Ds is is 3 years behinde.

[Ds888888]

Ds has autism and learning difficulties. He has an ehcp.

Hes in year 4 but working at year 1 level. He is 8 his brother is 7. Ds is starting become more awear and getting really upset.

I was just wondering if there's anything I can do /say that might make him feel better.

I know. Totally agree with you. Its getting him to understand that. I'm going to try and build his confidence through things he enjoys.

I agree that it might be a good plan to look at a different type of school, certainly for secondary. His self esteem might suffer from being in an environment where he feels so much less able to cope than his peers.

With an EHCP you should be able to say, at the transition review, that you want to look at a special school that will meet his needs and allow him to develop at his own pace and help his self esteem.

Gro · Today 19:15

I would consider looking at special schools. Where he will have a peer group and be around other children like him. It is horrible being the odd one out.

I'm not doing that. He loves school and his friends .it would mess him up mentally and emotionally

I am really sorry but you are going to have to find a different provision for him long term. He is 8 and already 3 years behind. That is not going to track, he is going to become more and more behind. You have said he is aware of it already, it is only going to get worse.

Special schools can be amazing if you find the right one. Don't be that parent that thinks your child is too good for SEN school. Some SEN schools are like a private school, a unique, tailored education just for your child. With friends who are experiencing the same challenges.

I know this is not what you envisioned when you had a baby, But you can still do the best for them without following the mainstream path.

You can't wait until he's getting ready for secondary to get into specialist provision. You need to get the ball rolling now on evidence of why mainstream can't meet his needs. At this rate he'll end up in mainstream secondary and that would not be best. But you need the evidence base built now, get it written into his EHCP now and get looking and researching. He's already in Y4.

This is bel g done hence the ehcp and up dates we have. Tuete will also be a more in depth one for year 5

I'm no longer replying to posts regarding secondary school. I have already explained this . He is my son I know him best.

I'm just wanting to build his confidence for him to feel pleased with himself at his own personal level for his here and now.

He won't be academic, but one day that won't matter. He will find 'his thing' that he is really good at and will still be able to live a full and active life.

To give an example, there is a highly autistic guy working in our local Tescos - he is excellent at his job. He has had employee of the month many times, he is punctual, helpful, the customers love him and he loves the routine of it. He has learned to drive, has friends, currently still lives at home but is planning to move to a flat share with a friend soon.
Your kid will get there. School isn't everything.

Honestly. Try an experiment. For one week, only praise both sons for their efforts rather than their achievements. It is actually harder to do than it sounds but please try. You will be amazed at how it works!

Yeah I definitely do this. Its just that the 8 year old has home work book for year 1. And 7 year old ds has it for year 3. Ds is becoming more awear now and gets upset by it.

OP my DD was really behind at primary. Didn't help that my friends' kids were flying, reading Harry Potter independently at age 6 etc. it was a source of real concern to me.

But she's catching up, is in year 9 now, loves reading. Will never be academic but will probably scrape through GCSE's. Medication for ADHD helped, she loves drama class so goes to one outside school. It's become her "thing" and she consoles herself that this is the thing she is good at.

I think bigging up your son's artistic talents will help give him a "thing" that he's special at, and boost his confidence. Are there any art classes for kids you could book him into?

I just want to add, that our child is not behind, they are working at their own pace which is actually the best way for a person to learn. Yes he may not be as academically able as other children his age and perhaps never I'll be but the most important factor here are his feelings not his achievements - how you convey that to him though I don't really know.

He would not be able to join an art club. It would make him worry. He can do it home though.

Yeah I get that but we are meant to fit neatly into a little compartment and when we don't its not so easy. I think as he gets older he will understand that it's about his own personal achievement within himself anything that makes him happy . I guess he will understand when he's a bit older.

Poor lad. Definitely focus on his strengths. It sounds like he has his own talents and qualities.

Maybe the best people to speak to are his teachers. Can you ask them for tips on how to help him progress? Extra homework/activities. If he's able to? Also could you try lots of different extracurricular hobbies and find something he's good at? That may give his self esteem a boost.

How are you getting on now duebug? Did you catch up with your peers academically?

OP I can really relate to this my son with asd is 8 and just getting the hang of basic phonics and starting to blend (can however tell you everything about WW1). We are lucky in that his maths are almost at the level for his age so that's a positive. I'm not in England so not sure how things work there but here we have asd specific classes in some mainstream schools so DS attends the mainstream class for music ,art etc and the asd class for academic stuff with only six pupils so it's great for him. To be honest without the tiny class he'd never have progressed as he was in a different school in mainstream and he just wasn't learning at all. We praise him for effort and for doing his homework and we always talk about how he enjoys his special interests and how wonderful that he has so much knowledge about his special interests.

I think despite jealousy kids start to accept it. My eldest stopped swimming lessons and dc2 has overtaken. Dc2 is naturally better at maths.

However 2_ kids in dc1 y6 class seemed to get left to it where they couldnt read - as they werent taking SATs anyway. The school didnt bother much with them. They were below y2 level.
I know you arent replying about secondary, but in terms of where a child would have to ve to access the work. So many subjects rely on the reading ability. English itself hasnt got harder but obviously geo/history/sci etc. And maths has gone straight onto algebra and nth term sequences.
In terms of bullying there are kids at both local schools using asd as rude thing to call other kids. Even my dc and her friend are really struggling to make any new friends (both asd with no LD) and one is at a school with asd unit.
At lthis unit the kids are expected to move to mainstream fully classes within a couple of years. And neither school has been great for asd adjustments - none on uiform for eg.

This would not work . It just puts extra preasure on him. My aim is to try and build his confidence and feel good about the things he can do.

He likes drawing/art but he likes to do it on his own.
I'd get him lots of art material and encourage this. There are lots of you tube channels etc that he can watch and gain more skills too.

My nephew has/had ld, and his life changed once he discovered love of photography.

Yes I'm going to get him some new art things on Thursday. Have a place he could display things and also a book he could stick pictures in as well