Do you play with your children?

[Gafan]

I have a 8 year-old boy and we do arts and crafts, films and go out but we don't sit and play because I just don't like it. I know it sounds harsh but I'm not very good at imaginative play so I have always struggled with anything like this.
Also my son has quite a few issues with things and when he plays he doesn't like anyone else's rules , spontaneity so I don't enjoy it either.
Is this wierd / do I need to make more effort.
I just feel lately alot of guilt.

Thanks

Not really any more. Youngest is 12 and doesn’t play with toys now.
he likes board games and card games which I play a lot with him though!

No. Never have. I play games ie board games. Or a structures activity. But stuff like barbies, imaginative play, chase games etc those are for friends and siblings

Not a huge amount- never really had to as my eldest has little to no imagination- never has, never enjoyed toys- very physical and crafty- and my youngest has the eldest

But stuff like barbies, imaginative play, chase games etc those are for friends and siblings

Thats clearly how my DM felt because I have no memories of her playing with us at all. I feel quite sad about that.

I played with mine all the time, no matter how tedious it felt op. It’s over far too quickly and they are only young for such a small time.

Yes, all the time, they love it and want to play imaginitive games very frequently and I enjoy playing with them in that way. But we do it as it is natural for us- they never stop making up little worlds and stories for us to act out as dolls or whatever. They do get better at it as they get a little older- better at turn taking and listening to each others ideas and playing off them etc.

But if thats not natural for you and your child, you don't need to push it. If they want to they will find friends to do that with.
I am awful at sports so my girls do that with their dad, as I can't throw a ball straight and am terrible at swimming.
He, in turn, is very dyslexic and can't stand reading so he has never read to them, I do that, but he covered lullaby singing as he has a way better memory for songs and a nicer singing voice.
It's all fine, you can play to your strenghts and do what you do enjoy doing with them, your child will value that way more than forcing something just because you feel you should.

I played with mine but it was not that enjoyable. My ds wanted me to be a farmer and dd would boss me as a teacher. But l did it just to keep them happy. Then my gd arrived and l had to do it all again. She was far more assertive with very definite instructions but as we didn't live together l could escape.
My favourite was hospital/ doctos as l got to lie down. Its a necessary sacrifice as a parent l believed but it was never my favourite. Rathered crafts/ puzzles/ boardgames/ books

Mario kart, occasionally roblox & minecraft, board games, crafts mine are to old for toys.

It's weird, my mum didn't do any of that stuff with us either...however as a grandparent she has endless patience for it!!

My daughter wants me and my husband to role play all. The. Time. It drives us mad as we both hate it but I know it’s really good for her, so we both do our best. But honestly weekend days can be 12 hours solid of role play demands sometimes!! I also loved this as a child but the difference was I don’t ever remember my parents joining in (nor do I remember feeling upset that they didn’t!) - but I had younger siblings who were probably roped in instead! Desperately trying to get her in to lego, sylvanian type things so she can boss those about instead of me 😂

happy to play board games, card games , read, do magazines and workbooks, build Lego etc til the cows come home, but role play…bleugh.

A bit. Imaginative play was not a strength of mine so I found it difficult but Intried to inject “structure” into it which helped.

For example ds used to like us to play with his paw patrol so we would invent accidents and the send the paw patrol to the rescue. I prided myself on being able to come up with a role for every one of them as part of the rescue. He was also mad on trains and we used to build these amazing tracks. I quite liked that bit as I had an aim. And then I would try and get all the trains from their sheds to their station on the track. That was quite fun as a logic puzzle to solve.

I found it harder with dd as she just wanted to potter in her toy kitchen. But she didn’t want me so much anyway as she wanted to do everything her way. So I would just watch her and ask what she was doing and try and look interested.

I’ve been playing board games with them both since before they were 2. I like board games.

I can do games, board games, quizzes, painting, jigsaws, scalectrix etc.

