Should I change my DS' name spelling? WWYD?

[Aimee1983]

We have 4 year old with a lovely name. The name has two spellings and we have gone with the less usual spelling because it's more in keeping with the child's ancestral roots. Think along the lines or Mark/Marc or John/Jon etc, so nothing crazy. The issues that we're having are:

1. The name needs to be spelled out every time as people naturally would reach for a more usual version.
2. I noticed that native English speakers tend to get letters mixed up in the name when reading it for the first time, although it reads as it's written and it really short! I believe there would not be this confusion if the name was spelt in a more usual form.
3. Every time we get a card or an invite from neighbours, acquaintances, work colleagues etc. it has the usual spelling.
4. Autocorrect doesn't recognise this version, which is fine with me, but whenever someone will type his name now or when he's older (thinking mates, work colleagues etc.) the name will be unrecognised or autocorrected into something else.
5. The last name is already long and needs spelling out, so it's the first and the last name that needs spelling out.
6. The DS is now learning to write and read and said he prefers the usual spelling - must have been some older kids at school who told him about the alternative spelling.
7. Whilst the current spelling is more in keeping with the family roots, DS doesn't speak that language and is unlikely to live in that region.

I'm thinking if we are to change the spelling, then best do it sooner rather than later, before DS accumulates lots of mementos with the current spelling. WWYD?

BTW, I have a foreign name myself and changed the spelling by deed poll years ago, because it was impossible to read it out correctly in English. I still need to spell it every time and a lot of people struggle to pronounce it, so I use a short version for work and friends and tell people my name is Anna or Amy in a Starbucks type of queue. I find this a bit of a faff and want to make my son's life easier.

My DS has Irish name with anglicised spelling and we still have to spell it out.

I'd leave it!

This might be an option. Not sure how that would work at school though, but otherwise accept both spellings day-to-day and not get too hung up on it? That'd be a first!

ShoesoftheWorld · Today 13:18

I can't help feeling that changing the spelling would be acquiescing to a peculiarly English attitude of 'why can't everyone else just do it the English way?' It's a shame to reduce diversity rather than maintaining it - and I can't help thinking that's especially so given there's little contact to the spelling's roots incorporated into his life.

The problem I have is that people are changing the origin of my name and now the spelling to non English versions in situations where the spelling is important.

It's not the fact that people don't know how to pronounce it, and some versions actually sound a lot nicer, although not the correct spelling for that either, it's the mis-spelling in a medical environment.

In English is it a traditional name, but in other countries also a traditional name, but with a different spelling. I have now encountered a version that I don't think exists anywhere.

Spelling a name correctly can be much more important than just not quite getting it right. I have had a lifetime of it being pronounced wrongly and also of having to spell it out.

Make it as easy as possible, it gets very tiresome having a lifetime of people not paying attention or being aware of the differences.

I agree some really struggle but I still think people should still ask and at least try if it’s a name they will have to keep saying. It’s ignorant to not try. WIth the name you just gave, I assume it sounds quite different to its spelling. So I’d ask a colleague for instance to say it and write a phonetic reminder to myself, if it was difficult to remember even.

My DD has a name that can be legitimately spelled 3 ways (think Katherine/Catherine/Kathryn) and it's not really a problem. I chose the version she has for a reason.
I have this. Not Catherine/Katherine, but similar. Mine is spelled with a K, but people who don't know me invariably spell it with a C.
You'll get this regardless. If you're happy with the spelling, keep it.

I dunno - my experience in Germany is that people are much less fazed by international variants of all kinds, even in the fairly provincial bit of it I live in. There's not much of a notion of people being teased for having 'unusual' names. I'll be more specific and say this attitude I mean is about language, which obv includes naming. (Cf. threads passim on here mocking names of non-English origin as 'chavvy', 'downmarket' and the like).

Don't change the spelling OP.

DC has a foreign surname. I was worried she'd spend he life spelling it. But tough, that's her name.

Turns out, most people can spell it fine, especially after one or two failed attempts. However, many people manage to misspell /mispronounce/substitute for a totally different one the very straightforward, English name we have her to avoid any confusion! 🤯.

