When does immunity actually build up for anything ??!!

[rockandaharderplace]

My ds is CONSTANTLY ill and he’s 7!

No underlying conditions, had bloods, eats well, has vitamins etc etc.

He isn’t getting a break. Since reception his attendance has never been better than 70%.

Constant tummy bugs, constant viruses with high temperatures, ear infections, tonsillitis , covid, etc etc etc. He’s not even getting over one thing before he gets another ?

The gp says it’s normal - the school say it’s not and they are pushing all the time about attendance. I’m so fed up of it and I don’t know what to do !!

70% attendance is not normal for a child with no underlying heath conditions.

Is he having unnecessary time off for these illnesses or just the bare minimum? If he's really too ill to go to school 30% of the time I'd go back and see another GP.

We’ve seen multiple gps all day the same.

We now have to take him for everything to verify for school - things that in the past we wouldn’t see a gp for (eg viral illness with high Temperature) . The gp did investigations bloods etc and he’s fine they said it’s normal and part of childhood but the school are saying it’s not normal. My threshold for keeping him off has been queried but I have set criteria I’ve always stuck to which is :

Temp over 38 , d and v obviously, or just very ill eg with tonsillitis if he can’t eat/drink due to pain. I asked about tonsil removal the gp said it’s not necessary

Some kids just seem to be like this it seems. My friend's child always has something or other going on, my child has barely had a day off sick since reception (now 11).

But I would have a think about whether you are keeping him home when really he could go in, even if it's just a day.

The gp seems overall not happy we are making these appts for things they say we can self manage at home or with pharmacist help as appts are in demand and he doesn’t actually need them but school want each illness verified now

Absolutely not in fact he often goes In not 100% and needs paracetamol or is on antibiotics and in school so even when he’s there he’s not well a lot of the time. I just want his immune system to build up but it’s not happening and it’s so frustrating!

Get a second opinion about tonsillectomy.

the gps we asked both said to us that in between episodes his tonsils are barely even visible and he’s not a candidate for removal

ask your GP to send a letter to the school.
You are caught between a rock and a hard place - GP don't need you to waste an appointment and school insist on GP confirmation.

So ask GP to write ot school saying that they WILL NOT give and appoitment for viruses with temp and symptoms that can be managed at home, but that it is reasonable to keep him off if temp over 38 etc.

I have to say though - 70% is incredibly low. The kids I know who have regular illnesses get down to about 85%. That means he is missing 1.5 days per week on average.
So I do have to wonder about his illnesses.
D and V isn't actually that common, so if he is regularly sick I wonder about a food intolerance? Or even something like crohns?

Removing tonsils seems to go in fashion waves, at some times they will remove them and at other times not. At the moment they don't remove them at all. As someone who had chronic tonsilitis aged 20 I can't tell you how much of a difference it made to get rid of them. If he has several boughts of tonsilitis every winter I would ask for a referral to an ENT and push for them to be removed.

The gp said it’s guidance that they don’t do attendance letters for school and if they do it’s non nhs work so there’s a charge - will the school pay this ?

no food intolerances but I think that he vomits easily with temperature and ear infections and sometimes gets diarrhoea as well due to that ? But I can’t be sure so we have to stick to the 48 hr rule each time

No

But neither can they force you to pay for private medicine.

It's a common impasse, becoming commoner because covid is so good at depleting the immune system, making all other infections that bit worse. And of course if you keep getting covid, because the depletion lasts for months maybe years, then this becomes the new normal.

(You could try writing to the governors about the school requiring a health service that is not available on the NHS, and asking how that fits with the 1944 Education Act (and successors) all of which prohibit additional charges or costs of attendance).

I guess we will have to just hope at some point his immune system kicks in . I’m just so frustrated

I think I would be pro-active here.

Write to the school. State that you have taken him to the GP every time, but that the GP is now refusing to see him for minor illnesses that can be managed at home.
The GP will not write a letter to the school to that effect as it goes against their policy.
Ask the school

1. are you prepared to pay the GP for the cost of a letter?
2. are you prepared to pay for a private medical appointment for each time that he is ill?
3. what do the school suggest as a solution as they are asking for something that is not available on the nhs?

confirm that you keep him at home when he has a temp over 38, when he has D and V (in accordance with schools own policy) or when he is too unwell to go to school (in pain, asleep on sofa all day etc)

It is a case of pushing back at the school.

But I do understand your frustration.

Thank you I’ll do this

Are you doing anything to try and boost him up? Zinc supplement? Multi vitamin? Probiotics? I would be proactibe to try and boost him up
a bit as 70%is low. Onviously a healthy dietnis key but small children are not always great eaters and might need some supplementing. Am not a nutritionist or doctor, but that is what I would do.

I second the suggestion of giving him a course of probiotics. Gut health plays a big part in immunities. My son was the same as yours, but since I started giving him a three week dose of probiotics twice a year we've seen a huge improvement.

I’ll try probiotics currently he has a multivitamin and mineral supplement plus extra vit d (the gp said it would help). Eats tons of veg and salad and a moderate amount of fruit, plenty of protein etc

Sambucol liquid is amazing. My son was also that child until he was around 9, its draining so i feel for you!

Does he wash his hands enough?

It sounds silly but something so basic can help particularly at this time of year when kids are all sharing illnesses. I drummed it into my dc to wash hands after bathroom but also as soon as they come home after school. Seen plenty of their friends not do the same though when they come over!

At home yes ! School no !!! They don’t even get them to before lunch

I don't think it's hand washing, I'm sure the majority of 7yos don't bother to wash their hands unless stood over by an adult. I know my 5yo avoids it if he can possibly get away with it and my eldest was the same.

IME the constant stream of illnesses seems to be mostly gone by about age 3/4 (sample size of two children age 5+ and a two year old who is still mostly constantly snotty, but maybe a bit less ill than he was last year) so 7 does seem unusually late for that. Strange that the GP won't refer for any investigation.

In also surprised that the GP says this is normal, when I was a primary school governor that level of absence would have been extremely unusual, I dont remember a case as high as that ever being noted in the reports

But in your case I'd tell the school you won't be getting documentation and put the ball back in their court, let them worry about the next steps

70% attendance is very low. I second others saying get him checked again and also healthy diet, vitamins etc.

This might sound an odd thing to ask, but how often does he get stomach bugs? DD used to get them literally every month, sickness and temperature with no other symptoms. It was a standing joke with a friend about it was her time of the month and I became very conscious about cleaning, disinfecting, keeping dishcloths spotless. During those times she had no lower stomach pains, but on one occasion sickness, temperature transferred to that - turned out to be an appendicitis and she had an operation. From that point onwards her stomach bugs stopped. It's a massive coincidence if it wasn't that trying to flare up for 2/3 years. Now 22 and it's 14 years since she had sickness!

70% is very low attendance. I'm a teacher (although secondary, which I do understand is different) and I've only seen attendance that low in kids with a known serious underlying health condition (rarely) or, more commonly, with some traits of school refusing.

For example, hating school, feeling relief at not having to go, being more likely to be absent when there's a test on, or on certain days of the week to miss a certain subject (such as PE).

Can you be sure that this doesn't apply to your son?

Just to be clear, this isn't me being judgy. School refusing is a serious sign of mental health issues and not to be dismissed as laziness or being spoilt etc.

Things like D+V can be brought on by stress/dread. Other symptoms such as headache, tummy ache, can be similar or even exaggerated by the child who dreads school.

Have you noticed a pattern in terms of days of the week?