Help! What to do about 5 year old...

[Nosleepindays]

.. night waking?

DS5 usually sleeps great. The last week has been so bad it's like having a newborn again. Every couple of hours he comes through to wake me up saying he's scared. He's not anxious in the day, no issues at school or anything.

I'm torn as I'm not sure how much is him being scared or if its a behaviour thing. He doesn't cry or seem particularly distressed. Often he comes through half asleep, I take him back to his room and he's asleep again in seconds so it seems a bit unnecessary.

Through the week the wakings have become more frequent and he takes longer to go back to sleep. He refuses to lay down or close his eyes sometimes.

I feel like such a bad mum but I am struggling. I have a stressful job and am exhausted.

Do I need to suck it up for a while and just sleep with him? Or will it make things worse long term?
How can I encourage him to wake up less? How to tackle his fears? It's usually a baddie from a book he says he is scared of or something else from his imagination (a car with yellow fog around it tonight apparently!)

Any advice welcome, I find lack of sleep really triggers my anxiety and I'm not really the best mum at the moment.

I absolutely feel you! I'm a monster on no sleep and have just been going through it AGAIN. The clock change messes my kids up EVERY time. That combined with Halloween makes for a pretty tortures time.
I currently have my 10 year old in bed with me as he's convinced there is a ghost in his room and that's been the story for the past 8 days. My 5 year old would scream and cry going to bed, he would not be to bad during the night but getting him to sleep would be awful. For this we have introduced a sleep chart, do 2 nights behaving he gets a treat then 3 nights then 4 more etc. it's worked really well for him.
My 8 year olds time to shine is from 11pm onwards where he will be up and down crying about being scared until we give in and either let him in with us or get in with him. My husband is bedding down in his room (on an airbed in the room so he doesn't get used to having someone in his bed with him) It's to get him back in the routine of sleeping right through the night. I think after 4 nights we might be there! We have also downloaded and been playing a child hypnosis for fear thing every night at bed time to him. Not sure if any of these things will work for you but maybe an idea somewhere in there to try.

Next mission is to tackle the 10 year old, no idea what we will do with this one though!
Good luck in finding an answer.

Dream and being scared is quite normal.

I'm assuming you have a night light? Or leave door open and another light on?

Gosh @Potter10 I really feel for you! I do think it's because of Halloween for us as well. Damn you Halloween!
At least I only have the one to worry about. Our toddler is luckily sleeping properly this week, when they are both up at night I feel massively overwhelmed.

You've also made me realise this could go on for a few years! I naively thought that once we made it through the newborn stage we'd never be sleep deprived again! I think that's why I'm finding it so hard this week, I'm just not used to it anymore, it's a shock to the system.

I also worry that he'll start being too tired at school, he was a zombie by 5pm yesterday. I will try the sticker chart with him if it's worked for your 5 year old.

@Spencer0220 yes he has a Nightlight and door open. Our upstairs is tiny so we are literally right next to him at night, just a thin wall between us.

Strange question, have you checked he isn't getting up because he needs the loo? One of my nephews wouldn't sleep through and it transpired he didn't realise he needed a pee. He'd wake up and not be able to sleep again. Once he'd gone, he went back to sleep.

I would make up a sort of bed on your bedroom floor, and tell him if he's scared it's OK to come into your room, and curl up on the makeshift bed, but unless there is a big problem (defined in this house as poo in the wrong place, blood or puke), Mum needs to sleep.

My DS is 5 next month and has recently started night waking again.

DH was getting really grumpy about it because it was waking him up and he felt compelled to but DS back in his own bed. I suggested we not bother and just let him sleep with us so that we all get some sleep (albeit with a few more kicks/smacks from DS who is a big fidget!)

We put a pillow at the foot of our bed. If DS wakes and comes in, he grabs the pillow, puts it between us and goes back to sleep. Some mornings I don't even realise that he's come in until I see him 😂

It will pass. Do whatever you need to for your family to get you all some sleep, even if it isn't what you are 'supposed' to do.

Once our children were old enough we had a talk and made it clear that they were always, always welcome in our bed if they needed us and we’d never turn them away but they were old enough to just come in themselves and we didn’t want to have to get up in the night anymore (excepting emergencies obviously).

Thanks all. @Stephisaur unfortunately I struggle massively if he's in bed with us (unlike DH who sleeps like a log in any circumstance). We have a normal sized double bed and it gets quite cramped. I find they both stretch out and I'm on the edge of the bed trying not to fall out and not to move so DS doesn't wake again! Not ideal conditions to drift off!

Maybe we'll use a makeshift bed as suggested by @FallingAutumnLeaf when we get too desperate for sleep.

@Spencer0220 good point actually, it might be worth prompting just in case it can at least help how quickly he goes back to sleep.

I found myself begging him to go to sleep at 3am and probably made the whole thing worse! He said "mummy when people are scared, people should help them" which broke my heart.

@Nosleepindays oh god, I definitely couldn't do it in a double bed. Makeshift bed sounds like a good compromise!

We have periods of this and we use a chart - sticker every night, toy if he gets 12 stickers and by then the behaviour is set.

We also found a night light sorted most of it.

When mine was smaller and going through similar I also did the makeshift bed. It was comfy and nice but my son was told that he was absolutely fine to come in there and go to sleep BUT if he woke me up, he would have to go back to his own bed because I need sleep too.
He managed to creep in and sleep in the makeshift bed very well! I’m quite a heavy sleeper, but at least I didn’t have to get up.