People will misspell regardless. You have. reason for the original spelling. Keep it, is my advice.

If your child ends up in a career with regular background checks, a name change will create extra headaches. You will be trading one problem for another.

just keep the name.

I have no issues with b/g checks having changed my name by deed poll. Once I updated my passport, bank records and driving licence I don't recall the last time I needed to get out my deed poll.
However, I would imagine working somewhere in government with regular deep background checks this may become a nuisance. So, good point to bear in mind, thank you.

Let him use the other spelling at school if he prefers. My own DS did at that age as we had a similar issue, but has since gone back to the spelling on his birth certificate. They go through phases of wanting to fit in or stand out.

If it's Jax I would definitely change to Jack.

Is it like Euan/Ewan? If so, people will get used to it. I did when a friend called their son this.
If it’s something that can subsequently mean that it’s pronounced or it’s longer I wouldn’t.

I wouldn’t change it on official documents, and that keeps the heritage, but if your son prefers for example Thomas to Tomacz then I would let him use that every day.

No, it's not. In your example I would have pronounced the two names differently. In DS's case there's really no room for mispronunciation (if all the letters are read out) both versions sound exactly the same. Very much like Jane/Jayne situation.

Keep the original spelling. I know a girl named Jorja and every time she says her names she spells it out because it is not written the typical English way but her parents are of Greek origin and it stems from their language.

People just need to get used to it. I had a Scottish surname, had to spell it every single time. My married name is English, I still have to spell it every single time. You just get used to it. My son has a name you can spell 3 different ways. I am getting the Michael McIntyre stand up comedy about names like Sara and Sarah.

Keep the original spelling. I have a bog standard British name which can be spelled a couple of ways and there’s also a Welsh variation - it rarely gets spelled correctly! And my surname is really easy to say if you say it as it’s read, but people usually add additional letters in for some reason. I’m in my fifties and had this happen all my life, and have never let it bother me.

I have to spell my name every time someone needs to write it down and people prarely know how to say it. It's a proper name but it's foreign. I don't find it an issue at all. I don't care if people misspell it or mispronounce it. I correct people sometimes and sometimes I don't bother. I love my name.

Loads of people have names that don't have a single obvious spelling.

Thomas with an h
Jayne with a y
Sarah with an h
Cathy with a y

Etc

Thank you for all your input, I'm glad I came here 😊
This reminded me how in my early days in the UK someone said they are "Stephen with a ph" and I wondered why they would be called Stevenph!

Is it racist and zenophobic though? Happens to me all the time. I have a very English name that has about 3 ways to spell it and my own family routinely spell it wrong . I also get called a totally different name in work/new people situations (think Sarah/Sharon- same first sound but totally different). Our surname is routinely mis spelled and mis pronounced and our Child’s name said wrong (empasis on wrong sounds think Alicia/Allessia). People are just lazy. If you change it OP there’s no guarantee people will get it right.

I have no clue how to say that, however I think people can make a reasonable attempt if it is explained to them.

That reminds me of the "Marc with a C" meme at Starbucks which always makes me smile. Just goes to show someone out there will always spell a name incorrectly!

My child has a name that can be spelled two ways - think Steven/Stephen, but people invariably spell it the wrong way even when they have known him for a long time. Teachers did it all through his schooling. It really irritates him, and me.

@kiki880, from my conversations with people with names with sounds that don't occur in English, they prefer it if people don't try, and they usually go by an anglicised name. The attempts at replicating the sounds are usually bad.

If you have a name like Lleucu, only the c has an equivalent sound in English. Many won't understand that the Ll doesn't sound like Ch, Cl or Thl regardless of how many times they listen and watch you say it. It's not because they are ignorant or not trying.

I’m torn.

My name is an unusual spelling of a very common name. It’s a pita. People are forever asking about it or “correcting” it.

But, like your DS, it is a name that reflects my roots (it was an ancestor’s name). I wish I had been given it as a middle name.

Is there any scope for that with your DS’s name?

That’s the usual spelling isn’t it?