How to go to the pub poor - Advice please

[LylaLee]

I'm in a hobby group with lovely people. One is leaving so we are going to the pub on Friday.

Problem 1: I've never really been to the pub with a group and I don't know the etiquette.
Problem 2: I've probably got about £10 max to spend (not London, £10 should cover two drinks).

I was planning on just nursing a glass of wine and a glass of coke or something.

But we were talking about it last night, and someone said something like 'On Friday Steve's getting the first round!'

I can't afford to buy a round for +- ten people.

I don't want to accept a round then not reciprocate.

I suppose I could walk up to the bar and buy my own single drink, but I don't know how to do that without being rude.

I could walk in, order a drink, then find their table, but that would be rude too.

Please help.

white wine spritzer is fine to drink - people will often have one if they are driving and just want the one drink.

Agree with getting lime and soda, if anyone is funny about it just say you’re on a health kick and you need to drink more water but you don’t like it plain. I often get lime and soda because it’s really refreshing.

I've always announced not doing rounds- they're expensive if you're not on expensive drinks
My cheap goto drink is a pint of blackcurrant and soda water, I'm not a fan of coke and it's much cheaper.

And if you are watching the cash I recommend a large bottle of sparkling water and a large glass of wine. Should be manageable with £10 and you can make a spritzer with it. Ask for a hiball to go with your water then you can divide up your wine into two glasses and top it up.

If you order a white wine spritzer, specify with soda - around here they'll otherwise do it with lemonade - more expensive (and not very nice imho)

Yes you go up to the bar and either ask for
'Soda water with ice and lime' if you want it as a soft drink

Or
'A white wine spritzer' if you want alcohol. They might ask you if you want ice. Or whether you want lemonade or soda water. It's usually soda water but I've been asked they before! So now I get in first and ask for 'a white wine spritzer, with soda water not lemonade.'

They might ask what wine you want. My pub doesn't but it will usually be Sauvignon blanc or Pinot Grigio by default.

They won't think anything of it. You might be driving. You might not be a drinker at all. You might be having a night off. You might be pregnant. You might be on nasty antibiotics. They won't care. They won't think you're poor! They won't give it any thought at all.

Also if I'm make a spritzer I actually prefer rose, it feels more substantial

I sometimes go out in a big group with colleagues, and we all buy single drinks. It’s too expensive otherwise, and I wouldn’t have 10 drinks! I don’t think people will expect to buy rounds in that situation.

I don't understand round buying myself. People all drink at different rates and if I want to buy people a drink I don't expect one in return. It's completely stupid in large groups and encourages reckless drinking. Just buy your own and suit yourself. It's not that deep.

I doubt they're expecting to have ten drinks so it was probably just a joke. I wouldn't bother mentioning it in advance, just get there and buy your own drink. If anyone tries to get you one just say "thanks but I'm only having a couple so I won't get into rounds" or similar.

No need to put anything on the group chat, just go to the bar yourself and if asked say 'I'll just get my own thanks tonight, bit of a tight month for rounds!'

Almost everyone will understand and have been there.

If someone insists they want to include you and don't expect one back then it's up to you. If you prefer not to you can say 'that's really kind but I wasn't going to have too many anyway!'. Just be jovial and keep the convo moving.

People will just be happy you're there and unlikely to push the matter.

Yes to lime cordial and soda! Pint of with ice. It's nice and refreshing and cheap. Good for alternating your drinks even if you're drinking alcohol as it keeps you hydrated.

It's much better value to get a large glass of house wine and make it last than two small ones. You can have this made into a spritzer with soda

Thanks all. I'm feeling better about it.

No, I pretty much always drink wine and soda - it's a don't want to get pissed drink in my book. And yes, just ask for a small house white in a big wine glass topped up with soda. Its also called a spritzer but you need to specify soda because otherwise you might get lemonade with your wine. 🙂

It's easy. When whoever it is asks you what you want, you just say "It's ok thanks, I'm just getting my own this time". If they keep going on about it and practically insist on buying you a drink, then just have a coke or something.

No need to say anything in advance, just opt out at the time. DH and I used to do this all the time when first together and skint. "Thanks but we'll go independent tonight as we can't afford a round". Never any issues as I remember.

OP you've had some great advice.

Remember you aren't the only one who might be struggling right now. I never buy in a round as I only have one alcoholic drink when I go out. I either say I'm driving or "watching the pennies" which approaching Christmas plenty of people will be, really I just don't want to pay £££ for other people to get drunk whilst im drinking lemonade.

I'm partial to a pint of soda water and lime! I would definitely say you don't want to do rounds as you won't be drinking alcohol/much and be confident when you say it.

I know how it is to feel anxious about things like this. I find it's good to have a plan.

So...
walk in, go say hello to the table and claim a seat. Take your jacket/ hat etc off.
If anyone asks if you'd like a drink or they're organising rounds say "thank you but it's ok I'm going to get my own. Thank you though." (Don't need a reason.)
Go to bar and ask for small white wine spritzer with soda water please.
Enjoy.

I hate rounds for this reason. Often when I'm skint I feel I have to avoid social events because I can't be generous.

I know others have answered this but just to add another voice:

Do you just ask for 'white wine and soda?'
Yes

Is it an obvious 'I'm poor!' drink?
No, it's a very common drink, lots of people have it to make it a longer more refreshing drink, or to limit the amount of alcohol they consume. Definitely not a poor person's drink.

But we were talking about it last night, and someone said something like 'On Friday Steve's getting the first round

Whoever posted that was probably just teasing 'Steve'. The chances of anyone doing a 10round in the sort of group you are in is practically zero. It's not the least bit odd to order for yourself.

Follow up: I got there ten minutes after the meeting time. Everyone was there already and they had pints, wine, etc. Some had a cocktail from a pitcher and there were several empty glasses. Steve had bought the pitcher, and when I said I'd get something from the bar he said, 'go on, I'm not going to finish the pitcher myself.'

A few other people poured from the pitcher into their wine/pint glasses when they finished their drink. Some ordered more beers and different drinks for themselves at the bar. Steve ordered a second pitcher. In total I had two from the pitcher.

I hope that gave you more confidence for next time. 😊

(For reference, I always start with a pint of lime and soda, then decide if I want to stay for a shandy)

It did, thanks. We only stayed for a couple of hours. It was more of a farewell drink, than 'out out'.