The sadness

[BerfyTigot]

If you wake up feeling sad sometimes, what do you do?

I'm struggling with a chronic illness and sometimes feel overwhelmed with grief for the life which I once had.

Just looking for tips really. Thanks.

I’m about to go out but wanted to jot a quick hi and say I will come back to this as your post does resonate with me due to chronic illness that I have.

My mum has a chronic illness and it's been so hard because she used to be so independent. I think you have to allow yourself to grieve what you've lost, then when you're ready focus on what you can still do. If you can get out of the house, then meet up with friends, family or try to find others with similar illnesses or disabilities for some peer support. Be kind to yourself.

@TwistofFate thanks for the reply.
I like your username, particularly because I do feel that this illness is a twist of fate, nothing I've done wrong, it's just bad luck.
I do manage to get out and see people about once a week, so I'm not totally isolated.

Thanks so much for your kind words.

@PlatinumPosy thank you, I'd be interested to hear your coping strategies. I know that I'm not really depressed as I can feel happy too.

@BerfyTigot I am watching this thread with interest because I am in a similar situation to you.

Currently the only way I cope is by getting out of bed and putting something diverting on TV or radio etc to take my mind off the feelings, then having my morning routine. I try not to think about the feelings by distracting myself. It's not a good strategy but the only one I know when you have limited energy/physical capability because of illness.

I agree with PP who wrote about grieving for what's been lost. This might sound odd, but I don't know how to grieve. All my life I've pushed uncomfortable feelings away. I think I do this now with my distraction strategy.

Well I'm up and dressed now. Even put on some perfume 😁.

@MissMarplesNiece good idea - will find something to distract myself.
I don't know how to grieve either. I just cry sometimes, which does help!

Rediscover my passion. This week I am so excited because there is a free thing I am learning to do that is really skillful and enjoyable and it will reach thousands of people. I could do it from my bed if needed. I can also exercise from bed, FaceTime from bed, do crochet from bed, run an online group from bed etc.

It’s adjusting and making the most of what opportunities you have. Youcan also do virtual tours of every art gallery (lights off, headphones on) watch live webcams from around the world and immerse yourself in a different world. I have a lot I could be sad about if I chose to. I decided not to drown in sorrow but cling on to all the opportunities and positivity and I have created a lot this way. I always think of the runner who completed so many marathons with terminal cancer and say if she can do it, I can do it!

Give yourself time to mourn your life but also enjoy that life- what were the fun bits? What did you do that made you feel good. “All of the moments that already passed, try to go back and make it last” in the words of Nelly Furtado in try. I listen to that song a lot when I want to give up. The lyrics are so much more meaningful than you would imagine.

Anyway, sorry for going on, I hope at least some of my words will help and all the best OP.

Every day does not have to be the same though the walls may be the same. I was totally housebound for some time and it was awful. But I would go down a rabbit hole online for information. Watch a film then look at forums discussing the film, look at the actors biographies. I watched a film a day as it was all I could do.

Now I roll with the good and bad days, I went out on a hike on Saturday it was around 5.5 miles. So yesterday I did nothing I got some ready made cannelloni and chucked it in the air fryer and did some frozen veg and ready made sauce with it. I then watched tv pretty much all day and read and played on my game.

I do some voluntary work but they know about my illness so I warned them I was unreliable. I do behind the scenes not front facing stuff anyway. Being unwell really knocks your confidence and this has helped me. Recently I couldn’t go out for 5 weeks due to my illness but they were fine with that. But it did scare me as I was worried it could be months.

The one thing that does keep me going is that I have known three women who have all died very young. Even on a bad day now I think what wouldn’t they give to still be here and look out at that awful dull winter day or the laundry pile piling up or get irritated that someone else in the house took the last biscuit.

@Aurasauras @PlatinumPosy
Thanks both of you, your replies really helped.
I have watched a video on YouTube about Art Deco interior design, which I did enjoy, but maybe not quite as much as I normally would.

I have tried to remind myself about people who've died young/suffered worse than me and this also helps sometimes.

My main problem is boredom. I've gone from being very active and busy, between work and family, to being unable to do much at all. Kids left home at the beginning of the year, so I feel bereft.

And then I get cross with myself for being so self- indulgent.

On a more positive note, I have tidied up today (by doing 3 minutes at a time and resting).
Thanks to everyone who has replied.

@BerfyTigot its is boring isn’t it! The frustration is so real it’s not even about doing stuff like abseiling down mountains or water skiing its just the normal stuff that if I’m honest I used to take for granted.

Well done on some chores. I used to be a whirlwind of a person as well, really fast so I find the slowness really frustrating. It’s not as good as the big hoover but we do have a robot hoover which helps. I also let my standards slip, because I do not work DH really does work long hours plus does the lifting as I can’t.

Take care