But I am not cut out for role play games. I’m hoping mine are close enough in age to play together (they’re babies at the moment, well, one baby and one foetus!)

Jeez I think that's really sad.

Op yep I play with mine, all sorts of games!

Not sad at all. My kids are happy well adjusted individuals and I definitely don’t feel sad about it. They know they are loved

Yes I play with mine.

I'm not the best at role play but it's his favourite and always asks me to play with him so I must be doing something right 😅 I can't imagine saying no to playing with him tbh.

I happily play board, card and video games, bake, do arts & crafts, go swimming, go to the park/field/woods, read/go to the library, do jigsaws and puzzle books, watch TV, visit the zoo/farm, take them to museums, set up train tracks, help with Lego...

But I don't pretend to be a cat or a superhero. I just can't do it. DH is the same. Mine are 9 and 5 now and either play those sort of games together, on their own or with my very willing DM. Who, conversely, will pretend to be a mechanic for ages but point blank refuses to play a board game! (With my DC or with me when I was young.)

We're all good at different activities.

Constantly. My child has siblings but they never play together…

Two DDs (2.5 and 7), and I play with them often. The eldest has always been into imaginative and small world play, and I don’t mind too much doing it with her. The youngest is in the prime ‘imaginary cafe in the playground’ stage, so I drink a lot of pretend coffee. Tbh it’s not my favourite thing, but it makes them happy, and it’s a way for us to bond.

OTOH I’m really not a fan of craft, so that’s something I delegate to grandma, who has far more time for it!

Yes because I love it! Especially role play.

But it's honestly fine if you don't.

My children are really little so I play with them everyday. I assume I’ll still play with them when they’re 8, even if I don’t particularly enjoy their games.

I don’t think you need to play with him all the time, it’s important that children learn to entertain themselves. But if he wants to play with you, it seems really mean to point blank refuse.

I used to when they were smaller but 6 and 8 we don't do 'make her talk' type play. They don't ask anymore because me and DH are so crap at it!

We have lots of days out, do art / craft / baking, not keen on that either though! Do some Mario kart, board games etc.

My kids are adults and have left home but we still play board games and computer games when they come home. When they were little I'd happily play active games or board games or computer games but I didn't sit and play imaginary games with them. I'd go along with their imaginary games but I wouldn't sit and play with teddies or similar.

Mine doesn’t like me to be involved in role play. If I try and be a character I get corrected: “you’re mummy” with a patronising kind smile, like I’ve gone senile.

Nope not much. Parents often indirectly direct imaginative play which kind of goes against the principles of it in the first place.

Tbf I did choose to have more than 1 DC close in age for one of these very reasons. I have put up with my fair share of imaginative play in the early years but found it better for me to lay things out to play with.

I participate in organised things like crafts, baking and drawing. I also play loads of Lego, Duplo, trains and tbf I can get stuck in with toy animals 😅. And I extensively play console games with them like Minecraft, Nintendo games. And board/card games too. Anything family friendly and co-operative. So essentially, I participate in things I actually enjoy sitting down and doing with them.

I am also constantly ferrying them somewhere, be it the park, soft play, the library, swimming, and I let them accompany me wherever I can. Try to give them as much opportunity to run around like wild monkeys whenever I can as we live in a flat so I do like to get them out and about!

On balance, I feel like I do plenty with them even if I'm not one of those imaginative play type mums. I have done it and they do enjoy it but we are all human and it takes a lot of time and energy and sanity to raise DC, so I have to give myself a bit of a break and I hope other parents do the same!

God no this is what play dates are for!
I will read with her, watch a film, go for muddy walks etc and play board games but no l don't play dolls or anything. I mean she is 12 now but even when she was younger l didn"t.
Don't feel bad op.

Constantly. I was a hedgehog on the way to school this morning, a doctor, a hairdresser, a cafe owner, a big sister and a home renovator this afternoon/evening. DD will do anything if you turn it into a shop. I do what works.