Help with phrasing a totally normal, inconsequential message because I'm an actual idiot.

[ArtisticGina]

I feel like a fool writing this – please don’t judge me. I’m autistic and I struggle with being normal in interactions with acquaintances (I’m ok with actual friends), especially conversations/texts which need me to push back or suggest something different. It’s really stupid – I just find it hard to phrase saying “that won’t work for me” or “I can’t do that” etc. In my head it becomes a much bigger thing, like I’m instigating an argument.

Anyhow, I’ve been working on putting myself ‘out there’ and trying new things. As part of this, for 6-months I’ve been seeing a PT 2xweekly (one evening, one w/e morning) on a PAYG basis. Last session (a few weeks back), I told him I could only do 1xweekly from now (the w/e morning session) because of the dark evenings – we do our sessions outdoors.

He’s texted today and wants to move to upfront block bookings/payment, not PAYG. But the amount he’s asking would cover 2xweekly sessions, not 1.

I need to reply and tell him I can only do 1xweekly session and so I can pay upfront but it’d have to be half the amount he’s quoted. I think he’s forgotten about our conversation about moving to 1xweekly sessions.

Does this sound ok:

Hey {PT} Yes, happy to pay upfront for a month of sessions. But last time, we said we’d reduce to once a week over winter because of the dark nights – so 4 sessions a month on Sunday mornings, £XX? So, I can’t do Wed 22nd but can we book for Saturday 25th, usual time?

Thanks so much, lovely MNers 😊

This is a perfectly constructed and fine message! 😊

That's fine, but don't feel you have to over explain it. It's a business arrangement, it's ok to put something like "Hi, yes it's fine to pay upfront. Just a reminder that I'd like to switch to one session a week - you've put the cost for two sessions so I'd like to confirm you have me down for one session a week from now on."

Thank you both! You're right @AtomicBlondeRose that it is a business arrangement but we're not too formal/business-like.
We've known each other several years so its a bit more like how you'd talk to a hairdresser I guess - not 'friends' but also a bit more than just someone you're doing business with IYSWIM.

I'm exactly the same OP. I really struggle with how I'll be perceived in messages (and general interactions). I tend to put every detail in too as being factual and not misunderstood is a big deal for me.

Your message sounds perfect.

@WhichIsItWendy Yep - I worry that people will read my messages as confrontational even though I know they're perfectly normal messages to send.

The irony is that I'm not actually afraid of confrontational interactions over text or in real-life. I mean if someone is clearly and openly hostile or confrontational to me, I actually have no problem being the same back.

My anxiety comes from the chance that my messages might be perceived as starting a confrontation.

I know I'm insane.

Anyhow, have just sent the message. Now having a brew and a ginger nut to calm down 😂

Looks fine.

One easy way for all scenarios like this is to just write or talk like it's the first time you've mentioned it.

Similar if you ask a question and you feel the person hasn't understood it when asking, in that case I might listen, and ask again in a different way without bothering to mention they've not understood it as I meant it

If it's important, maybe reference having mentioned it a little cautiously like "I don't know if you remember, but .." and then say what you'd like to do. I think the key is not sounding upset or angry that someone has forgotten something as much as possible. Something I find difficult sometimes, it often feels like my memory is better than average