anyone interested I have been following a lady on You tube. I cannot get into it now as at work but do a search for ADHD. There is a lady who has one side of her hair green. She has a partner/husband and they talk about what she is like. How she never finishes anything, will be late whenever they go out, leaves wet clothes in washing machine for days, is untidy but then goes mad cleaning up.

Like a PP said, ADHD presents differently in inattentive type. I watched the couple you're talking about and read the book, and I couldn't relate to any of it. The book makes her come across as almost infantile and her husband her carer. In the book they describe her as being unable to remember to wash, change her tampon, and pretty much do anything.

I'm a high achieving, successful woman who doesn't need help remembering to wash. I am also diagnosed inattentive ADHD.

anythinginapinch · 16/11/2023 19:06

user746016 · 16/11/2023 15:59

You can't really tell from other people's symptoms though.

OP says "I’m tactless to a fault, I fidget (a lot), I don’t sit for very long, I have sensory issues with noise, I have severe self confidence issues and I’m awful with conversations."

I also have ADHD. I'm not tactless at all, I'm observant and watch people's signals so I'm the opposite. I don't fidget much and I am happy sitting for long periods (its my brain that is on the go, not my body), I am very confident and I'm good with conversations and social situations. I do have sensory issues with noise if it interferes with my thinking (but not otherwise), but that's the only way we match up.

ADHD can present in numerous different ways. My brain fires in multiple directions and so I find it extremely difficult to focus. It's like it's pinging with different thoughts and ideas constantly. It means I really struggle to finish things I start and I have multiple projects on the go at once. I also move too quickly through conversations with people and so I can come across as impatient in meetings etc. I also have a natural tendency to interrupt because my brain is moving faster than others are expressing their thoughts. I'm dreadfully forgetful because I flit from thing to thing. I don't always take in what others say if they're speaking around me because I'm concentrating on what my own brain is doing (usually juggling 20 different thoughts). I have to be focussed on the speaker otherwise it will go in one ear and out of the other. I'm ultra bossy and quite controlling.

And we'd get on like a house on fire :) also adhd diagnosed and sound just like you

GruffalosGirl · 16/11/2023 19:11

Congratulations doesn't sound quite right, but I hope knowing helps you. I got my diagnosis 5 years ago. I found it has helped me understand myself so much better. And it has meant I'm less negative about myself as I know why I struggle with certain things and that I'm not just lazy or flaky.

I went through a real grieving process of what could've been if only I'd known earlier when I found out, and spent a lot of time looking back at my life and reassessing my past experiences and relationships. It took me a while to come to terms with, even though I had suspected for a long time and DS had already been diagnosed. I'm really glad I got diagnosed though, and I have learnt how to work with my ADHD much better now as a result.

J316 · 16/11/2023 19:23

I was diagnosed about 4 months ago and I’m 50 next month 😳 took a while to sink in but makes a lot of sense.

I’ve decided to try medication after speaking to psychiatrist yesterday, just need my blood pressure checked at GP and hopefully will start sometime next week.

My head is constantly noisy and loud, different conversations and songs, can’t get organised, house a constant tip, constantly overthinking and overwhelmed. Has definitely got worse since menopause so I even struggle to read, cross-stitch or upcycle furniture. So looking forward to seeing how meds can help 😀

My autistic daughter was diagnosed yesterday so we will be starting together 😁 my grandson is waiting on an assessment and the youngest won’t be far behind 😵‍💫

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