Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

At what stage do I PALS this?

13 replies

vipersnest1 · 15/11/2023 21:39

It's a bit of a tale, sorry, but I've added the detail now in the hope I don't get accused of drip feeding later.
I had surgery for multiple prolapses twelve years ago (over two operations).
One of the prolapses started to reappear five years ago but was manageable.
Around three years ago it started to be really troublesome, so two years ago this December my GP referred me to Gynaecology.
Gynaecology said I didn't have a prolapse and referred me to colorectal, who said I did, but that I also had an issue with my pelvic floor.
Cue a whole avalanche of tests - for bowel cancer, physiology (which is nowhere as innocuous as it sounds) and then on to seeing a women's physio to address the pelvic floor issue.
I've complied with it all, even when I've been reduced to crying in appointments due to how degrading the whole thing is and how it's affected my self esteem.
Moving forward to recently, I saw the colorectal surgeon in early September, and as a result of a long discussion we agreed that I would undertake a physiology test again, to see how far the prolapse had gone and also to prove (from my point of view) that my pelvic floor is no longer an issue.
He told me he would like me to get this done urgently so he could discuss my case with the MDT, as he would need a second surgeon because my case is complicated. The discussion was supposed to take place around the change of the month from September to October. I did the test and know the results were sent the same day as the physiologist told me she would write up and send the report immediately.
I heard nothing, so emailed around three weeks ago (having managed to find the consultant's NHS email - I'd already tried calling and got nothing but answer machines and having left messages, never had a reply). I got back a reply from his secretary, saying that the results were waiting for the surgeon to review and I would hear 'in due course'.
I've still heard nothing and know that another MDT meeting has happened in the meantime.
I've gone round in circles for two years now and my life is miserable.
So, to my questions....
Do I try one last time to contact the secretary?
Do I go straight to PALS?
Or do I wait, and wait, and wait?
This situation is awful. I have some other health issues going on, so every time I get a hospital letter (I can recognise them a mile off now), my heart is in my mouth, wondering if I've finally got some kind of resolution.
What would you do in my situation?
TIA if you've read this far.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 15/11/2023 22:07

So sorry you've gone through all of this. If I'd been through all of that and still had no resolution after 2 years I'd be straight to PALS. Maybe give secretary 1more call and if the answer is still waiting then go ahead. It's not right that whilst dealing with other issues as well that you've got to be strung along like that. Really hope you can get it sorted 💐

vipersnest1 · 15/11/2023 22:11

Thanks, @Devilsmommy. It's all a bit rubbish, let alone I'd love to have a relationship, but that's a big no just now.

OP posts:
waterproofed · 15/11/2023 22:15

Definitively PALS time. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and appalled the NHS is actually making it worse.

Devilsmommy · 15/11/2023 22:16

So sorry @vipersnest1 . I can't imagine how hard it must be for you feeling like your on hold until you can have your surgery. Have you got friends who can support you in little ways so you're not alone? You're obviously a strong woman because I don't think I could have gone through 2 years of tests and doctors without breaking. Sending virtual support and hope for a quick resolution for you💐😊

vipersnest1 · 15/11/2023 22:23

Thanks @Devilsmommy and @waterproofed.
It has been difficult - I'm also dealing with fibromyalgia which was diagnosed just over two years ago (I'm back at work but it's hard going) and I have arthritis which is wrecking my back and hands. I also have neurological symptoms in my legs and one arm (hence why I can recognise a hospital letter!)
I don't really have any friends (I moved here just under ten years ago and all I do is go to work, come back and try to recover and maintain my home), but I do have a few people I can offload some of it to at work, and I can do the same with my adult DCs, but no-one knows the full details of how the prolapse affects me, except medical professionals. It was suggested to me by the women's physio that I should be comfortable discussing things with others - NO.
It's rubbish and it's not a normal way to live when there is a treatment available.

OP posts:
vipersnest1 · 16/11/2023 10:37

I've just sent this. It will be interesting to see if I get a response and how soon.
I'll give it a week and then I'm going to PALS.
This waiting is really having an impact on me.

At what stage do I PALS this?
OP posts:
Nolongerlight · 16/11/2023 10:40

I found PALS at my health board to be absolutely appalling. They completely saw their job as defending the health staff and service. They made a terrible situation even worse.

I hope yours is better.

vipersnest1 · 16/11/2023 17:00

Well, the gods are with me. I've just had a call from the secretary to say I've been approved for surgery. I'm crying with relief.
I've been referred to another surgeon, which I think (hope) is a good thing.

OP posts:
PattyDukeAstin · 16/11/2023 17:08

Sorry this is so difficult. I am glad you are moving forward. Keep pushing. Where I live PALS are absolutely dreadful and do everything they can to support the NHS rather than the patient. It is a bit like contacting Sendias if you want to complain about SN Education - useless.

vipersnest1 · 16/11/2023 17:13

I forgot to tag you, @Devilsmommy, @Nolongerlight and @waterproofed. I just thought I'd let you know as you were kind enough to post. 
@PattyDukeAstin, that was going to be my next step. I'm amazed that I got a call after only sending my email this morning.
I suspect that they have read between the lines and could see my intention (as in complain) and replied, as the surgeon had finally taken my case to the MDT.
The secretary apologised and said she knew I'd been waiting a long time.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 16/11/2023 17:23

@vipersnest1 so so happy for you 😊 about time too. Let's hope that everything moves forward quickly and you get relief asap. Take care of yourself 💐

PattyDukeAstin · 16/11/2023 17:23

That's good. In the end my GP wrote a letter to the consultant saying that it was an emergency and I was offered the surgery within the next month. However that was 10yrs ago. The surgery was life changing. Hope you get your appointment soon.

vipersnest1 · 16/11/2023 18:36

Thanks @Devilsmommy. I'm not holding my breath but hope I don't have to wait too much longer.
@PattyDukeAstin, I know how life-changing it can be. Last time, my main symptom was pain. This time, it's not only pain but living with something that makes me feel completely abnormal. At least I know I can get that sorted at some point now.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page